Work: Today, my new boss asked me to handle a very difficult client,...

By Al Staten - 06/12/2016 22:03

Today, my new boss asked me to handle a very difficult client, warning me that, "He's kind of a dick." My accidental response? "That's fine, I'm great at handling dicks." FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 438

You deserved it 2 544

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 07/08/2015 14:27 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my boss at my new job described a client as "retarded". I corrected him with "mentally disabled". He smirked and replied "Whatever. Just explain things to her real slow. After all, she's 'mentally disabled'. And a woman." I need this job so bad that I'll have to just put up with this asshole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 692

You deserved it 3 632

Suck up

By Anonymous - 22/08/2015 06:58 - United States - Cadillac

Today, I showed up to my new job early, hoping to impress my new boss. When he arrived, he walked by me and muttered, "Fucking tryhard." FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 790

You deserved it 3 416

By :( - 06/06/2013 23:37 - United States

Today, at my new job at a funeral home, my boss threatened to fire me if I didn't "lighten the hell up" while dealing with our grieving clients. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 896

You deserved it 4 749

By Anonymous - 24/11/2010 19:34 - United States

Today, my boss sent me to a meeting with a client I've never met to do some damage control and renegotiate his contract. For two hours, he alternated between threatening to sue us, and making vulgar comments about raping me in his office. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 154

You deserved it 3 175

What were you thinking?

By Anonymous - 20/04/2016 10:04 - Australia - Brunswick

Today, I ran into a new guy at work who told me the regional manager was visiting today to evaluate the staff. I scoffed and said that everything I'd heard about the manager made him seem like a total prick. His reply? "Maybe, but I'm a prick who can FIRE people." FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 316

You deserved it 27 246

By very analytical - 26/06/2015 19:56 - United States - Ashland

Today, our outgoing boss told us about guy who's replacing him, saying he's very nice but very anal about things. Without thinking, I shrugged and said "Anal's not bad." Now everyone's calling me Anal-Girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 267

You deserved it 8 592

By Killmenow - 11/02/2009 14:08 - United Kingdom

Today, having just told me what a great job I've been doing and how he'd really like to start giving me some more responsibility, my boss asked me if I'd sharpen a couple of pencils for him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 729

You deserved it 2 773

Workplace etiquette

By Anonymous - 04/03/2024 15:00 - United States

Today, my new boss sat me down and told me he's seriously reconsidering my hire, all because I greeted him with, "Howdy, boss!" instead of, "Good morning, sir." Apparently this indicates a lack of respect for his authority. FML

I agree, your life sucks 404

You deserved it 452

By Anonymous - 17/03/2016 13:21 - Netherlands - Ottersum

Today, I got a heads-up that my boss suffered a death in the family, but was coming into work anyway. I thought he'd be depressed, but it seems he deals with grief with anger instead. I found that out when he yelled at me, threatening to rip my spine out my ass over a typo I made in a report. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 881

You deserved it 1 398

Storage wars

By ADayAtATime - 20/04/2024 06:00 - Australia - Wacol

Today, I brought my daughter to work with me. When we walked in, a client was blowing up at my boss, all because as my boss was walking past his storage unit, he glanced in and was about to compliment how neat it was. After my boss left, I had to deal with the aftermath, which left my daughter terrified of this man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 330

You deserved it 86

maharb01 17

Wednesday 7 December 2016 11:32

sometimes customers require hands on attention instead of just paying them lip service

Dave_Davington 33

Wednesday 7 December 2016 11:33

I'll bet you're an expert at beating them into submission. You have them submit all over your face like an absolute champ.

Comments

Shay_Shay97 23

Wednesday 7 December 2016 14:42

Cum on guys, enough with the puns

Dodge4x4Ram 46

Wednesday 7 December 2016 16:39

promotion right around the corner.

RichardPencil 30

Wednesday 7 December 2016 16:50

If he's a big enough dick, maybe your boss can give you a hand with the job.

cumminsncope 4

Wednesday 7 December 2016 17:28

Someone's hinting at the fact that they'll do anything for a promotion

JigglesGirl 19

Wednesday 7 December 2016 18:14

My old boss would've loved to hear me say that. :p

yerawizardlizzy 27

Wednesday 7 December 2016 18:57

Same haha.

afallingstar 22

Wednesday 7 December 2016 18:33

Are you? Could cum in hand in the future.

Jayroc 18

Wednesday 7 December 2016 19:47

That client sounds like a handful!!

pjsr 32

Thursday 8 December 2016 0:02

Isn't every guy an expert at handling dicks - well, at least one anyway?

Kira1965 23

Thursday 8 December 2016 7:48

Best. Response. Ever.

kaitieloo 22

Thursday 8 December 2016 15:16

I'm with you OP. Once, when I was meeting an ex's parents, we were talking about cars. Someone made a comment of a manual transmission, and I said "well, I can't drive a stick, but I sure can ride one!" Trying to indicate that I ride a motorcycle. Luckily they were so Christian and straight laced they didn't realize. I think.