Intimacy: Today, my mom tried giving me the sex talk. Her version of "the...

By ReallyMom - 09/01/2014 21:48 - United States - Shawano

Today, my mom tried giving me the sex talk. Her version of "the talk" consisted of making me watch videos of guys jacking off and reassuring me that "it's natural." FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 675

You deserved it 5 202

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 23/02/2012 20:25 - United States

Today, my mom tried to give me the sex talk, while I was mounting my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 811

You deserved it 37 514

By more than I wanted to know - 13/05/2013 19:10 - Italy - San Giustino

Today, my dad sat me down for the sex talk, except it wasn't really a talk, but rather him making me watch a hardcore porn video with him as he commented on what the actors were doing. I had to listen to all this and ignore his obvious erection for almost an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 85 176

You deserved it 5 863

By PPP - 28/04/2015 15:05 - United States

Today, I overheard my mom giving my 6-year-old daughter the sex talk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 651

You deserved it 3 327

Don't wanna know

By Anonymous - 16/02/2011 05:50

Today, my dad gave me the dreaded sex talk, but he got sidetracked and started talking about how good my mum was in bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 187

You deserved it 4 177

By CallaC - 15/03/2012 02:01 - Canada

Today, my dad sat me down for the sex talk. Almost before he could open his mouth, my mother popped her head into the room and said, "Be realistic, Dan. Who would want to sleep with that?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 488

You deserved it 2 883

You sure this is the right time?

By KidCudi227 - 19/07/2011 05:42 - United States

Today, my mom gave me the "birds and the bees" talk, while she was taking a dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 829

You deserved it 3 392

By confused_girl - 01/08/2013 05:10 - United States - Cedar Rapids

Today, I got the sex talk from my dad. It wouldn't have been so bad if he hadn't said, "It's not the size of the stick, it's how you use it." I'm a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 382

You deserved it 5 037

Thanks mom

By Anonymous - 14/02/2021 14:01 - Colombia

Today, my mom decided it was a good idea to remind me about my non-existent sex life while all the family was having dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 022

You deserved it 105

By Anonymous - 18/07/2009 17:15 - United States

Today, my mom gave me a talk on safe sex. During a three hour car ride. With my friends in the back seat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 067

You deserved it 3 887

You what?

By unknown - 02/11/2013 21:10 - Canada - Courtenay

Today, I sat down with my daughter to have the sex talk, because she recently started seeing a guy. I mentioned at one point how disappointed I would be if she got pregnant. She went wide-eyed and asked, "Didn't mom tell you?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 498

You deserved it 6 891

Dinoporeon 9

Friday 10 January 2014 11:50

That is NOT the sex talk. Your mom made you watch creepy ****.

joea21 21

Friday 10 January 2014 11:51

Better than her making sure you're using proper technique.

Comments

an3ph 20

Saturday 11 January 2014 8:31

Well… it is natural, but NO ONE should have to watch it. On behalf of all us Jacks everywhere, I am sorry.

cmac86 23

Saturday 11 January 2014 11:01

I'm kind of curious how she got the videos. did she film them herself, is she a **** connoisseur, or does she have a really kinky/creepy collection?

Fotch2013 4

Monday 13 January 2014 2:29

but I bet you stay away from guys for a ling time. which is exactly what she wants

xsilentxninjax 10

Thursday 13 February 2014 14:01

Ewwwww

Winterfell_fml 8

Thursday 22 May 2014 11:32

My friends mum just made him watch ****

SuperAwesomeMane 10

Monday 14 July 2014 7:31

THAT should be on American Pie lol

Addiction333 14

Saturday 6 February 2016 21:15

I think this calls for some hands on experience.

Iamentertained 13

Wednesday 13 April 2016 21:29

The ****?

Keywords

Growing old Mental health Relatable Health Embarrassing Periods Work Job interview Awkward Education Social Media Stalker Instagram Love Spiders Ironic Phobias Animals Transportation Bikes Ecology Parents Confused Kids Weird Drunk AITA Poopoo peepee Geek Facebook

The Top

Today, I meant to express to my friends that I was enamored with a young saleswoman I had encountered at a store. I wanted to tell them that she was quite petite and that I am, in general, attracted to petite women. Instead I said, "You know? I like little girls." FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 359

You deserved it 61 100

Today, I lost all hope of finding a man. I’m gonna be 34 and I can’t get a date to save my life. I was cursed with a facial deformity and 285lbs of weight, making all men run for the hills. All of my younger sisters have got married and started families. FML

I agree, your life sucks 427

You deserved it 209

The Top

Today, I was out clubbing. My girlfriend went to get us drinks, so I danced alone while I waited. Some girl with hideous meth mouth, who was clearly tripping balls, started harassing and groping me and got all three of us kicked out when my girlfriend returned and beat the hell out of her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 525

You deserved it 3 188

Today, I got into the shower with my glasses on by mistake. I spent 5 minutes convinced that the fog in my vision was me going blind. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 276

You deserved it 9 338

Today, at my softball game, there was one spot left for center field. The coach had to choose between me or the girl who forgot her glasses and was blind without them. He chose her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 903

You deserved it 4 865

Today, my husband left me for a girl who seems to have a mental age of 12, because she'll smoke meth with him, and I won't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 183

You deserved it 106

Today, I told my best friend I was breaking up with my girlfriend of 3 years. He thought it would be funny to tell her I was going to propose to her that night. She showed up telling me how much she loves me and that when we get married how great it will be. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 120

You deserved it 7 098

Today, I went to the beach. While I was swimming, I noticed a few really hot guys passing. Trying to be sexy, I slowly got out of the water, showing off my body. I showed a bit more than I expected when I realized my bikini bottom had fallen off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 384

You deserved it 39 496