Love: Today, my girlfriend and I were at the river. She threw mud on...

By Anonymous - 05/05/2013 19:35 - United States - Bellevue

Today, my girlfriend and I were at the river. She threw mud on me, so I playfully threw some on her, and we got into a mud fight. Apparently, she took the "fight" seriously, because I'm now single. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 904

You deserved it 6 021

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Same thing different taste

Wait, what?

By Anonymous - 09/03/2022 22:00

Today, I woke up in a pool of what felt like sweat and tears. Little did I realize, my then-girlfriend had snuck into the house and drenched me in salty water to get me back for kissing her sister. I guess we're even now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 188

You deserved it 1 810

Handful

By Abeille - 17/03/2011 00:50 - Canada

Today, I thought I'd take my little sister to the park. After getting bored of playing on the climbers, she thought it would be funny to throw some mud at me; too bad mud wasn’t the only chunky brown stuff on the ground. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 968

You deserved it 3 935

By Anonymous - 04/08/2019 22:00

Today, my girlfriend threw boiling water at me to get me off my phone. It worked, but now I'm burned. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 961

You deserved it 284

By *facefloor* - 24/07/2012 20:08 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I got into a heated argument at a house party. To avoid a huge scene, I pulled her into another room, during which I managed to trip over my feet and faceplant the floor. She shouted, "Hah! That's what you get!" Now everyone thinks she beat the shit out of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 049

You deserved it 5 407

A step too far

By Charlie - 08/09/2009 10:46 - Australia

Today, it was raining. I was out walking with my girlfriend, and decided it would be cute if we did a bit of dancing in the rain. As I was swinging her around, I swung her head against a lamp post. She broke up with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 482

You deserved it 21 142

By anonymous - 09/10/2011 01:20 - Australia

Today, I was play-wrestling with my girlfriend. I ended up with a cut, three bruises on my arm and a black eye. She just giggled the entire time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 252

You deserved it 27 565

By Anonymous - 16/08/2010 20:20 - United States

Today, I kissed my girlfriend. She threw up in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 904

You deserved it 6 672

By ouch - 29/03/2011 03:33 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were playfully arguing about who loved the other more. After about a minute of this, my girlfriend walked over and kicked me in the crotch as hard as she could. She then said, "There, now you don't love me as much. I win." FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 643

You deserved it 16 847

By skrewedguy - 08/12/2011 03:33 - United States

Today, my girlfriend left me. Knowing that I am a germaphobe, she took all of my cleaning supplies and spread mud and trash everywhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 678

You deserved it 6 618

By meganridner - 04/08/2011 16:05 - United States

Today, I went mud wrestling for the first time at a mud bog. After a day of fun and getting cleaned up, I realized that my mom's ring was no longer on my finger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 539

You deserved it 53 228

Marmarfarfar 25

Monday 6 May 2013 3:16

Did she ask you to stop and you didn't?

harrypotter955 19

Monday 6 May 2013 3:16

It's either that she's really stupid or you were throwing that mud like a champ.

Comments

LeFrogDog 27

Monday 6 May 2013 4:16

21 your drunk go home

Viet_fml 9

Monday 6 May 2013 4:24

Proably a psychopath, congrats on being single.

sarahlowry 2

Monday 6 May 2013 4:25

well... that escalated quickly.

prljm10 10

Monday 6 May 2013 4:25

You got mud on yo' face You big disgrace Kickin' your can all over the place

limitedition 25

Monday 6 May 2013 4:40

It's all fun & games til someone gets dumped.

Ypetrol 11

Monday 6 May 2013 4:43

But she started tho ?

SDMiami 7

Monday 6 May 2013 4:47

you're better off without her. maybe now you'll find a nice girl who really cares about you.

journeytotheend 16

Monday 6 May 2013 5:09

And knows how to mud fight

ironic_legacy 9

Monday 6 May 2013 4:47

Grammar, your drunk, go. home

journeytotheend 16

Monday 6 May 2013 5:04

You should've let her win

wjh100 13

Monday 6 May 2013 5:22

commenting about grammar while using the wrong "your" peculiar, very peculiar.

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I had to spend at least 30 minutes, at 3 in the morning, shooting BBs at a mateless whip-poor-will to scare it off so I could sleep. It was making noise in a tree right outside my window. I feel for you my dude, but you're doing the equivalent of drunk texting an ex and crying into your beer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 188

You deserved it 328

Today, I arrived at a camp and met one of my roommates. At bedtime, I had energy still, so I did push-ups. The guy was asleep or so I thought because he was facing the wall. The guy thought I was jacking off and told everyone I did it in the middle of our room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 818

You deserved it 2 837

The Top

Today, my parents met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. They not only brought along embarrassing childhood photos of myself, they'd 'accidentally' placed an intimate photo of me and my ex-girlfriend with them. That was their subtle way of telling everyone they prefered my ex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 923

You deserved it 3 265

Today, I tried to impress a group of friends by jumping a set of stairs on my skateboard. I didn't realize the ceiling dropped down towards the bottom of the stairs and knocked myself out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 675

You deserved it 8 807

Today, I was telling one of my patients I was upset because my sister wants to go to beauty school, and that I don't want her getting a worthless qualification and to aim higher. My patient replied saying she is a hair dresser. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 823

You deserved it 46 046

Today, a woman laughed after hearing my voice for the first time. This happens whenever I meet someone new, without fail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 014

You deserved it 3 241

Today, after shaking my boss's hand, I noticed that he had a piece of toilet paper stuck to one of his fingernails. FML

I agree, your life sucks 586

You deserved it 42

Today, I woke up, showered, and began brushing my teeth. When I started to brush my tongue I gagged, like usual, and threw up a little. What's unusual? I threw up a cockroach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 267

You deserved it 4 592

Same thing different taste

Wait, what?

Handful

A step too far

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