Kids: Today, my family, including my 2 year old niece, went to the...

By Soaked - 20/05/2010 15:20 - United States

Today, my family, including my 2 year old niece, went to the zoo. We were at the lion exhibit. I was holding my niece so she could get a better view of the lions. As I was holding her, the lions started to roar. She got so scared that she peed. Her diaper wasn't very absorbent, but my shirt was. FML

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 21/08/2015 05:55 - United States - Truckee

Today, I took my daughter to the zoo, because she loves tigers. Correction: she used to love tigers, until one sprayed urine on her from a distance of four meters. FML

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By shando - 08/11/2009 02:13 - United States

Today, I went to a petting zoo with my niece and nephew. While we were checking out the llamas, one of them spit directly into my face. Disgusted and embarrassed, we turned away to pet a deer. The deer immediately urinated then shook its tail, which splattered it into my face. FML

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Can't take my eyes off you

By silverscrescent - 22/08/2020 01:02 - United Kingdom - Poole

Today, I was babysitting my 8-year-old niece. I left her for 10 minutes so I could take a shower, only to walk in on her with her dress rolled up, peeing on the floor. FML

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By teacher - 25/01/2013 05:25 - Australia - Sydney

Today, I led a class of grade-two pupils on an excursion to the zoo. When we went to see the lions I was put in a position where I had to explain to seven and eight year olds why one lion was "bouncing" on top of the other one. FML

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By foojew93 - 09/08/2009 17:41 - United States

Today, I was walking at a section of the zoo where you are in the cage, and the monkeys are climbing outside of the cage. I was having a great time until I looked up and one of the monkeys urinated all over my face. Not only did everyone see, but there was no way for me to shower for six hours. FML

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By Thanks - 27/11/2009 23:36 - United Kingdom

Today, I took my daughter to the zoo. I threw a piece of my sandwich towards a very cute chimpanzee. As a thank you, he threw a piece of crap at me, which exploded all over my shirt. FML

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By Monroe - 23/06/2011 22:30 - United States

Today, I was babysitting my cousin when I realized my aunt didn't tell me where the diapers were. I searched the entire house, but I had no luck. Then my cousin ripped off the diaper she was wearing and peed on the kitchen floor. FML

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Public announcement

By Pissed - 05/10/2011 15:29 - Australia

Today, in an incredibly busy shopping center bathroom with my 5 year-old niece, I was squatting over the toilet seat to avoid germs. My niece then says at the top of her voice, "Auntie, why are you sitting like a kangaroo?" I'd say the whole room pissed their pants laughing. FML

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By DuhSteven - 06/06/2012 17:04 - Canada - Surrey

Today, I had my first ever shift at the zoo. My job is to explain the characteristics and habits of various animals to the visitors. A five-year-old outsmarted me while I was talking about lions. FML

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Noped out

By Anonymous - 23/09/2013 00:08 - United States - Charlotte

Today, my sister and her two-year-old came to my place for a visit. Not long after arriving, my niece ripped off her diaper and immediately took a dump on my white carpet. Guess who had to 'suddenly' leave afterwards, leaving me to clean up the mess. FML

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FYLDeep 25

Thursday 20 May 2010 19:19

Nah, she wasn't scared. She was marking her territory. That lion would have gotten it's ass kicked if you didn't intervene.

momov2 0

Thursday 20 May 2010 19:42

good thing you aren't a parent then. since becoming a parent I've been peed on, pooped on, vomited on, and used as a human Kleenex. Just kinda goes with the job. especially when the kid is sick

Comments

metalmaiden 0

Friday 21 May 2010 9:32

I think your niece just claimed you as her property. (:

1LL337 0

Friday 21 May 2010 15:34

YDI for putting her too close

franciscovegas 3

Saturday 22 May 2010 1:12

haven't you ever heard of wet t shirt contests?

Darkodar_fml 0

Saturday 22 May 2010 20:34

i guess you had to buy a shirt in the zoo's boutique souvenir hehe :P

DAN7IEL 2

Thursday 10 June 2010 18:52

well at least she didn't fall in!!! at first I thought that's what you were going to say......

samanthasantini 0

Saturday 21 August 2010 5:38

Maybe you should put her in spechial education

icyluv1117 2

Thursday 2 June 2011 2:46

that happened to my uncle we were at the zoo too and my cousins diaper was full so my uncle put him on his shoulders not knowing and when my cousin sat down all of it came out all over my uncle (it's kinda funny how both were at the zoo(:!!)