Intimacy: Today, my girlfriend jumped, naked, onto my computer desk, with... - FML

By kneesarethenewdesk - 19/08/2009 22:38 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend jumped, naked, onto my computer desk, with the intention of having sex on it. A new, £250 computer desk, broken beyond repair. And we didn't even have sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 309

You deserved it 7 685

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Same thing different taste

Seventh heaven

By Egyptian ToyBoy - 17/12/2019 20:00

Spicy

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. She had such an uncontrollable, aggressive orgasm that I'd be celebrating my efforts, if only in the process she hadn't knocked over my new expensive laptop, which then split in half. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 860

You deserved it 462

By Anonymous - 13/12/2009 08:39 - United States

Spicy

Today, I came home and saw my girlfriend on the computer. I decided to sex things up and sneak up on her naked from behind. Apparently, she was video-chatting with her friends at the time. They saw everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 950

You deserved it 25 271

By burb - 25/09/2013 19:23 - Germany - Berlin

Today, I invited my new girlfriend over for the first time. My roommate thought it would be funny to go on a porn site on my computer and leave it up. She saw it, freaked out, slapped me, and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 016

You deserved it 3 880

By Crawling - 25/10/2008 16:56

Today, my girlfriend came over to my place, looking drop dead gorgeous. However, she preferred the idea of sleeping, and here I am on my laptop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 036

You deserved it 10 236

By Anonymous - 22/12/2010 13:09 - United States

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Instead of having breakup sex, she tidied my room. She said it gave her more pleasure than any time we'd ever had sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 105

You deserved it 13 993

By picaboo - 10/08/2009 16:41 - Singapore

Spicy

Today, I bought a new computer. I gave my old one to my mother. After handing it over and going home, I realised I forgot to change the background picture, a naked photo of my girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 084

You deserved it 68 379

By Anon - 05/12/2009 14:19 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend and I decided to try cybersex, because we rarely see each other these days. We only used text. Halfway through, I noticed that she started being more demanding. As it turns out, my girlfriend had left the room and her older brother had walked in and taken over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 225

You deserved it 17 247

Hello everyone!

By Anonymous - 18/04/2020 08:00

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I were sexting, and he asked me if I would be naked and waiting for him when he got home. When he told me he was on his way, I took my clothes off and got into bed. What he didn’t tell me was he was bringing friends to pick up a desk from our place for their office. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 065

You deserved it 354

Haters Gonna Hate

By apparentlyweird - 28/08/2018 22:00

Today, my dad's new girlfriend's daughter came over with them. She had a tantrum because my brand new computer, which I worked and saved for, was better than her notebook, which was bought for her. So what did she do? Oh, she threw it off my desk. For some reason I'm being yelled at. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 024

You deserved it 229

By Anonymous - 18/07/2013 19:01 - Netherlands - Herkenbosch

Spicy

Today, I tried coming on to my fiancé. He just pushed me off and got out of bed, saying he wasn't in the mood. A half hour later, I caught him jerking off to several windows of porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 464

You deserved it 6 664

Next

Top comments

marinja 0

Thursday 20 August 2009 1:27

apparenly your computer desk isn't the only thing that's 250 pounds...

xiambam 4

Thursday 20 August 2009 1:11

Eh, at least she had good intentions. : lol

Comments

mopho 0

Thursday 20 August 2009 6:43

You have a horny girlfriend. No, your life does NOT suck, dude. My life sucks. :(

shootingstar8D 0

Thursday 20 August 2009 6:55

Weren't you expecting that from a fat chick?

shoshizzle 0

Thursday 20 August 2009 6:56

To all of the idiots claiming that the OP's girlfriend is fat, like many have said, jumping INCREASES your weight by a whole lot at the moment you are landing. So don't assume.

Ozmat 0

Thursday 20 August 2009 7:01

YDI for dating a fat chick.

Ozmat 0

Thursday 20 August 2009 7:01

YDI for dating a fat chick.

noncomposmentis 6

Thursday 20 August 2009 7:35

It means 你活该。

nodbor 11

Thursday 20 August 2009 7:47

Get a replacement, then see if you can exchange the desk for a new one.

xoxcinderellaxox 0

Thursday 20 August 2009 8:05

ydi for choosing to date a fattie.

CircusofValues 0

Thursday 20 August 2009 8:11

Jumping on the desk is ******* stupid. But then again, willing sex is not. So yeah, your life is ******, but not entirely.

JohnyJackhammer 0

Thursday 20 August 2009 8:41

This is not an FML, learn to appreciate your girl, you british ****! She wanted to please you. Otherwise, just say goodbye and ship her my way haha

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Keywords

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