Love: Today, my genius boyfriend was trying to remember a particular...

By Derp-A-Herp - 27/05/2011 05:46 - United States

Today, my genius boyfriend was trying to remember a particular island in the Caribbean that was used by pirates in the past. I offered up Morocco. I heard him facepalm over the phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 654

You deserved it 55 292

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Same thing different taste

By GAGirl1 - 01/05/2014 21:29 - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me he wanted to drive to India. Thinking he meant Indiana, I said sure, knowing I have friends there. He said, "Bangladesh, India, here we come!" He was serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 041

You deserved it 7 223

By dating a fucking idiot - 08/09/2012 19:16 - United States

Today, my father bet me $200 that since my boyfriend is "such a stupid shit," he wouldn't be able to locate Paraguay on a map. I gladly accepted the bet. Not only did he not know where it is, he actually accused us of making the country up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 892

You deserved it 13 901

¿Dónde estás?

By Anonymous - 09/03/2015 14:24 - Spain - Zaragoza

Today, an old friend of mine landed in Spain, where he's visiting me. After a few minutes talking about where we should meet, we realized the reason he couldn't figure out where it was, was probably due to the fact that he was in Barcelona. I live in Madrid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 877

You deserved it 4 848

By xXshitface4uXx - 25/07/2014 22:46 - New Zealand - Rotorua

Today, my dad asked me how I would feel about going on an all-expenses-paid, month-long holiday to the Caribbean. I was ecstatic and broke into tears of joy, saying I'd love it. He replied, "Yeah, me too. Shame it ain't happening!" then left for work, laughing his arse off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 837

You deserved it 9 111

By tina - 17/08/2010 12:30 - Canada

Today, I ran into my boyfriend at the mall, the same boyfriend who'd told me he was going on a family vacation to Mexico. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 166

You deserved it 4 096

By sadpoorlady - 22/06/2013 09:22 - United Kingdom - Appley Bridge

Today, my boyfriend used the "this isn't working, we need to talk" line on me. How nice of him to wait this long to do so, just days after we returned from the expensive Caribbean holiday that I paid for. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 877

You deserved it 5 008

Culture wars

By FrustratedTutor - 21/08/2015 20:00 - United States - Andover

Today, the kid I was tutoring told me that, "Pirates were a myth. Like the Greeks and Romans." He's 16. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 815

You deserved it 2 825

Kinda true, though

By Ponce de Leon's folly - 08/12/2022 09:00 - United States - Chicago

Today, my fiancée informed me she wants us to go on a cruise for her birthday. I replied, "Ahhh cruise ships, the Walmart of the Seven Seas." She threw a mixer at my feet and told me I ruin everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 385

You deserved it 1 101

I heard that

By Anonymous - 25/04/2011 09:20 - Ireland

Today, I organised a romantic day trip for me and my boyfriend to some tropical gardens. I packed lunch and paid for the tickets. He decided to bring a friend, who doesn't speak English. The only thing that he said that I understood was that, "Your girlfriend eats a lot." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 292

You deserved it 4 498

By Grrrawrwtf - 03/06/2012 04:25 - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me that he wanted to break up with me but it had to be after our cruise together because he doesn't want to lose out on money. Can't wait for the Bahamas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 940

You deserved it 2 462

kidclarke 15

Friday 27 May 2011 12:00

I'm surprised you didn't say Disneyland.

jennifer93 0

Friday 27 May 2011 12:10

Yeahhh math isnt my best subject either ;p

Comments

nivekcizia123 0

Friday 27 May 2011 12:52

lol i dont get it? ;)

kc1997kc 9

Saturday 28 May 2011 1:53

FAIL!

CaliGali 9

Friday 27 May 2011 12:52

someone needs a world map, actually lots of people do... stop offering names of places in Africa

babyfatty 2

Friday 27 May 2011 12:53

think you need to herp-derp yourself!

whatwhatbuttbutt 4

Friday 27 May 2011 12:55

Wow, I'd face palm over the phone too if I heard that. PS - it's Tortuga. Even Michael Bolton knows that.

Chavezcpc 5

Tuesday 12 July 2011 9:23

lonely island, jack sparrow?

Captain_Obvious2_fml 6

Friday 27 May 2011 12:58

i can understand where he is coming from.. id facepalm too

flyboy96 0

Friday 27 May 2011 13:08

Port Royal, Jamaica?

CitrusGirl 0

Friday 27 May 2011 13:09

Pretty sure it's Tortuga- which means turtle by the way. Things you learn from your POTC fan friends.

twinkybandit 2

Friday 27 May 2011 13:14

can you REALLY hear a facepalm? Sounds made up

VasilisaUzhasnaj 29

Friday 27 May 2011 14:03

Yes actually, if they slap themselves hard enough from shame.

freakindistracti 0

Friday 27 May 2011 13:22

Tortuga.... Just Sayin'....

abceasyas123abc 12

Friday 27 May 2011 13:28

..isn't it one of those things people use for rock-climbing and abseiling.. lol

Keywords

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The Top

Today, my boss and I were stacking boxes in the back room of the store. One of the boxes fell and hit me in the face, causing me to lose my glasses. My boss stepped on my glasses as she ran to check the box for broken merchandise, which I then had to pay for. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 058

You deserved it 2 533

Today, my best friend asked if I'd join him and his girlfriend for a 3-way. Since I've always had a crush on his girlfriend, I eagerly agreed. When I got there, I learned that their idea of a 3-way was them watching me jerk off while I watched them have sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 572

You deserved it 2 672

The Top

Today, I woke up after a dream where I got it good from none other than Arnold Schwarzenegger. The problem? I'm a guy, and straight. Apparently my subconscious has a fetish for old Austrian bodybuilders. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 054

You deserved it 6 649

Today, after my girlfriend played a prank on me a few days ago, I thought she’d be a good sport about me playing one back. Turns out she’s not a good sport. I’m now single, with black bruises on my ribs. I think one might even be broken. FML

I agree, your life sucks 853

You deserved it 196

Today, my teacher turned around from the blackboard and screamed, "Stop chewing your gum like a cow!" That wasn't so bad.--The bad part was when she realized it was me, she apologized saying, " I am sorry. You are not really a cow. I don't want to traumatize you; you're just overweight." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 286

You deserved it 8 502

Today, I had to get an MRI. I double and triple checked to make sure there was no out-of-pocket cost. When I arrived at the testing center, I was expected to pay full price for the test. It costs $2,360. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 559

You deserved it 3 932

Today, a few army recruiters came to my school to discuss their jobs with us. When asked to say our name and what we wanted to do when we were older, I said I wanted to be a prosecutor. Everyone started laughing. Turns out everyone thought I said prostitute, including the recruiters. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 585

You deserved it 191

Today, whenever I call my father on the phone he never answers, but if I ever ignore his calls he wishes me dead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 895

You deserved it 72