Health: Today, my mum accused me of doing heroin because some teaspoons... - FML

By anti-drugs - 21/03/2011 10:57 - United Kingdom

Today, my mum accused me of doing heroin because some teaspoons had gone missing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 270

You deserved it 4 266

Mother's Day: Sweets and Bummers
Between disastrous breakfasts in bed and unusual gifts, Mother's Day is an inexhaustible source of laughter. More…

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 13/02/2016 05:14 - Canada - North Battleford

Today, my mother accused me of "cooking cocaine", after she found a slightly discoloured spoon in my room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 261

You deserved it 1 724

By MyLifeSucks - 15/04/2013 22:11 - United States - Houston

Today, my mother accused me of stealing pills; she looked all over my room and couldn't find them. When she went back to the pantry, she saw them on the shelf below where they were supposed to be. She then accused me of putting them there while she was searching my room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 993

You deserved it 2 804

By Anonymous - 22/01/2010 18:33 - Sweden

Today, I found my mom throwing my very expensive and important medication down the toilet. She thought I was doing drugs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 482

You deserved it 2 709

By cazorp - 05/01/2012 11:43 - United States

Today, my mom told me she's a drug addict, sold my bed to buy meth, and then lectured me about how I should be okay with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 404

You deserved it 2 463

One-upmanship championship

By Jan - 18/10/2013 06:13 - United States

Today, my mother topped someone's story of their child's problems by saying I'm on drugs. This resulted in people showing up to stage an intervention for me. She made the whole thing up and I've never used drugs, but no one believes me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 762

You deserved it 2 991

By tokinallday - 02/01/2015 19:23 - United States - Kingsport

Today, my mom and step-dad tore my room apart looking for the stash of drugs they thought I had. I've never touched drugs in my life, and I guess they believe me now. Didn't stop them from making me clean up the mess they made, though. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 356

You deserved it 2 499

By FFS - 06/05/2018 01:30

Today, my mother has taken her drug paranoia to a new level. She threw away an open but nearly full bag of dried mint because she's sure I emptied and refilled the bag with marijuana to hide it from her. She then tried to ground me in my own house in front of my wife and daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 586

You deserved it 351

Stashed

By Anonymous - 13/05/2022 00:01

Today, after my aunt died and left me everything, I found my heroin addict brother searching my house, demanding his share of the money. He thought I had it in cash, so I called the cops. Now our mom is mad at me because a good brother would have given him something. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 184

You deserved it 85

By Anonymous - 17/07/2015 22:24 - Canada - Sackville

Today, my crazy drug-addict mother kicked me out of the house after siding with my crazy, drug-addict aunt, who'd just threatened to slit my throat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 080

You deserved it 2 009

By Theo - 18/12/2009 06:52 - United States

Today, I came home to find my room completely torn apart. My mom and dad start yelling at me asking me why I am doing drugs because she found a tiny baggie on the floor. It was the little bag that spare buttons come in when you buy a dress shirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 911

You deserved it 2 230

Next

Top comments

memo619 0

Monday 21 March 2011 15:57

this is priceless :P my mom accused me of being gay because I accidentally slapped her bf's ass xD

JenL_fml 7

Monday 21 March 2011 15:54

Isn't heroin done through needles? o.O

Comments

chosha_fml 26

Monday 21 March 2011 16:13

#14 Or maybe it just wasn't that funny.

jsa92 0

Monday 21 March 2011 16:18

seems like an oddly sipfic accusation. your moms an addict

Mach10 0

Monday 21 March 2011 16:19

There is no spoon?

usmcFML4life 0

Monday 21 March 2011 16:19

FYL for having a heroine addicted mom

realfigueroa 1

Monday 21 March 2011 17:27

lol

fawkingAye 0

Tuesday 22 March 2011 14:56

37 fyl for being a motard.

kinga08 0

Monday 21 March 2011 16:21

Huh? I'm pretty sure not everything in her brain is wired correctly. I hate it when people, especially parents, assume the worst. Your mother's assumption however goes way beyond assuming the worst.

jess6blondie9 2

Monday 21 March 2011 17:32

They assume the worst because they don't want their kids doing dumb stuff,:)

liveaboveit 1

Monday 21 March 2011 18:31

but when they aren't doing the worst?? who looks like the assholes? the parents or the kid?

QueenOfBoredom 0

Monday 21 March 2011 22:02

it depends on if they assume the worst and their assumptions are correct or not .... didnt think of that now did you

Itstherealjen 0

Monday 21 March 2011 16:31

why your mom think you are using drugs.....?!

HesJustTheBest 0

Monday 21 March 2011 16:34

I'm sorry, tell your mother I had to borrow some spoons so that I could line them up, take pictures of them, and then use those pictures on the set of my movie. If you want them back you'll have to pay a hefty price because they have become quite a treasure now.

kritz0 10

Monday 21 March 2011 16:42

---

rattusrattus 18

Monday 21 March 2011 16:43

I'm trying to see the logical leap here... my brain hurts. You're mother's a paranoid, OP, or a bitch.

nerdsgetmehot 22

Monday 21 March 2011 16:52

Your mum is a wacko. Has she always been that paranoid? If so, I am truly sorry! :O

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The Top

Today, I started a sport journalism degree. I was the only woman out of 60 students. The lecturer started talking about how we should all aspire to become sports editors of national newspapers. Later, he said women have no chance of ever becoming sports editors. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 646

You deserved it 3 114

Today, my brother is staying over for a while. I thought I was prepared for this, but I totally forgot that he is inexplicably prone to having random nosebleeds. He's going through my Kleenex faster than a horny teenage boy left alone in his room. Time to hoard Kleenex like how people hoarded toilet paper in 2020. FML

I agree, your life sucks 280

You deserved it 67

The Top

Today, I was potty-training my nephew. He had been on the toilet for almost twenty minutes and could not go. My phone started ringing, and as I went to pick it up he knocked it into the toilet. He then peed and pooped on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 936

You deserved it 3 864

Today, I had to do community service work, so I helped out at a senior center. One of the confused elderly patients, who believed the Cold War was still on, thought I was a Soviet and started screaming about how I was going to nuke his country. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 915

You deserved it 4 061

Today, my mom insisted on putting sunscreen on me. I closed my eyes and shut my mouth while she rubbed some on my face. Halfway through, I burped. I opened my mouth just in time to get a large glob of sunscreen in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 627

You deserved it 36 461

Today, the girl I rejected caught me making out with this girl I like. I told her I was straight in order to avoid hurting her feelings instead of telling her I wasn’t attracted to her because she was obese. She loudly called me out for lying and burst into tears, and ran off making me look bad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 144

You deserved it 634

Today, I held a door open for my boyfriend and jokingly said, "Chivalry is dead?" He responded with, "Who's chivalry?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 247

You deserved it 7 861

Today, I had to calm my rather gullible boyfriend down and reassure him that the email he got, telling him that he has AIDS, was just a scam. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 687

You deserved it 4 366