Miscellaneous: Today, while vacuuming my new apartment, I farted a few times....

By Fartfail - 18/04/2012 13:43 - Hong Kong - Corozal

Today, while vacuuming my new apartment, I farted a few times. After my last fart, I turned to find my super-hot neighbor standing at the door. Panicking, I asked in a "I-didn't-just-fart-my-ass" tone, "Oh hi! Been standing there for long?" She replied, "Since your initial rip." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 793

You deserved it 6 770

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Same thing different taste

Elephant

By frank - 26/03/2021 23:01

Today, I farted in my office, assuming nobody would come in until the smoke cleared. The new girl then came in to introduce herself. She had her hands on her nose the whole time, while we both awkwardly tried to ignore the stank elephant in the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 758

You deserved it 457

By Mic - 07/01/2010 17:44 - United States

Today, I was going over some paperwork with my back to my office door. As I turn around, my boss enters and says my name loudly. I was startled so bad that I jumped, yelped, and a high-pitched fart snuck out. Everyone in the office now gives prior notice before dropping by the "fart guy's" office. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 532

You deserved it 4 639

Hear this?

By soundslikeadumbcommentersituation - 11/07/2014 20:34 - Canada - Brampton

Today, while in my backyard, I had some insane gastric distress. I let out a fart so powerful that it made me yelp in pain, and left my asshole numb. A second later, I heard a cough come from over my neighbor's fence. I had to quietly limp back into my house in shame. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 839

You deserved it 6 930

Gas giant

By morgan - 09/04/2021 23:00

Today, while laying in bed, I let out a huge fart. I then heard my roommate yell from outside my room, "Did you think you were alone?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 774

You deserved it 284

By Keyser Soze - 17/01/2017 09:56

Today, I was cleaning out the cabinets under my kitchen sink and I farted with such force that my dog thought someone was knocking at the door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 647

You deserved it 1 021

By fartlover - 27/11/2009 05:10 - Canada

Today, I went over to my boyfriend's apartment and I smelled a delicious aroma as I walked in so I asked him what he was cooking. His response was, "I'm not cooking anything. I just farted." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 299

You deserved it 8 639

By anonymous - 05/05/2015 05:41 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was talking to a cute guy at my house party and had to fart. Luckily, it was silent. Unluckily, he smelled it, thought my house had a gas leak, and ran to the basement to check the pipes and ensure our safety. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 566

You deserved it 6 315

By Stinky and Single - 06/08/2015 23:14 - United States

Today, I was sitting in a secluded corner of a coffee shop and felt extremely gassy. Thinking I'd be safe, I let out a pretty nasty smelling fart. Next thing I know, a cute guy is approaching me and asked my name, but all it took was for him to inhale once and he bolted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 756

You deserved it 6 674

By D.J. - 25/01/2014 01:34 - United States - Houston

Today, I ran into my apartment and let one rip, since I'd been holding it the whole elevator ride up. My parents had let themselves in while I was out, and laughed at me for a good 20 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 884

You deserved it 6 522

By stink - 01/07/2015 02:40 - Australia - Sydney

Today, after working alone in a room all day, I let a fart sneak out. Just then, my drop dead gorgeous boss and two new girls walked in. I could literally see them hit the stench and cringe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 446

You deserved it 4 980

Bekll 31

Wednesday 18 April 2012 18:55

She could hear it over the vacuuming?

crablegs 2

Wednesday 18 April 2012 18:54

didn't just Fart your Ass? where else would you Fart from?

Comments

cowboys357 4

Thursday 19 April 2012 1:14

You deserve it. Why would you leave the door open?

ohSNAPyall 26

Thursday 19 April 2012 1:33

Don't be embarrassed. Be creeped out that she stood around watching you fart. And next time, leave a window open instead of the door.

trollierthanthou 1

Thursday 19 April 2012 1:35

aw come on everyone farts! If she gets disgusted with you farting in the safety of your own home, she is a hypocrite and not worth your time.

Noahgh2010_fml 0

Thursday 19 April 2012 2:44

i did that at school but infront of my girl friend and then she dumped me because of that

jeterman67 0

Thursday 19 April 2012 2:57

well that's a good way to start a relationship lol

nateb123 4

Thursday 19 April 2012 3:22

I have never heard a better set up for "Wanna grab some Mexican food from this awesome place down the street?" in my entire life. You get to hang with a hot girl whose okay with you farting AND you get sweet Mexican. Double whammy!