Intimacy: Today, my girlfriend jumped, naked, onto my computer desk, with... - FML

By kneesarethenewdesk - 19/08/2009 22:38 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend jumped, naked, onto my computer desk, with the intention of having sex on it. A new, £250 computer desk, broken beyond repair. And we didn't even have sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 309

You deserved it 7 685

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
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Same thing different taste

Seventh heaven

By Egyptian ToyBoy - 17/12/2019 20:00

Spicy

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. She had such an uncontrollable, aggressive orgasm that I'd be celebrating my efforts, if only in the process she hadn't knocked over my new expensive laptop, which then split in half. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 860

You deserved it 462

By Anonymous - 13/12/2009 08:39 - United States

Spicy

Today, I came home and saw my girlfriend on the computer. I decided to sex things up and sneak up on her naked from behind. Apparently, she was video-chatting with her friends at the time. They saw everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 950

You deserved it 25 271

By burb - 25/09/2013 19:23 - Germany - Berlin

Today, I invited my new girlfriend over for the first time. My roommate thought it would be funny to go on a porn site on my computer and leave it up. She saw it, freaked out, slapped me, and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 016

You deserved it 3 880

By Crawling - 25/10/2008 16:56

Today, my girlfriend came over to my place, looking drop dead gorgeous. However, she preferred the idea of sleeping, and here I am on my laptop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 036

You deserved it 10 236

By Anonymous - 22/12/2010 13:09 - United States

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Instead of having breakup sex, she tidied my room. She said it gave her more pleasure than any time we'd ever had sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 105

You deserved it 13 993

By picaboo - 10/08/2009 16:41 - Singapore

Spicy

Today, I bought a new computer. I gave my old one to my mother. After handing it over and going home, I realised I forgot to change the background picture, a naked photo of my girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 084

You deserved it 68 379

By Anon - 05/12/2009 14:19 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend and I decided to try cybersex, because we rarely see each other these days. We only used text. Halfway through, I noticed that she started being more demanding. As it turns out, my girlfriend had left the room and her older brother had walked in and taken over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 225

You deserved it 17 247

Hello everyone!

By Anonymous - 18/04/2020 08:00

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I were sexting, and he asked me if I would be naked and waiting for him when he got home. When he told me he was on his way, I took my clothes off and got into bed. What he didn’t tell me was he was bringing friends to pick up a desk from our place for their office. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 065

You deserved it 354

Haters Gonna Hate

By apparentlyweird - 28/08/2018 22:00

Today, my dad's new girlfriend's daughter came over with them. She had a tantrum because my brand new computer, which I worked and saved for, was better than her notebook, which was bought for her. So what did she do? Oh, she threw it off my desk. For some reason I'm being yelled at. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 024

You deserved it 229

By Anonymous - 18/07/2013 19:01 - Netherlands - Herkenbosch

Spicy

Today, I tried coming on to my fiancé. He just pushed me off and got out of bed, saying he wasn't in the mood. A half hour later, I caught him jerking off to several windows of porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 464

You deserved it 6 664

Next

Top comments

marinja 0

Thursday 20 August 2009 1:27

apparenly your computer desk isn't the only thing that's 250 pounds...

xiambam 4

Thursday 20 August 2009 1:11

Eh, at least she had good intentions. : lol

Comments

Jim9349 10

Thursday 20 August 2009 5:24

thats not very expensive.. you deserved it for being cheap..

twohot2touch 7

Thursday 20 August 2009 5:37

what u should be thinking is "I basically paid £250 to not have sex. A prostitute would have been much much cheaper lol

gorbagil 0

Thursday 20 August 2009 5:42

Wait a minute, isnt this like the situation the girl should be fml'in about?

loveyabb 0

Thursday 20 August 2009 5:48

"Today I tried to get my boyfriend to have sex with me on his new desk. Too bad he didn't put it together right and it broke. Now my ass hurts and my boyfriend wouldn't have sex with me. FML"

lizziemcguireee 0

Saturday 22 August 2009 1:52

Amen to this.

moss_fml 2

Thursday 20 August 2009 5:48

I am a Chinese,this's the first time I visit a foreign website,so... By the way,I don't know what "you deserve it" means too...

Gman08 0

Thursday 20 August 2009 5:51

how much does she wiegh? lol ydi get a skinnyer girlfriend

Cupcake10 0

Thursday 20 August 2009 5:59

Unless she wanted to have sex with her(fat)self how the hell did she expect the BOTH of you to do it on any surface less sturdy than a bed, or floor, or couch, or countertop, or car backseat or...dammit, where's my boyfriend.

Mr_Tuff_Guy 0

Thursday 20 August 2009 6:01

FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE WILLLLLLLLLLLLLLLY!!!!!!!!

gottalovepixar 0

Thursday 20 August 2009 6:11

FYL? More like F your girlfriend's life, how embarassing...

randomkid 0

Thursday 20 August 2009 6:36

you british and your silly name for money, pounds ha ha ha. : P oh and sorry about the computer

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The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 28 359

You deserved it 2 739

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The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 1 938

You deserved it 143

Today, my boyfriend and I were on the phone. He started talking dirty, and saying how horny he was, etc. So I decided to play along and said "I want you to picture me naked, baby." All of a sudden I heard a huge sigh. He responded, "Ew, that just killed it." FML

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You deserved it 12 716

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I agree, your life sucks 58 294

You deserved it 15 141

Today, at work, the police were looking over video footage of an incident earlier in the day where a car had slammed hard into another one in the carpark. My manager came into the kitchen and asked if I wanted to come see it to for a laugh. The car that got hit was mine. FML

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You deserved it 3 246

Today, my father passed away. I called my boss to let him know about the situation. His only response before hanging up: "Shit, dude. Well, I'll see you in the morning, these reports won't write themselves." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 784

You deserved it 1 994