Miscellaneous: Today, my older brother told me that no matter how fast you run... - FML

By kat9232000 - 19/06/2009 04:04 - Canada

Today, my older brother told me that no matter how fast you run at automatic sliding doors, they'll open in time. So I ran at a pair. They don't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 820

You deserved it 110 476

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Brain worms

By Anonymous - 20/02/2024 12:00 - Australia

Today, I realized I've been saying "Excuse me" to automatic sliding doors for the past week. They haven't responded yet, but I'll keep you posted on their social skills. FML

I agree, your life sucks 338

You deserved it 160

Let 'em in

By knoppad - 13/06/2009 19:46 - United States

Today, I was in my backyard. When I wanted to come back in the house, I tried to open the sliding door. I knew that my brother locked me out so I banged on the door very hard, causing the glass to break. It turns out that the door wasn't locked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 843

You deserved it 51 107

By Anonymous - 22/09/2011 20:21 - United States

Today, I went to run outside, only to smack straight into our sliding glass door. Just a few hours beforehand, my mom put up a strip of colored tape to stop this from happening. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 355

You deserved it 31 598

Alexa, play "Mr Loverman" by Shabba Ranks

By Anonymous - 15/03/2020 18:07

Today, I was at a store when I saw a cute girl from my school. Trying to act cool, I went to hold the door for her. Too bad it was an automatic door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 808

You deserved it 1 103

By Anonymous - 11/04/2009 05:40 - Canada

Today, I was walking towards the bus. The bus was scheduled to leave at 3:20, and it was 3:19 so I decided to run for it. As the doors were closing, I managed to just slip my hand into the door, so it didn't fully close. The bus driver saw this, looked at my face, and then drove away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 355

You deserved it 5 291

By Anonymous - 05/02/2016 12:37 - Australia - West End

Today, as my brother parked in our hotel's parking lot, I told him to be careful because the car wasn't straight. He retorted, "Yeah, just like you". My mother was in the back seat and heard everything. I hadn't come out yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 760

You deserved it 3 079

By thanksbro - 28/09/2009 00:10 - United States

Today, I came home from school and ran to the nearest bathroom to go #2. In my hurry, I forgot to shut the door so I asked my older brother who was walking by to close it for me. After a while he didn't respond, so I looked up to see not my brother, but his best friend watching me take a crap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 837

You deserved it 20 566

By Greg - 28/10/2013 21:53 - United States - Livonia

Today, I was leaving the grocery store when an old woman started yelling at me for not holding the door open for her. She accused me of being "everything wrong with the younger generation". It was an automatic door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 211

You deserved it 3 279

By Keastwood013 - 18/01/2013 15:25 - United States

Today, I held a door open for a sweet old lady with a walker. After she went through the door, she turned and said, "That's not how you're gonna get into my pants, son." FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 777

You deserved it 4 157

By shorty - 21/04/2014 04:11 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, when I went to the shopping centre, the automatic door wouldn't open for me. I had to stand there and wait until someone else walked by to open it for me. I have dwarfism and this is a daily occurrence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 608

You deserved it 4 426

Next

Top comments

24788 6

Friday 19 June 2009 12:06

WTF were you trying to prove?

redbluegreen 40

Friday 19 June 2009 12:12

Older brothers will say anything to make you look like an idiot, and you can't move faster then the machine can do it's job. I can't believe you believed him.

Comments

fml1358 0

Friday 19 June 2009 21:27

What the heck were you trying to prove and why would you even want to prove anything like that. That is soooooo stupid to even bother trying to do that. Older brothers are never really the most trustworthy people when it comes to stuff like that. Most older brothers try to get their younger brothers/sisters to do stuff just like what you did

Bubs_fml 0

Friday 19 June 2009 21:33

Yeah. #57. because Obama hasn't gotten everything completely sorted out in his first few months as president, he is a failure? The kind of people who say stuff like that are the same people who voted for Bush.

fuck_YOUR_lives 0

Saturday 20 June 2009 16:53

HE SAID HE WOULD MORON! i bet your retarded liberal ass voted for him. oh yea, being a vegan makes your brain decompose. dead serious. have fun being a vegetable (pun intended).

Icalasari 0

Friday 19 June 2009 21:41

Which city do you live in? Because if it was my city, then FML for not being at Towerlane Mall when that happened!

delightmistress 0

Friday 19 June 2009 21:51

LOL!! That was an epic fail, but thanks for the laughs.

xiloveyoux3 0

Friday 19 June 2009 21:53

Wow, i know that would never work because even when i'm walking slowly, the automatic doors still take time to open.

justaquietghost 0

Friday 19 June 2009 21:59

Ouch, fyl. Thanks for the laugh though :) The newer ones are quick... but not THAT quick... or smart. At a marc's near my house, I have to stand on the pad (they're really old automatic doors) for five seconds before the first of the two opens...

hawkeye_pierce 0

Friday 19 June 2009 22:07

D'OH!

Pirate_argh 6

Friday 19 June 2009 22:22

Haha, made me laugh.. Can't believe you didn't realized that it was time to stop, before you hit the doors :b - But, congratulations on disprooving your brother! (see the glass half full, you know)

mehwhateverr 0

Friday 19 June 2009 22:26

Haha, I'd probably try that too. FYL.

anniesaysbueno 0

Friday 19 June 2009 22:28

are you just retarded?

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The Top

Today, after work, I was saying goodbye to my last remaining friend I worked with because she was going to be leaving for college. My manager saw me talking and made me clock back in and work, because, "If you have time to talk, you have time to work." FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 642

You deserved it 1 249

Today, my crush let me know that he has a prom date. Obviously I'm supportive because I just want him to be happy, even if it's not me. I casually let him know that I'm going with someone else too, and now he's really mad about it. If he'd asked me before, I would've said yes. Like… Hello? How dare I get a prom date! FML

I agree, your life sucks 474

You deserved it 98

The Top

Today, my daughter used the kids potty chair on her own for the first time. Bad: The bucket was not in it so poo hit the floor. Good: she tried to clean it... Bad: with her socks. Good: she decided to clean the socks. Bad: she used the wall. Good: she finally called dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 360

You deserved it 4 816

Today, I realised that the most kisses I ever get are in text messages from my Dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 000

You deserved it 4 131

Today, I left my phone outside on the grass while I went inside to get a drink. I didn't expect my dad to run over it with the lawn mower. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 863

You deserved it 28 366

Today, my mom held an intervention for me. Yesterday, I told her I'd tried pot once. Seven years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 422

You deserved it 5 790

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I agree, your life sucks 851

You deserved it 167

Today, I walked in on my grandfather smiling at his penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 189

You deserved it 5 239