Health: Today, my husband and I are both suffering from food poisoning....

By AW - 10/01/2011 12:48

Today, my husband and I are both suffering from food poisoning. He has horrible, raging, rank smelling, explosive diarrhea; I am vomiting every 15 minutes. We have one bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 650

You deserved it 3 034

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Same thing different taste

By shroooms - 28/07/2011 20:37 - Slovenia

Today, my entire family, myself included, has been turned into a collective diarrhea fountain after going out to eat. We only have one bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 722

You deserved it 3 070

By Anonymous - 12/02/2013 18:43 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I both developed food poisoning from last night's sushi. Our apartment has one bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 303

You deserved it 3 317

By fuuuuuh - 20/07/2012 05:47 - United States - Santa Cruz

Today, my family of five and I decided to have homemade sushi. We did not prepare the fish correctly, and now we all have excruciating food poisoning. The worst part? We only have one bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 792

You deserved it 30 918

By I stink - 18/12/2018 15:30

Today, my boyfriend and I were finally able to settle on having a day out together after putting it off for months because of work/other random reasons. This morning I woke up with the worst case of diarrhea I’ve ever had in my life. I won’t be leaving the bathroom anytime soon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 348

You deserved it 225

By Anonymous - 13/10/2012 11:37 - United States

Today, while my husband and I are both stuck in the bathroom from food poisoning, our 3-year-old son is taking advantage of his freedom. All I can hear is banging noises and wild laughter. I'm afraid to leave the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 164

You deserved it 2 767

Food for thought

By that’s what you get - 05/08/2020 17:02

Today, I warned my husband not to eat the seafood he'd left on the counter. He insisted it was fine. He’s now been in the bathroom shitting, puking and wailing for three hours. Our place is tiny and the bathroom is attached to our bedroom. The door doesn’t keep out the noise or the rancid smell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 953

You deserved it 182

By Anonymous - 16/04/2016 07:16 - United States - Roscoe

Today, my 3 year-old woke up with diarrhea. The stench caused him to throw up. My husband started sympathy puking all over the floor. I'm so exhausted already that I'm considering just burning the damn house down to avoid cleaning it all up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 786

You deserved it 1 665

Thank you for your service

By Auburn_flame - 27/03/2019 00:00

Today, I've been horribly sick with a stomach virus. Six hours ago, I asked my husband to go to the store and get me a few things that would help ease my misery. He's still in bed and I'm cleaning the house in between bouts of vomiting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 496

You deserved it 356

Hilarious

By Anonymous - 01/02/2012 20:21 - United States

Today, my morning sickness has been so bad that my husband's farts send me running to the bathroom. He thinks it's hilarious, and has been following me around all day trying to crack one off in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 271

You deserved it 4 006

By shattysituation - 31/12/2012 22:36 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I decided to try a new place to eat. On our way home we both had upset stomachs. As we raced into the house we realized neither of us could hold it any longer. Having only one bathroom, I let her go first. She exploded on the toilet and I exploded in my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 380

You deserved it 4 049

Zmeilerr 22

Monday 10 January 2011 19:02

Use a bucket.

spazticechidna 2

Monday 10 January 2011 19:02

Vomit in the kitchen sink instead.

Comments

xoingly 0

Sunday 16 January 2011 15:56

just puke in the sink.

higgy6969 7

Sunday 16 January 2011 21:31

smothered and covered equals scattered and splattered

benchoko2 0

Monday 17 January 2011 7:19

VOMIT OUTSIDE!!!!!!!!! just do it like behind a tree or something

ronniewciv 3

Tuesday 18 January 2011 10:28

he uses the toilet while u use a trash can how hard is that to figure out?

FMLcommenterGIRL 0

Thursday 21 April 2011 1:22

Vomit in the food processor in your kitchen.

Krisha90 0

Friday 13 May 2011 15:14

Exposive diarrhea, those two words always make me giggly hysterically!!!

WhitneyRuinous 6

Friday 17 June 2011 9:37

Could you not vomit into a trash can?

LadyDeadPool 3

Monday 29 August 2011 23:18

Omg I never laughed so hard on fml XD

atlanta_lex 0

Friday 7 October 2011 6:26

Well you must feel ok enough to pause your vomiting and post about it on fmylife..... ..dumbass.

fatcow282 8

Wednesday 20 June 2012 17:57

Lol that really sucks be happy it least there different symtoms my dad had both from food poisening imagine that with2 people and 1 bathroom

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Same thing different taste

Food for thought

Thank you for your service

Hilarious

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