Intimacy: Today, my friends and I decided to compare dick sizes one by...

By verysadasian - 30/07/2009 14:21 - United States

Today, my friends and I decided to compare dick sizes one by one. I was last and I was the smallest. I was also the only Asian amongst my friends. They now call me "the stereotype". FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 618

You deserved it 29 256

May weddings: Love and blunders
Weddings are supposed to be perfect, but our stories show that perfection can sometimes be... surprising! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Stereotypes

By Anonymous - 01/10/2009 09:42 - United States

Today, my friends and I noticed that people, no matter what stereotype, pretty much all have the same type of friends: the mean one, the funny one, etc., and started naming off the people in our group who fit into those personalities. We got to the token fat one, everyone looked at me and stopped talking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 021

You deserved it 10 378

By spandex - 24/03/2009 06:47 - United States

Today, I had to perform a skit in my class in which I have to wear tight spandex compression shorts. The class laughed pretty hard, and I felt like I had done a good job. Afterward, a girl I have a crush on said, "So the stereotype about Asian guys IS true." Through the fluorescent lights you could see my junk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 85 431

You deserved it 11 915

By lilben - 10/06/2011 08:09 - United States

Today, I was given a new nickname at work due to my boss always confusing me with one of my co-workers who is taller than me. Someone suggested he just call us the same name to make it simpler, and the tall one would be big and the short one little. Everyone at my job now calls me Little Dick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 586

You deserved it 4 780

By NiHao - 28/09/2009 03:16 - Canada

Today, I was at my friend's dorm eating supper. He and all his roommates are Chinese, and since I'm majoring in Chinese, I could understand what they were talking about. Too bad none of his friends knew that, and talked about banging me while I was sitting there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 124

You deserved it 3 878

By oh my son - 23/12/2012 06:02 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I walked in on my son and his friend comparing their penis sizes. They're 6. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 731

You deserved it 5 760

By Anonymous - 06/10/2011 16:17 - Canada

Today, I was using the toilet and decided to check out some FMLs. One made me laugh out loud as my room-mate was passing by the bathroom. He now tells everyone my penis is so small it makes even me laugh every time I see it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 643

You deserved it 11 270

By Noname - 11/03/2009 20:29 - United States

Today, I walked behind a girl I hooked up with last weekend while she was on the computer in the library. I noticed she was looking at my Facebook page and got excited. Then I heard her say to her friend, "This is the one with the smallest dick I've ever seen." FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 980

You deserved it 9 592

"shortcomings"

By Anonymous - 24/02/2018 01:30

Today, my girlfriend and I lost our virginity to each other, or so I thought. I heard her on the phone with her sister saying that I’m definitely the smallest dick she’s ever had, but the size of my bank account encourages her to overlook my shortcomings. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 905

You deserved it 631

By me - 09/08/2011 03:43 - United States

Today, my friend and I gave our numbers to some guys at a bar. Twenty minutes after we had left, we got a call. We excitedly answered the phone, only to hear the guy ask, "So are you the fat one or the ugly one?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 413

You deserved it 7 356

That one friend

By meesa in big doo do dis time! - 13/06/2017 12:00

Today, I learned that all of my "friends" refer to me as the, "Jar Jar Binks" of our circle of friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 521

You deserved it 467

Butterbuns 1

Thursday 30 July 2009 23:12

....Wow. YDI, for being lame enough to BE comparing dick sizes with your friends. Do you not have anything better to do?

henri_fml 0

Thursday 30 July 2009 23:10

didn't you know the size of your own dick before you entered a measuring contest?

Comments

seb12992 0

Friday 31 July 2009 0:57

I have a friend that we call "the stereotype". We were comparing dick sizes and his was the biggest, except he was black.

marcerman1423 0

Friday 31 July 2009 0:59

why would you compare dick sizes

llikeafoxx 0

Friday 31 July 2009 1:02

People actually compare dick sizes? FYL right there.

wilson12 0

Friday 31 July 2009 1:04

fag

bloodthorn 4

Friday 31 July 2009 1:11

LOL #1 you made my day, nigga

zappyalex 0

Friday 31 July 2009 1:24

Homos

Junkson 0

Friday 31 July 2009 1:26

Thats gay

Aniland 2

Friday 31 July 2009 1:34

That's very gay. Why even do that unless you're gay?

lowcapacityx 0

Friday 31 July 2009 1:27

I don't think you're small!

Dalena_Stack 0

Friday 31 July 2009 1:30

yes small ... but make a big thing!

shirvon100 0

Friday 31 July 2009 1:59

you shouldve known the risk going into this

Keywords

Awkward Love Embarrassing Public freakouts Family Weddings AITA Bodyshaming Transportation Cops Cars Kids Sexism Work Relatable Mental health Health Growing old Animals Cats Periods Job interview Education Instagram Social Media Stalker Phobias Spiders Ironic Bikes

The Top

Today, my step-dad was talking about how he was raised in Las Vegas, telling stories about him and his buddies, until he stopped, looked right at my mom and said, "Find her, feed her, f*ck her, forget her. But I never forgot your mom, that's how I stole her from your dad." FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 383

You deserved it 4 153

Today, I was going to propose to my girlfriend on my boat at the lake. As we were looking at the mountains all around us, she playfully pushed me off the side into the water. As I got back on the boat, I realized that not only was my cellphone dead, but the ring had fallen into the deep water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 647

You deserved it 296

The Top

Today, I went for a run. I ended up being tackled by two cops, handcuffed, and dragged to the station with no explanation. Turns out a house nearby had been robbed and the best description they got was, "A man running." I didn't even get an apology. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 390

You deserved it 2 848

Today, my boyfriend and I were having phone sex. It got very wild and soon was interrupted by a knock on my door. My dad had come home early from work, and heard the whole thing. He demanded my boyfriend to come over, and he had a sex talk with him on the couch in front of the whole family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 390

You deserved it 23 246

Today, when I visited my daughter's apartment that she moved into about 3 months ago, I found out that she buys new underwear every time she runs out instead of washing her dirty ones. Her dirty ones have their own special hamper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 135

You deserved it 2 930

Today, I wanted revenge on the rabbit who ate my garden's plants. When he returned, he was standing next to my brand new above-ground swimming pool. I pull out my 22. rifle and shot at it, but the bullet missed and popped a hole in my pool. 15,000 gallons of water flooded my basement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 034

You deserved it 287 427

Today, after 7 hours of driving, I begged my wife to take over for the last 3 hours. She pulled out a flask and took a long swig, then smirked at me. I drove the rest of the way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 153

You deserved it 128

Today, my older, temporary coworker comments every time I yawn, sneeze, cough, leave my desk to use the restroom, and on what I eat at lunch, laughing the whole time. It’s driving me crazy. Only 8 more weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 005

You deserved it 164

Same thing different taste

Stereotypes

"shortcomings"

That one friend

Top comments

Comments