Intimacy, Sex and Parents: Too. Much. Information. - FML

Too. Much. Information.

By knnev - 05/09/2021 08:01

Spicy

Today, I had to explain to my mother that she needed to buy a new mattress, telling her that we could hear the springs rattling every time she had sex with my dad. She then went on to explain that that is why they have sex on my bed when I'm not home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 632

You deserved it 174

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

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Same thing different taste

By fmjob - 21/07/2009 04:39 - Canada

Spicy

Today, I finally told my parents I would be changing bedrooms because I could no longer stand hearing them having sex, which is awkward and disturbing. Later, my dad came and asked me quietly if I thought my mom sounded "satisfied." FML

I agree, your life sucks 90 256

You deserved it 6 246

By nooneatall - 15/01/2010 03:16 - France

Spicy

Today, I was doing a shit load of sit-ups on my mattress. After realizing the bed was squeaking, I heard my dad laughing very hard from the basement. He thought I was masturbating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 954

You deserved it 20 221

False alarm

By dirtyhands - 18/02/2009 23:01 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was masturbating on my inflatable air mattress that squeaks when you move. Suddenly, my mom burst into my room to ask if I was okay because she thought the squeaking was me crying. I ripped my hands from my pants and turned on my side; she walked over and grabbed my hands to console me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 520

You deserved it 62 892

By scarred - 27/07/2009 04:42 - United States

Spicy

Today, I heard my parents having sex for the first time so I turned the TV up really loud to drown out the noise, and a minute or two later my mom comes downstairs in this skimpy nightgown to ask me why the TV was so loud and, seeing the horror on my face, kept asking what was wrong with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 011

You deserved it 3 944

Thin walls

By xtilltheendx - 05/10/2020 20:08 - United States

Spicy

Today, I had to have an awkward conversation with my parents when they told me they were able to hear me and my boyfriend having sex at night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 542

You deserved it 1 380

By glittercat - 26/01/2009 23:44 - United States

Spicy

Today, I heard my mom moan in the other room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 231

You deserved it 3 318

By Anonymous - 03/01/2009 16:48 - France

Spicy

Today, I can hear my parents having sex in the next room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 668

You deserved it 4 390

By Brokeandangry - 06/08/2018 21:13

Today, I bought my kids new mattresses for their new beds. Within 24 hours my son did a cannon ball onto his sister's bed to prove that it wouldn't break. The box spring snapped in half. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 734

You deserved it 310

Nooooooo!

By ScarredEars - 12/08/2010 12:02 - United States

Spicy

Today, I heard my parents having sex. It wouldn't have been so bad if we weren't in the same hotel room. They thought I was asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 354

You deserved it 3 798

By ThanksMom - 26/03/2009 18:17 - United States

Spicy

Today, my parents were helping me construct my bed. We ended up not having enough screws to properly secure the frame. My dad mentioned that it might cause problems if I got a girl into my bed. My mom said, "Don't worry about it, we all know that's not going to happen." FML

I agree, your life sucks 104 566

You deserved it 9 193

Next

Top comments

RichardPencil 30

Sunday 5 September 2021 13:34

I don't know whether to tell you to never leave home or never go home again! Either has cringeworthy consequences!

Zach Ertzberger 7

Wednesday 22 September 2021 15:35

Sick burn, mom. 🤣

Comments

RichardPencil 30

Sunday 5 September 2021 13:34

I don't know whether to tell you to never leave home or never go home again! Either has cringeworthy consequences!

JasonThorn 19

Tuesday 7 September 2021 21:40

Me: "...YOU'RE SOLVING THE WRONG PROBLEM!!"

Zach Ertzberger 7

Wednesday 22 September 2021 15:35

Sick burn, mom. 🤣

Keywords

Dreams Jealousy Love Video games Geek Gamers Parents Family AITA Kids Animals Relatable Gun control Money Amazon Annoying Birthday Cute Health Weird Awkward Abuse Social Media Scams Miscellaneous Friends Mysterious School Education Anger issues

The Top

Today, I got called in for a second job interview for a position I'd applied for. When I met the interviewer, she smiled and told me to have a seat. She pulls out her phone and says, “So, care to explain this?” It was one of my TikToks from ages ago of me singing the "N-word" over and over again. I forgot I had that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74

You deserved it 1 004

Today, the guy I’ve been trying to get over for the last month finally messaged me like I’ve been hoping for, only to cry that his new girlfriend cheated on him and to ask if I think he should forgive her, because he, "appreciates my honesty." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 590

You deserved it 215

The Top

Today, our favorite teacher walked into our history class and everyone started whistling, I decided to join in by screaming, "Sexy!" The room went quiet and all heads turned to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 861

You deserved it 80 592

Today, I walked in on my sister plucking her nipples. A shame I didn't get a big fuck-off bottle of brain bleach for Christmas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 767

You deserved it 8 237

Today, my dad is disappointed in me because I came to him for advice on how I should tell my girlfriend I don’t feel ready for sex yet. He just looked at me, shook his head, and walked away. Later he sent my mom to ask me if I’m gay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 199

You deserved it 401

Today, I let my son take my car out for a spin, since he just got his licence. He didn't make it out of our street before totaling it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 412

You deserved it 15 157

Today, the highlight of my day was going outside and finding that there were two very friendly cats right at the front door. The worst part of my day was quickly shutting the door while trying to stop my cat from charging at them. I now have scars to prove it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 341

You deserved it 100

Today, my boyfriend came out as a polyamorous, and then immediately asked me if he could date another guy I thought was my friend. I’m such a pushover, I said yes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 415

You deserved it 1 383