Kids: Today, my son got expelled after using the photocopier to photocopy...

By thebeachisthatway - 22/10/2012 18:56 - United States - Worcester

Today, my son got expelled after using the photocopier to photocopy his penis. He then used the copies to replace every directional arrow posted throughout the school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 238

You deserved it 5 271

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Same thing different taste

By atomwolf - 09/12/2016 17:01 - United Kingdom - Southampton

Today, I wanted to work out the volume of my penis and did so on the first piece of paper I could find on my desk. After I finished the calculations I realized that the other side of the paper was in fact my school report. It's the only copy I have. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 998

You deserved it 12 057

Right or wrong?

By Anonymous - 23/08/2022 16:00

Today, my son's school called to inform me that I had to come pick him up, as he was caught vandalising. What shenanigans had he gotten up to? Writing "Epstein didn't kill himself" on various desks and walls around the school. I'm not sure if I should applaud the sentiment, or be annoyed that he got caught. FML

I agree, your life sucks 753

You deserved it 468

By duckthehack - 28/01/2011 14:25 - Poland

Today, my 14 year old son got suspended and I had to pay for the damage after he sprayed "FUCK THE POLICE" on the back wall of his school. I'm a policeman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 970

You deserved it 8 894

Market crash

By Anonymous - 17/09/2019 20:00 - New Zealand - Wellington

Today, my son took some of my underwear to school. What's worse is he sold it to his classmate for $10. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 767

You deserved it 161

By Anonymous - 05/10/2012 23:02 - United States - Queen Creek

Today, I discovered that my 12-year-old son has secretly been printing out and selling copies of the suggestive photos from my camera that I'd taken for my husband. He's been selling them to kids at school for a dollar each. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 492

You deserved it 33 562

By Kulcha - 13/02/2009 11:07 - Australia

Today, I was expelled from school. By my own mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 422

You deserved it 40 439

By Renzy - 12/12/2012 18:32

Today, my son got suspended from school. He's in kindergarten. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 395

You deserved it 7 586

By PerpetuallyHappy - 25/09/2012 23:20 - United States - Rochester

Today, I got sent to the principal's office because my Dad decided that instead of signing his name, he would sign, "Ms. Bigtits", because he wanted to make sure the teachers were paying attention to what their students handed in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 884

You deserved it 1 929

By Mac - 16/09/2009 17:05 - France

Today, I was called by my son's school. They said he'd been forging my signature and comments in his reading book. He didn't forge them. I don't know what's worse: my handwriting looking like a 6 year old's, or being too cowardly to admit it. He has a week of lunch detention, but I still have my dignity. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 386

You deserved it 115 701

You dingdong!

By Anonymous - 15/11/2020 13:58

Today, I was copying an assignment from my friend and was feeling confident that I was gonna pass. I later found out I copied his name too, so the teacher failed us both. He won't talk to me now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 144

You deserved it 2 260

lawls79 14

Monday 22 October 2012 22:37

He was thinkin with the small head...

Welshite 39

Monday 22 October 2012 22:38

Innovation. He's going places.

Comments

chosha_fml 26

Tuesday 23 October 2012 2:51

Bit of both. :)

skyeyez9 24

Tuesday 23 October 2012 2:55

What is it with boys and their lifetime fascination/obsession with their penises?

TrailblazerSS 5

Tuesday 23 October 2012 2:57

I have to say that's pretty badass.

TrailblazerSS 5

Tuesday 23 October 2012 2:59

40 - uh no? I don't remember anything similar happening in that movie...

ksks1234 33

Tuesday 23 October 2012 2:59

Good thing I am not his mom. I probably would have made it worse by laughing.

sugarbabyxoxo 2

Tuesday 23 October 2012 3:04

Haha, win.

EMTchic 14

Tuesday 23 October 2012 3:11

WIN !

mr_longevity 1

Tuesday 23 October 2012 3:13

Like. A. Baus.

Psych101 9

Tuesday 23 October 2012 3:17

135- Your school doesn't? That's what I get for going to a Catholic school run by priests, I guess.

Sanrio90 8

Tuesday 23 October 2012 3:25

This is probably one of the funniest FMLs I've read in awhile. I ******* laughed for 5 minutes straight. Your son is a genius troll.

Keywords

Public freakouts Education Parents Mother in law Love Argument AITA Miscellaneous Insects Fear Cats Skincare Health Jealousy Coworkers Work Gross Drugs Animals Dogs Fire Awkward Scams Transportation Cars Money Bikes Scary Neighbours Intimacy

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Ahoy ship's boys and girls ! Today we're heading to France. Be ready to face rain, storm and beer because Lille is welcoming us, and believe me, it's not Los Angeles. Do you all have your raincoats? -Bonjour ! First of all, present yourself ma jol...

I agree, your life sucks 5

You deserved it 6

Today, I told my man that, in order to get me ready for sex within a minute whenever he wants, he only needs to relearn how to go down on me, which he used to do splendidly but has somehow forgotten. He apparently considers this too much effort and will rather keep groping me unsuccessfully. FML

I agree, your life sucks 398

You deserved it 101

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Today, I found out the reason our toilet paper has been disappearing so fast recently isn't because my son is wanking like a gibbon as I first thought. He's just been using our shredder to make streamers out of the stuff, then hiding it all in a box in his closet. Fucking hell, son. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 497

You deserved it 4 502

Today, I went to the dentist to get a cavity filled. The numbing medication didn't work, so I felt everything. I was in so much pain that I accidentally bit down on the dentist's finger, causing him to yell in agony. Now, I have to find a new dentist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 759

You deserved it 146

Today, I decided to quit smoking. My wife conveniently decided on the same day that she was going to start smoking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 459

You deserved it 3 349

Today, my girlfriend got paid by the richest guy in our school to go to the Winter Formal with him. She took up the offer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 229

You deserved it 506

Today, I grabbed a fresh hand towel from the drawer in the bathroom. I wiped my hands and noticed they smelled like shit. My 6-year-old had wiped poo from his finger onto the dark grey towels. I guess he sometimes helps the poo out. Good to know. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 356

You deserved it 555

Today, I went out to eat with friends. My crush was also at the restaurant with his friends. He smiled at me as I took a mouthful of food, and I choked. The waitress had to perform the Heimlich maneuver on me, while he and his friends fell off their chairs laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 951

You deserved it 155

Same thing different taste

Right or wrong?

Market crash

You dingdong!

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