Intimacy: Today, my mother came home from the grocery store with a 20kg...

By Danny - 07/01/2012 10:27 - Australia

Today, my mother came home from the grocery store with a 20kg bag of carrots, and nothing else. She then informed me that, for as long as my girlfriend and I keep 'going at it like rabbits', she would be feeding me like one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 788

You deserved it 44 294

May Day: Lily of the Valley and Misunderstandings
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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 16/08/2009 17:14 - United States

Today, my girlfriend named my penis "little baby carrot." FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 098

You deserved it 10 949

Knackered

By Anonymous - 25/11/2021 08:01

Today, when I got home from work exhausted and literally ready to fall over, my mom had me carry several heavy bags of dog food for her. Yesterday, it was coals; before that it was horse feed and gas bottles. Before that, I'd just asked her to keep the hard, physical work to the weekends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 859

You deserved it 212

Big Mac

By Raiden - 10/03/2013 16:03 - United Kingdom - Barnsley

Today, my girlfriend accused me of being a feeder, saying that's why she's been putting on so much weight. When I said it might be because she eats at McDonald's everyday, and that I was willing to start cooking low-calorie foods for us, she hit me. Then she went to McDonald's. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 574

You deserved it 5 331

TMI

By Autumn - 18/12/2017 01:30

Today, while discussing my vegetable garden, my father's new girlfriend announced that she loves vegetables in the bedroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 313

You deserved it 414

By mynameislor - 09/02/2010 14:26 - Canada

Today, my mum was saying she needs to gain weight because she was underweight according to her doctor. She then said she's going to eat like me in order to gain more weight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 230

You deserved it 7 418

By iGreen - 09/07/2011 14:34 - Canada

Today, my mom cooked her dog some potatoes, carrots, beef, rice and peas. She cooks better food for her dog than she will for our family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 537

You deserved it 3 616

By anonymous - 08/10/2011 20:40 - United States

Today, to keep me from "getting fatter", my roommate raided the kitchen. She ate everything from cookies and ice cream to deli meat. The only thing left in the house are vegetables. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 554

You deserved it 17 489

By preggo - 04/12/2009 00:02 - United States

Today, I asked my mom if she could include mashed potatoes and gravy with dinner. She then went on to yell at me about my "unhealthy eating habits" and how I've "gained a lot of weight in the past few months". I'm pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 984

You deserved it 4 186

By concernedson - 12/09/2010 11:34 - Australia

Today, while my mom was out, my family agreed upon the assumption that she has a "shopping problem." I argued against it for quite a while, until she pulled up minutes later with a what seemed like a life-time supply of canned condensed milk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 566

You deserved it 4 930

Meat

By ohmyx3 - 30/04/2009 02:09 - United States

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house. I've been a vegetarian for 4 years, and his mother made lasagna with meat in it. After telling her I don't eat meat, my boyfriend's father says "we know whose meat she does eat." My boyfriend, his mother, and I were standing right there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 75 609

You deserved it 10 061

Awahso 25

Saturday 7 January 2012 16:19

Okay, come on now. That's hilarious.

ICATiger 13

Saturday 7 January 2012 16:20

Tell her carrots make you horny.

Comments

buddyguyfriend 1

Saturday 7 January 2012 16:22

Awwww what's up doc?

sgenfkshe 5

Saturday 7 January 2012 16:24

Pics or it didn't happen. Lmao, JK. But your mom is hysterical.

ImmenseCabbage 0

Saturday 7 January 2012 16:24

Your mom is awesome. That's hilarious, I would be happy to oblige if I were you.

WhiteRangerKid 5

Saturday 7 January 2012 16:28

youre mom is awesome

japtch 15

Saturday 7 January 2012 18:48

Your*

MrSchneebly 5

Saturday 7 January 2012 19:23

I never thought id see this correction on here

Livelaughlove_12 0

Saturday 7 January 2012 16:29

carrots are good for you xD

bulbousbeak1995 0

Saturday 7 January 2012 16:30

Yummy carrots :)

borkchop1992 15

Saturday 7 January 2012 16:33

get a motel?

desireev 17

Saturday 7 January 2012 16:34

I'm so glad to know that I'm not the only human with a mother who would do something like that! Haha

Troll_spray 6

Saturday 7 January 2012 22:22

Considering that theres billions of humans i wouldnt even take that into thought.

desireev 17

Saturday 7 January 2012 23:34

Yeah.. It was just a comment stating that I'm glad I'm not the only person who has to deal with a parent like that. (Not that parents like that are bad) No need to be an ass about it. Now use some of that spray on yourself, Troll..