Miscellaneous: Today, two Jehovah's Witnesses rang my doorbell for the 10th...

By Goaway - 14/08/2011 11:20 - United States

Today, two Jehovah's Witnesses rang my doorbell for the 10th time. This time they asked me whether I knew Faith's greatest enemy. I replied, "Basic reasoning?" A copy of The Watchtower can really hurt when it hits you in the eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 710

You deserved it 10 825

May Day: Lily of the Valley and Misunderstandings
When lilies of the valley bring good luck... or not! Discover the stories behind every little bell! More…

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Same thing different taste

By lonely - 12/04/2010 00:27 - United States

Today, the Jehovah's Witnesses were at my door. Normally I don't give them the time of day, but I was so lonely for company, I let them in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 074

You deserved it 7 743

He's a very naughty boy

By Anonymous - 29/03/2020 08:00

Today, a Jehovah's Witness followed me around, talking about Jesus. My dad's a pastor. I hear this stuff all day, every day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 675

You deserved it 188

**** off

By Anonymous - 23/07/2019 14:03

Today, my wife let two Jehovah's Witnesses in for a chat, then deliberately went to a neighbour's for "Two minutes," and left me with them for half-an-hour, with them refusing to take my hints to leave. In the end, I told them to fuck off, just as the wife arrived home, and she got mad at me for being rude. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 823

You deserved it 218

God is Dead 6: Electric Boogaloo

By Anonymous - 02/08/2021 21:01 - United States - Steele

Today, I finally mustered up the courage to tell my overly-religious parents that I'm an agnostic. They asked me why. As soon as I gave my reasons, my mom called me a "bigot" and hurled a bible at me, and it nailed me in the crotch. She then said, "That's what you get, non-believer." FML

I agree, your life sucks 867

You deserved it 133

By funkyhed84 - 31/05/2017 11:00 - United Kingdom - York

Today, I answered the door to two Mormon girls from America. I live in the UK and am not religious at all, but I was too polite to slam the door and ended up letting them in. An hour later, a copy of 'The Book of Mormon' and 'My Pathway to Baptism' and I think I'm now a Mormon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 174

You deserved it 1 590

By Watchtower? More like fortress. - 19/10/2012 21:39 - Norway - Oslo

Today, my dad saw on TV that in some parts of Africa, it's not uncommon for people to attach make-shift flamethrowers to their cars to defend against carjackers. He's now lost his mind and is forcing me to help him put one together to scare off Jehovah's Witnesses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 761

You deserved it 2 498

Teenage zealot

By Anonymous - 29/05/2023 15:00

Today, my daughter was complaining about having no friends. My son told her it’s her own fault for attending church 3 times a week and trying to convert everyone at school like a Jehovah's witness who you can’t shut the door on. He’s 100% right but now she won’t stop crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 882

You deserved it 317

Bashed

By Anonymous - 25/08/2019 14:00 - United States

Today, I was walking down the street, wearing nothing offensive, minding my own business, when a car drove past and threw something that hit me really hard in the back of my head. It was a Bible. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 802

You deserved it 138

Leave me alone

By Quortney - 22/07/2015 04:20 - United States

Today, I was working at the local grocery store and a customer of mine, who had only bought two granola bars and was holding up my line, tried to convert me to Christianity. Out of all the people to target, she chose the shy atheist who just wanted to do her minimum wage job in peace. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 624

You deserved it 3 069

Bible belt

By Anonymous - 27/11/2021 14:01

Today, after I recently started going back to church, my husband, who was last inside a church when he was replacing a boiler, told me I’d better knock it off because our kids threatened to stop visiting, and our neighbours think we’re “that couple.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 657

You deserved it 606

saIty 17

Sunday 14 August 2011 18:59

Next time open the door completely naked holding a pickle in your hand in one hand, while combing your pubes with the other. They'll never bother you again.

renaee 13

Sunday 14 August 2011 18:56

Feisty. I like it.

Comments

mdizzl 6

Sunday 14 August 2011 19:02

I hate when they come to my door. I'm sorry, but a stupid flyer isn't going to change my mind!

mortiz91_fml 6

Sunday 14 August 2011 19:02

Jehovah's witnesses are such a pain in the ass

_Noon_ 0

Sunday 14 August 2011 19:03

I like the way you think OP. And you got something out of it after all: a published FML!

chickie22 0

Sunday 14 August 2011 19:04

Actually if you live in the city its possible or your just a jerk and making it up

rngray984 0

Sunday 14 August 2011 19:08

Try working with one everyday 8 hours a day expect Thursday's he goes and does his walk arounds door to door.

bengermin 5

Sunday 14 August 2011 19:04

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

WeahNicole 0

Sunday 14 August 2011 19:10

Comma splices, when use correctly, are important in proper sentences.

metallicshadow 16

Sunday 14 August 2011 19:04

i'm all for religion and stuff, but I can't stand those door-to-door religious nuts

NomOnShroomz 14

Sunday 14 August 2011 19:05

That's when you smack em' across the face with a bible.

burningpassion69 6

Sunday 14 August 2011 19:05

next time were a upsidedown cross and awnser the door they will take a good look at you and walk away. he'll it worked for me and they never came to me house again