Love: Today, my father made his bellybutton talk. In front of my new...

By coffee_princess - 22/07/2010 23:14 - Canada

Today, my father made his bellybutton talk. In front of my new boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 937

You deserved it 4 462

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Same thing different taste

By smellybelly - 02/03/2012 06:26 - United States

Today, my boyfriend of two years kept digging around in his belly button and smelling his fingers. At one point he shoved his fingers in my face and told me to smell his belly button. He's 27 years old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 213

You deserved it 4 583

Genetics

By outie - 13/09/2020 02:02

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because I have an 'outie' belly button, and he didn't want our potential kids to have one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 585

You deserved it 167

By Anonymous - 04/01/2014 23:13 - Canada - Hamilton

Today, my boyfriend met my parents. Within minutes, my dad managed to verbally sever his balls and reduce him to tears, "just for fun" apparently. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 685

You deserved it 5 695

By leahrb - 24/02/2016 18:55 - United States - Wilmington

Today, my boyfriend came over for the first time to meet my parents. The first words out of my dad's mouth were, "Son, I want you to suck upon my nipples of knowledge." FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 336

You deserved it 1 886

Don't let me be misunderstood

By sadfacemaking - 20/07/2021 08:01

Today, my boyfriend bought me a ring for my birthday. My dad now refuses to talk to me, because he thinks I'm engaged. My boyfriend thinks it's funny, because he'd never marry me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 186

You deserved it 129

By Illinoisgirl - 14/02/2012 14:29 - Hungary

Today, my dad got so drunk that he proposed to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 228

You deserved it 3 049

News to me

By Anonymous - 18/04/2020 20:00

Today, my dad told me he liked men. While he was making a drunken speech. At my wedding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 926

You deserved it 172

By quit fucking up my life - 23/11/2013 01:08 - United States - Kenai

Today, my dad met my boyfriend for the first time. He soon "casually" took a huge knife from the kitchen drawer and told my boyfriend that he's always wondered what it'd be like to stab someone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 651

You deserved it 4 912

By ihateguys - 26/09/2014 19:13 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I heard my boyfriend talking with my father in the backyard. I thought he was asking for my hand in marriage. He was actually telling him about his plans to break up with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 958

You deserved it 4 004

By highlandgirl10 - 21/07/2010 20:31 - Canada

Today, I brought my boyfriend of a year and a half to meet my parents. Turns out he dated my mom. This should be a fun dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 087

You deserved it 6 228

DncrHap 9

Friday 23 July 2010 9:36

"well, mr. bellybutton, what do you think of Emma's new boyfriend?" "he gives me a tummy ache." "ohhhh, mr. bellybutton. you crack me up!"

ScaryyMary 14

Friday 23 July 2010 9:17

What was it saying?

Comments

FrostyBalls 0

Friday 23 July 2010 21:57

Only a bitch would care.

Zanzig 0

Saturday 24 July 2010 0:04

what r u 5? quit bitching.

mrmaks18 7

Saturday 24 July 2010 0:22

sweet as long as nothing else talks that would be freaky

jklpuzo 2

Saturday 24 July 2010 4:00

that's kinda gross...

Carbonite 0

Saturday 24 July 2010 4:40

haha funny dad :p thats exacly what I'll do to my daughter when she brings home some kid

erectoralcollage 0

Saturday 24 July 2010 6:23

poor baby

madrabbit 3

Saturday 24 July 2010 8:34

this is a skill I must learn so that I can use it on my daughter when she starts to bring boys home.

Zero221 0

Saturday 24 July 2010 15:19

llOll_llOll

aiden2976 0

Saturday 24 July 2010 19:12

did your bf get an erection?

Lisasimpsonfan 0

Sunday 25 July 2010 8:22

I make my husband's belly button talk all the time. It cracks me up. Can't wait for our daughter to start dating so I can show her boyfriend

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I agree, your life sucks 25

You deserved it 26

Today, my proposal was slightly ruined when the ring I got her, which I could have sworn was the same size as other rings she owns, was a whole 3 sizes too big. She agreed to marry me but is now sulking because she thinks I think she’s fat and needs a big ring for her fat fingers. Give me a break. FML

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You deserved it 101

The Top

Today, I have been awake so long I hallucinated a llama in my living room. I have a medical condition that keeps me from sleeping properly. I've run out of medication. I still see the llama. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 113

You deserved it 3 086

Today, my roommate told me that she wants to get some of those "My Family" stickers for her car. She's single and has no children. What does she want to get? One for her, and one for her goldfish. Sadly, this is probably one of the most intelligent things she's said all week. FML

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You deserved it 3 754

Today, a DNA test proved that my 2-month-old daughter isn't mine. The real father is my girlfriend's husband, whom she married last year when she lied to me about going on a vacation. We've been together for three years and I never knew. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 395

You deserved it 529

Today, my mother told me I should volunteer in Africa, because I might "get lucky, catch malaria and come back skinny". FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 620

You deserved it 2 339

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I agree, your life sucks 1 813

You deserved it 334

Today, I was at a baby shower with my wife. I went to go outside for some fresh air, but walked straight into their glass sliding door. Everyone stared at me. I smiled with embarrassment and walked back over to my wife, only to trip over my own feet and faceplant the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 731

You deserved it 7 561

Same thing different taste

Genetics

Don't let me be misunderstood

News to me

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