Miscellaneous: Today, my house got egged. Why? As a joke, my friend bought me...

By socialdisease - 22/08/2011 15:58 - United States

Today, my house got egged. Why? As a joke, my friend bought me a doormat that says, "A Canadian Lives Here." I'm Canadian. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 792

You deserved it 5 106

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Same thing different taste

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By ehxtraordinarily pissed - 13/12/2014 18:36 - United States - Coweta

Today, my Canadian friend is staying a few days at my parents' house. I drove him from the airport, only to find my idiot dad had decked the spare room out with maple syrup bottles. He keeps saying "Eh" all the time and asked "What's he so upset aboot?" when my friend was offended. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 026

You deserved it 3 390

By skichick54 - 24/08/2011 05:28 - United States

Today, my house got watermeloned. Not egged, watermeloned. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 287

You deserved it 3 730

By eggs - 28/02/2009 06:30 - Canada

Today, while at work at my grocery store I sold a TON of eggs to a bunch of kids. We joked around that they were "going to bake a giant cake." When I got home I found out someone had egged my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 392

You deserved it 9 206

By Anonymous - 16/02/2017 06:00 - United States - Frederick

Today, I didn't think getting egged was a thing anymore until I found that my car got egged. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 315

You deserved it 440

By Noname - 18/01/2009 00:52 - Canada

Today, my house got egged and since it is the winter the eggs froze. They used two dozen eggs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 400

You deserved it 2 186

The clichés are real

By Krish Kochar - 08/11/2022 10:00 - Canada

Today, I've been living in Canada for past two years, and my friend from the States came to visit. He was talking about how Canadians are so polite, but I was in total denial, that he didn't know anything. While I was arguing with him, a guy in front of us walked into a pole, then apologized to it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 289

You deserved it 858

By egged - 01/10/2009 06:43 - Singapore

Today, I came home from work and found my house egged, and bricks thrown through my windows. I called the police, and submitted a report. Later that night, I heard the doorbell ring. Nobody was at the house, but there was a note saying "Sorry, wrong house". FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 152

You deserved it 2 261

By Queensland - 18/10/2014 07:20 - Australia

Today, I woke up to find "Fuck you, Harry" painted on my car. Harry's my neighbour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 098

You deserved it 2 575

Dad jokes

By thefuck - 30/06/2013 22:08 - Ireland - Ballyjamesduff

Today, my house was egged while I went out shopping. When I told my dad about it, he immediately and casually admitted to being the one who did it, asking, "You got a fucking problem with that, son?" I don't know if he's just messing with my head, or if he really did do it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 934

You deserved it 3 667

By Anonymous - 11/07/2011 07:42 - Australia

Today, I got home from work to find my house covered in graffiti dicks, the windows smashed, the front lawn entirely ripped up, and my letter box containing dog shit. I also found a note taped to the door saying, "Suck on this Darren". Darren is my next door neighbor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 582

You deserved it 3 283

eminemchick 19

Monday 22 August 2011 19:03

What?! But you guys have nice bacon!

Pinguini26 6

Monday 22 August 2011 19:04

What the hell! Canadians rule!

Comments

jake7787 0

Monday 22 August 2011 19:06

Brayden, is that you...

po_tay_toe 0

Monday 22 August 2011 19:07

I think Canadians are awesome!! I don't get why they would be egged!!!:)

kcTheGreatOne 2

Monday 22 August 2011 19:08

there's your sign... jus sayin

narcosoldier 2

Monday 22 August 2011 19:09

Scrambled egg with some candian bacon

misashleigh88 5

Monday 22 August 2011 19:12

We have awesome bacon and poutine!! Soo yummy :)

jasminea 0

Monday 22 August 2011 19:13

wow

YoungShady 0

Monday 22 August 2011 19:13

Without Canadians, tree would be no drake no dgrassi or good bacon

hahalaughing 0

Monday 22 August 2011 19:19

and youre so perfect? didnt think so! im an american who could sure as hell kick your ass!

pigrhino 0

Monday 22 August 2011 19:15

Well that's rude

xxgigixx 1

Monday 22 August 2011 19:15

Lml wow smh .

beebeeL 1

Monday 22 August 2011 19:18

Americans are so stupid & fat. But your healthcare sucks that's why its free.

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Today, I went indoor rock climbing with my uncle and his 5 year-old girl. I'm about halfway up the hardest ascent when my arm cramps up. As I stretched my arm, my cousin yells up at me in her tiny voice, "Prove you're a man and climb that wall!" I fell off. I was emasculated by a 5 year-old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 608

You deserved it 5 760

Today, my best friend got a new boyfriend. She asked him what he wanted for his upcoming birthday, and he said he just wanted to hang out with her and watch a movie or two. I thought it was sweet, so I asked my boyfriend what he would like for his upcoming birthday. He said a blow job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 183

You deserved it 47 587

The Top

Today, I was in the checkout line at Foodmax around 11:30pm. Three girls behind me were buying Tequila, salt and some limes. I was buying frozen pizza and some toilet paper. They were going to an awesome party. I was going home to eat pizza by myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 798

You deserved it 8 343

Today, I'm a 22 year-old guy with a 11:00 pm curfew. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 320

You deserved it 16 406

Today, I babysat for my neighbor's brat kid. The mom gave me $15 for 5 hours. I complained to my mom when I got home because last time I got $15/hour. Turns out my mom had told my neighbor that she thought they'd paid me too much last time. Thanks mom. Thanks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 368

You deserved it 2 013

Today, I found an enormous raccoon in my backyard. After a couple of nasty scratches, I finally managed to capture the filthy animal. After calling animal control to relocate it, I waited for hours to learn that "relocating" actually means releasing it into my front yard 10 feet away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 777

You deserved it 4 651

Today, I finished reading a manga series on a website I go on all the time. As I read the last page I got a huge celebratory message from the website saying I was the first one to read every manga on their site. The website opened in 2011 and has over 30,000 manga. My God, I need a social life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 013

You deserved it 6 953

Today, my mother insisted I thoroughly water all the plants in and around my house before some people turned up. This would be fine except 90% of them are fake. She is convinced it will make them look "realer." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 301

You deserved it 3 064

Same thing different taste

Elaborate

The clichés are real

Dad jokes

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