Intimacy: Today, my husband yelled from upstairs, "Babe! BABE, COME QUICK!"...

By -____- - 05/10/2013 21:28 - United States - Seattle

Today, my husband yelled from upstairs, "Babe! BABE, COME QUICK!" Terrified that something might have happened to our newborn daughter, I rushed up, only to find out he just wanted to show me that he'd learned how to spin a top on the tip of his penis without it falling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 333

You deserved it 7 416

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Same thing different taste

By anne - 17/12/2011 03:46 - United States

Today, my husband called me to the bedroom to show me something. This "something" was him demonstrating his seemingly well-trained ability to accurately type out a sentence on my phone using nothing but his erect penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 853

You deserved it 5 996

By chewybarseventy - 24/08/2010 06:17 - United States

Today, I came home to see my husband talking to his penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 488

You deserved it 11 066

By KittyKat - 03/11/2013 14:22 - United Kingdom - Milton Keynes

Today, my husband was getting undressed. I told my 2-year-old daughter not to go in our bedroom because he was undressing in there. I turned my back and she instantly ran off to my bedroom. I heard her shout "I can see daddy's tail!" Now, she points to everyone's crotch and shouts "TAIL!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 934

You deserved it 7 084

Who taught him

By Redbeard - 24/01/2020 05:00

Today, while we had my husband's boss over, my 3-year-old son decided to burst into the living room naked and yell, "Mum, look! Penis!" and wiggle it around. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 175

You deserved it 366

Hey there!

By LadyLola - 25/11/2013 05:22 - United States - Dayton

Today, my mom visited. While she was using the bathroom, my man-child of a husband thought it would be funny to knock on the bathroom door with his penis, thinking it was me in there. She opened the door to find him standing there doing the "helicopter". FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 844

You deserved it 6 641

My little buddy

By Anonymous - 18/08/2009 05:37 - United States

Today, I walked in on my husband in our room completely naked. At first I thought he was waiting for me so we could have sex. He hadn't seen me yet, so I started to undress too to surprise him. Then I saw that he had drawn a face on his penis and he was talking to it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 80 102

You deserved it 6 492

By fmlalways - 22/01/2011 13:00 - United Kingdom

Today, whilst having sex, my husband screamed out a man's name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 759

You deserved it 5 146

By WOCOACH - 09/09/2009 19:33 - United States

Today, I woke up to my 8 month old son happy as can be. I could hear him laughing over the monitor. When I walked into the room, he had somehow got his diaper off and was holding onto his new found penis. He thought it was hysterical when it went off and shot urine everywhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 888

You deserved it 5 038

By Anonymous - 22/06/2009 23:41 - United States

Today, my husband and I were getting it on when we heard a little giggle. I put on my robe and looked outside my room to find that no one was there. So we continued. I later called my seven year old son and out he came crawling from under the bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 379

You deserved it 11 781

Peek a boo

By Anonymous - 08/05/2014 02:31 - United States - Tampa

Today, my husband and I put our children to bed a little earlier than usual, so we could have some sexy time. Immediately following my full-blown orgasm, I rolled over, only to see my wide-eyed son peeking over the top of the mattress. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 040

You deserved it 16 158

thatonetree 9

Sunday 6 October 2013 2:26

That is a pretty impressive skill. You gotta give it to him

ABillOnFire 15

Sunday 6 October 2013 2:27

it's reasons like this we were placed on this planet

Comments

Tessa_11 19

Sunday 6 October 2013 5:21

Hahhaha that's awesome.

jwa2000 3

Sunday 6 October 2013 5:22

You can't top that!

honeymoonroyale 20

Sunday 6 October 2013 5:32

Lol mad props to dude, though.

perdix 29

Sunday 6 October 2013 5:52

There is something wrong with your newborn daughter: she'll never get to see that awesome trick. And if she does, yuck!

nickmen 3

Sunday 6 October 2013 6:23

That's actually pretty impressive

jrock9093 18

Sunday 6 October 2013 6:44

Okay impressive

conqueror57 11

Sunday 6 October 2013 6:52

How many men of FML went out and bought a top today??

junkman6 22

Sunday 6 October 2013 6:53

I have to ask. Am I the only guy on here that is contemplating trying this? I am? Ok I'll stop now.

mustabee 5

Monday 7 October 2013 2:39

word of advice, whatever u do, DONT. WATCH. WRESTLING or any kungfu movie for that matter!

Tijenai 5

Sunday 6 October 2013 7:26

...Oooowwwww.

Cazz91 21

Sunday 6 October 2013 8:03

Am I the only one mildly curious if the husband may make a video to show off? I admit, I would watch it. I wouldn't believe it until I saw it. For some reason I can see that possibly turning into a **** flick.