Intimacy: Today, my mother came home from the grocery store with a 20kg...

By Danny - 07/01/2012 10:27 - Australia

Today, my mother came home from the grocery store with a 20kg bag of carrots, and nothing else. She then informed me that, for as long as my girlfriend and I keep 'going at it like rabbits', she would be feeding me like one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 789

You deserved it 44 297

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 16/08/2009 17:14 - United States

Today, my girlfriend named my penis "little baby carrot." FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 100

You deserved it 10 949

Knackered

By Anonymous - 25/11/2021 08:01

Today, when I got home from work exhausted and literally ready to fall over, my mom had me carry several heavy bags of dog food for her. Yesterday, it was coals; before that it was horse feed and gas bottles. Before that, I'd just asked her to keep the hard, physical work to the weekends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 860

You deserved it 213

Big Mac

By Raiden - 10/03/2013 16:03 - United Kingdom - Barnsley

Today, my girlfriend accused me of being a feeder, saying that's why she's been putting on so much weight. When I said it might be because she eats at McDonald's everyday, and that I was willing to start cooking low-calorie foods for us, she hit me. Then she went to McDonald's. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 576

You deserved it 5 332

TMI

By Autumn - 18/12/2017 01:30

Today, while discussing my vegetable garden, my father's new girlfriend announced that she loves vegetables in the bedroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 315

You deserved it 414

By mynameislor - 09/02/2010 14:26 - Canada

Today, my mum was saying she needs to gain weight because she was underweight according to her doctor. She then said she's going to eat like me in order to gain more weight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 231

You deserved it 7 418

By iGreen - 09/07/2011 14:34 - Canada

Today, my mom cooked her dog some potatoes, carrots, beef, rice and peas. She cooks better food for her dog than she will for our family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 538

You deserved it 3 617

By anonymous - 08/10/2011 20:40 - United States

Today, to keep me from "getting fatter", my roommate raided the kitchen. She ate everything from cookies and ice cream to deli meat. The only thing left in the house are vegetables. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 556

You deserved it 17 491

By preggo - 04/12/2009 00:02 - United States

Today, I asked my mom if she could include mashed potatoes and gravy with dinner. She then went on to yell at me about my "unhealthy eating habits" and how I've "gained a lot of weight in the past few months". I'm pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 986

You deserved it 4 186

By concernedson - 12/09/2010 11:34 - Australia

Today, while my mom was out, my family agreed upon the assumption that she has a "shopping problem." I argued against it for quite a while, until she pulled up minutes later with a what seemed like a life-time supply of canned condensed milk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 568

You deserved it 4 933

Meat

By ohmyx3 - 30/04/2009 02:09 - United States

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house. I've been a vegetarian for 4 years, and his mother made lasagna with meat in it. After telling her I don't eat meat, my boyfriend's father says "we know whose meat she does eat." My boyfriend, his mother, and I were standing right there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 75 612

You deserved it 10 061

Awahso 25

Saturday 7 January 2012 16:19

Okay, come on now. That's hilarious.

ICATiger 13

Saturday 7 January 2012 16:20

Tell her carrots make you horny.

Comments

cheesendouche 1

Monday 9 January 2012 13:34

mother ****** win !!!!!!

bio87haz 1

Monday 9 January 2012 16:42

That's kickass. I say go mom on this one

sat123 12

Monday 9 January 2012 17:38

Make a tray of ice cubes, and tell her that as long as she continues being frigid, that's all she gets to eat.

hyden121 2

Monday 9 January 2012 18:39

Someone is jealous...

MrBrightsidexvi 6

Monday 9 January 2012 19:03

Gigady, I'd be proud. To have people notice how vigorous you are is an achievement.

meesa 0

Monday 9 January 2012 23:24

awesome. I agree ^__^

supersexyme 0

Tuesday 10 January 2012 0:03

Lol

michaelZ06 0

Tuesday 10 January 2012 2:31

looks like it's bk to waking it for u buddy

lyle125 0

Tuesday 10 January 2012 6:57

Are you sure it was not your boyfriend and the carrots were not for eating, right away at least

woopdattrick 5

Tuesday 10 January 2012 8:53

Pwned by your own Mother.

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You deserved it 2 888

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I agree, your life sucks 32 241

You deserved it 3 935

Same thing different taste

Knackered

Big Mac

TMI

Meat

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