Intimacy: Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, some homeless person...

By Anonymous - 15/03/2015 03:02 - United States - Lake Forest

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, some homeless person came up to the window and started doing a voice-over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 457

You deserved it 13 936

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Same thing different taste

Repetition

By Fuck - 25/02/2015 21:39 - United States - Fowler

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend. In the middle of it, he started saying in deep voice, "Enter, exit." Over and over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 736

You deserved it 4 429

Not now

By anonymous - 02/02/2011 05:17 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. Right before I was about to climax, he asks, "Do you remember when you bought the homeless guy with one leg a hot dog?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 328

You deserved it 4 717

By Whoops - 28/01/2010 20:21 - France

Today, my boyfriend and I were having a make-out session in the backseat of his car, when we heard a voice coming from his pants. Who did he pocket dial? My house. At midnight, when I was supposed to be home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 462

You deserved it 36 459

By Anonymous - 21/04/2016 20:28 - United States - Fremont

Today, I was video chatting with my boyfriend, when his doorbell rang. He said it was his friend and that he'd be back soon. He shut off his video feed but forgot to mute his audio. A few minutes later, I heard him and some orgasm-faking girl getting it on in the background. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 483

You deserved it 1 755

By English_Nut117 - 30/10/2013 19:17 - Canada - Georgetown

Today, my boyfriend came onto me in a romantic gesture. We ended up having sex, forgetting that the window repair guy was supposed to come today and do some work on our third floor apartment windows. I still don't know how much he saw. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 664

You deserved it 15 189

By scarredforlife - 16/06/2013 23:27 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, in public, a homeless guy looked me in the eyes and started wanking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 479

You deserved it 5 038

By Noname - 27/01/2009 11:22 - United States

Today, my boyfriend fell asleep during phone sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 335

You deserved it 28 315

By S…… - 09/01/2011 10:18 - Singapore

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex. He decided to make gun sound effects as he came. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 374

You deserved it 5 765

In the mood

By Steve - 16/12/2012 06:25 - United States - Oshkosh

Today, my girlfriend and I were in the mood for something different. So we decided to have sex in the shower. When we were finished I heard a voice outside the door asking if we needed a towel. It was my mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 782

You deserved it 18 359

By Anonymous - 19/01/2016 11:03 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It was all going great until he decided to try talking dirty. His idea of this was moaning loudly, "Just what the pussy ordered" as he entered me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 285

You deserved it 2 746

abu4u 26

Sunday 15 March 2015 12:06

It's ok as long as he sounds like Morgan Freeman.

rhysfucker 24

Sunday 15 March 2015 12:02

You need curtains or blinds.

Comments

ODST_Panda 12

Sunday 15 March 2015 23:04

ted Williams is that you, did you come back

sprints54 19

Sunday 15 March 2015 23:32

Ok and????

uchihadesendent 14

Sunday 15 March 2015 23:49

my goal is to be a voice actor but to read a funny fml today made my day

LethalSeamonkey 15

Sunday 15 March 2015 23:50

Plot twist they live on the 24th floor.

syed121417 22

Monday 16 March 2015 0:50

I have to admit that is pretty funny but such a mood killer. Always remember to close the curtains/blinds!

phreaker913 21

Monday 16 March 2015 1:12

maybe close the window next time?

CO_RRA 11

Monday 16 March 2015 1:44

Close the blinds, you animal!

JKPwnage 27

Monday 16 March 2015 3:29

"And now, the male repeatedly thrusts his penis into the female's ******..."

copperhead757 3

Monday 16 March 2015 3:53

I'll be honest I laughed at this

verysmarmy 11

Monday 16 March 2015 5:35

I like the sound of this homeless guy. When you're done being creeped out, could you introduce me to him?

Keywords

Gamers Love Video games Gross Weird Health First Dates Smells Technology Parents Kids Annoying Dogs Animals Jealousy AITA Pranks Dreams Family Geek Gun control Relatable Money Amazon Birthday Cute Awkward Abuse Scams Social Media

The Top

Today, one of my friends confessed his love for me and said he wanted to be more than friends. Jaded by guys who only wanted one thing, I pushed him away saying, “Oh really, is that what you think you need to say to get in my pants?” He frowned and stormed off. Later, I found out he really did want a relationship. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71

You deserved it 860

Today, I met my boyfriend in Hong Kong after being apart for almost 6 months. We got to our room and got right down to business. I was just about to come when a voice came over the PA system in the room. "This is just a fire alarm test, sorry for any inconvenience." FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 132

You deserved it 5 932

The Top

Today, it's the last day of my three-week vacation, during which I couldn't go anywhere due to COVID and lockdown. I just learned that some of my colleagues are infected and I will have to fill in for two department superintendents at the same time when I go back to work tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 941

You deserved it 95

Today, I was taking a customer's order, when she said she'd better go for a salad, because she was getting fat. She was actually very slim, so I told her she wasn't fat at all. She took one look at me and snorted "Yeah, not compared to you, that's for sure." FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 674

You deserved it 4 360

Today, I have been at my new job for almost a month and still have no idea what I'm doing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 343

You deserved it 11 502

Today, my old boss stiffed me on a large sum of money he owes me. I tried to contact him and point out that he legally owes me the money, but he won't answer his texts or his phone, and the managers say he changes the subject whenever they bring it up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 206

You deserved it 1 490

Today, as I have been the past week, I've was sent to fix my coworker's fuck-ups in his new area, and help him out as I know it. I then needed help in his old area, and got told to suck it up and figure it out. I've been doing this a year, he's been doing it for 5 years FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 554

You deserved it 279

Today, my wife gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. She's perfect in every way, except for her birth mark. It's under the corner of her left eye and looks almost exactly like a prison teardrop tattoo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 813

You deserved it 7 814

Same thing different taste

Repetition

Not now

In the mood

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