By everyonesdivorced - 02/10/2009 16:47 - Iraq

Today, my husband of five years told me he's leaving me and will be gone when I return from Iraq. When I told him I love him and asked him not to go, he said he won't file divorce papers just yet, but he's moving out-of-state because "we need time apart." I've been gone for most of the year. FML
I agree, your life sucks 47 583
You deserved it 3 175
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Top comments

BurlyWurly 0

You need to hurry up and divorce him ASAP - you can't fix douchebag, and if you convince him not to leave you now, he'll probably just wind up hanging around for a few for more years before he really does leave you, except by then you'll have been married long enough for him to be entitled to a percentage of your retirement that you're earning in Iraq right now.

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Comments

loooooooooool_fml 1

You people are jumping on the husbands case waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too much. Seriously, so he wants a divorce. He probably doesn't love her anymore to make that decision. Is he a douchebag for that? No, he isn't. And let's not assume that he cheated on her, there's not enough information to make these kind of assumptions. Just get over it and move on. It'll be hard, but it must be done.

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ArmyNurse 0

No, he's not a douchebag for wanting out of the marriage. He a total douchebag for the way he's doing it. When we deploy, we depend completely on our partners to keep us grounded, to take care of our lives while we are away. Is that a lot to ask? No, not from a spouse. The last thing we need is distraction. Distraction leads to mistakes. Mistakes lead to death. He could have waited till she redeployed. So what if he had someone and wanted to run around and play single. He could have waited to drop that bombshell till she was safely back home. He hates her. That makes him a douchebag.

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Jimboom 11

She never said anything about hating him. Just that he wouldn't be there when he gets back. And why is this all about her anyway? What about the guy? His spouse gone for ages at a time, not knowing if your going to get woken up with a phone call telling you that the person you loves remains are being shipped back to you. Perhaps he couldn't handle that and the uncertainty of it all. This is a lot to put on someone, asking them to stay behind at home while they go off to war. So why is he the bad guy in all this? Should he just wait there and then stay in a loveless marriage just because deploying is such a hard thing and she wants his support? If so then she should get a dog, there is more chances of them waiting around for you.

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syienna 0

Then he shouldn't be married to a military person. Deployment is part of the deal and something that should be discussed before marriage. If you can not wait for your spouse to return then you should not be a military spouse. It takes a strong bunch to handle that. And no I do not think it is asking a lot to expect your spouse to wait while you are deployed. If they can not handle a year deployment while they are out laying their life on the line for our country, then how are they going to be able to handle any other difficulties through life together?

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tisiphone_fml 0

Well said, Armynurse. Male or female, we're counting on our family and friends back home to hold things together while we're deployed. An emotional distraction of any sort is bad news in a combat zone, and her husband should have known what he was getting himself into. Hang in there, OP, and best of luck. You'll find a better man.

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Carly999 0

wowwwwww He's a douche. He couldn't even be man enough to work things out when you got home...

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Trix017 0

@95 - You're an idiot. You don't just stop loving someone because they spent time in Iraq. And you don't just leave someone for no reason, that is why people assume he was cheating on her because he PROBABLY WAS. He's obviously a douche because he did nothing to try and fix the problems in the relationship. He was unhappy and instead of trying to fix it he just left the state. I was in the military for 6 years and I found this to be an all too common occurrence; that is why I told myself I would never marry while I was in the military unless the circumstances were perfect. Which they never were. I also used to give the "if you really love her, wait a year" speech to new guys in the military. When I was 19. This shit is common sense and I really don't understand how people don't get it. If you really, really, love someone, waiting at least a year before marrying someone is almost always the best choice. Or even longer. There's almost never a good reason not to do so. The fmler probably made this mistake, because most people that marry in the military, do so right after they get out of boot camp/tech school to their high school sweetheart so they can move off base and get more money every month because they're married. And not to mention all the time spent apart from each other during deployments. Hmm.... I wonder why military marriages don't work out.

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syienna 0

I would definitely remove him from your insurance and revoke the PoAs you might have given him. I am sorry that you are having to deal with this during deployment if that is why you are there. Thank you for your service. My husband is deployed right now as well. Be safe.

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ArmyNurse 0

Some wait - some don't. The ones who don't will never be capable of providing you the love you deserve. The ones who do are the ones you want to build a life with, the ones you want to father your children. Your next step should be stopping all communication with that a$$hat. Get to your JAG officer IMMEDIATELY!!! I don't know what kinds of assests you had, but he can sell your home, car, household items, EVERYTHING and be completely within his rights. THAT'S why he doesn't want to start divorce proceedings. Right now, he has your steady paycheck, military healthcare and access to everything. You need legal protection. Yesterday.

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lblondie95 0

just leave him. obviously you're a way better person than he is considering your serving your country and he wants to get out of a marriage the easy way. sorry

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zedolor 0

to hell with that asshole. I'll be here for you !

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ari_malasuerte 0

Wow i am so sorry. You deserve someone better anyways.

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SickOfThisScene 0

sorry to hear that. you'll find someone better!!! just let him go, you'll find someone better that'll ALWAYS be there for YOU no matter what!!! Thanks for serving our country!! you are a hero!! Tell all the soldiers I said thanks, too!!

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