Miscellaneous: Today, on a dimly lit red eye flight, I woke up to see my mom's...

By Anonymous - 04/12/2014 19:33 - United States

Today, on a dimly lit red eye flight, I woke up to see my mom's head bobbing up and down in my dad's lap. I guess giving out stealthy blow jobs next to your sleeping son is no big deal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 595

You deserved it 3 292

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Same thing different taste

By madisonnkelly - 06/07/2015 03:18 - United States - Dallas

Today, I was laying in bed facing my dad. In the middle of our conversation, I noticed he became interested in something behind me. I turn around to the sight of my mom lifting up her shirt, flashing her boobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 524

You deserved it 3 094

Peek a boo

By Anonymous - 08/05/2014 02:31 - United States - Tampa

Today, my husband and I put our children to bed a little earlier than usual, so we could have some sexy time. Immediately following my full-blown orgasm, I rolled over, only to see my wide-eyed son peeking over the top of the mattress. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 040

You deserved it 16 158

By ohfantastic - 25/01/2009 02:47 - United States

Today, I was sleeping with my boyfriend and woke up in his arms to hear him say "Mom, Mom." FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 675

You deserved it 2 370

Parenting is exhausting

By ThreeWeeksWithoutSex - 28/12/2015 05:43 - United States - San Francisco

Today, our daughter fell asleep early, so my husband and I decided to get frisky. He passed out mid-blow job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 354

You deserved it 2 900

Scarred for life

By Guess who's back - 10/07/2022 10:00 - Australia - Homebush

Today, in the morning, my wife and I were having hot but silent sex on my futon while our 3 year-old slept in his crib. It was going great until my turn to come when I released a loud, "AARRGHHHHHH". My son promptly got up, took one look at me and his mother's back, then promptly went back to sleep without a word. FML

I agree, your life sucks 448

You deserved it 1 788

Classy

By bkay26 - 29/08/2010 15:37 - United States

Today, I walked in on my mom giving my dad head. Acting like I hadn't seen anything, I asked if I could use a towel sitting on the dresser. My mom said, "No, we're going to need that one." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 798

You deserved it 7 643

By jared77 - 02/08/2011 16:26 - United States

Today, my mom decided to give me a bloodcurdlingly graphic sex talk. On a plane. I'm 23. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 747

You deserved it 2 870

By Anonymous - 22/01/2010 05:02 - United States

Today, I found my boyfriend making out with my mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 930

You deserved it 4 792

By ooblie - 08/12/2010 08:22 - United States

Today, after receiving a lovely massage from my boyfriend, I was lying topless in bed beside him. Just as I was thinking this would be the perfect opportunity for some intimacy, he looks at me and says, "my mom is SO awesome." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 947

You deserved it 4 011

By f*cks_sake - 13/05/2011 23:07 - United States

Today, while tanning on a family cruise, I woke up to a crowd of people staring at me in disgust. Apparently, I'd fallen asleep, developed a boner, and started french-kissing the air. I had to sit through both the surveillance tapes and a grand bollocking from security in the aftermath. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 399

You deserved it 11 082

EggsinaBasket 9

Friday 5 December 2014 0:15

Must have really blown to wake up to that.

GoldFishPony 21

Friday 5 December 2014 0:17

I hope your mom is willing to fund the therapy you'll need now

Comments

dmbfan31 7

Friday 5 December 2014 2:59

How does anyone deserve to see that?

captainsmegma 12

Friday 5 December 2014 3:26

Rock on mom, rock on!

patd77 12

Friday 5 December 2014 3:31

This has to be one of the best fml that I have read. That suxs man.

fmlcommenter1016 3

Friday 5 December 2014 3:53

would've stood up and yelled "does anybody have Clorox or anything that will make me not see"

vikky538 28

Friday 5 December 2014 4:04

you could have asked the flight attendant for some facial tissues...the whole family needs it... I would recommend bleach added ones for you...

NostalgiaFreak9 41

Friday 5 December 2014 4:13

You're gonna need some new eyes.

NostalgiaFreak9 41

Friday 5 December 2014 4:15

I mean, you're gonna need new eyes OP.

WellHelloThere47 19

Friday 5 December 2014 4:52

how is that any different

inowhtthefoxsays 20

Friday 5 December 2014 4:22

Look on the bright side op. Could have been someone other than your dad!!!!

freehandjobs 6

Friday 5 December 2014 4:34

I woulda have totally embarrassed them lol

yungmumma88 10

Friday 5 December 2014 4:39

Look at it this way, if they're getting some they're not gonna be cranky XD

barnesburner 4

Friday 5 December 2014 4:57

Even a handy would have been too much.

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I was driving to visit my parents for the first time in two years. After spending about $4000 to make sure my car wouldn't break down on the journey, around the halfway point, the front tire popped and the engine blew out. I'm about 5 states away from both my parents and my home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 732

You deserved it 490

Today, my mother, who thinks I'm a virgin, called me while I was having sex with my boyfriend. I have to answer every time she calls or she freaks out. I ended the conversation quickly and hung up. Or so I thought. She listened in to the rest of our 20-minute lovemaking session, and I have some explaining to do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 792

You deserved it 1 711

The Top

Today, after spending 3 hours raking leaves, I went to the store to get some supplies. I came back to find my neighbor had decided to blow his leaves all over my yard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 825

You deserved it 1 852

Today, I’m so over my boyfriend smoking too many cigarettes, and I hate cigarettes. The smell is just disgusting and plus it makes my nose stuffy. And he gets ashes everywhere. Plus he always leaves his room a mess. Other than him being financially stable and fun, he's such a slob. FML

I agree, your life sucks 147

You deserved it 719

Today, my college started an internet "confessions" page. Out of curiosity I checked it out, only to find that it's full of some of the most disturbing stuff I've ever read. My schoolmates are either filthy as fuck or they are all pathological liars. Wonderful. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 719

You deserved it 5 214

Today, as I left class, I felt a tug on my rucksack from behind. Thinking it was just someone deliberately dragging me back, I struggled to let myself free and shouted, "Let go!" I looked over my shoulder just to find that one the straps was trapped in the doorhandle. Everyone was in hysterics. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 193

You deserved it 29 019

Today, after years of training and competing, I realized that the universe does not want me to play the piano. Not only do I have hands that can fit in toddler-sized gloves, my carpal tunnel is already to the point where I have to wear a brace at night, at the ripe old age of 14. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 693

You deserved it 4 706

Today, the coworker I've had a crush on for the past few months asked me if I was busy Friday night. I was so excited, I immediately replied, "I thought you'd never ask!" He gave me a funny look and said, "Good, because I need you to take my shift." FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 650

You deserved it 6 043