Animals: Today, my drunk dad started yelling at my dog for not having... - FML

By Cecilly2010 - 28/04/2011 15:53

Today, my drunk dad started yelling at my dog for not having a job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 612

You deserved it 5 241

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 01/05/2015 20:02 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, a drunk man started yelling at the lamppost outside my house, demanding to be let inside, all while my neighbors watched. That man is my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 354

You deserved it 2 463

Asshole

By Anonymous - 21/06/2013 20:38 - Netherlands - Mierlo

Today, my drunk dad decided to wake me up by lobbing our cat directly into my now-mauled face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 136

You deserved it 3 230

By paige - 01/04/2011 03:18 - United States

Today, my dad came home drunk and called me hot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 712

You deserved it 5 788

By Anonymous - 09/12/2014 21:14 - United States - Margate City

Today, as I was leaving home for my mall kiosk job, my dad asked me where I was off to. When I said I was going to work, he tossed an empty beer bottle to the floor, belched, and said "Bah! Get a REAL job!" He's unemployed and living in my apartment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 598

You deserved it 3 144

Every day is Caturday

By Anonymous - 16/11/2012 00:36 - United States - Panama City

Today, my mom came home drunk and yelled at me for 20 minutes for not feeding the cat. We don't have a cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 524

You deserved it 1 832

By Deadman - 02/04/2012 13:37 - United States

Today, my dad came home drunk at four in the morning. He walked into my room, screaming at me to wake up so he can kill zombies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 891

You deserved it 2 528

Anger management

By FML - 08/12/2013 18:00 - Puerto Rico - Cayey

Today, my dad came home drunk off his ass. So drunk that he couldn't manage to open the refrigerator, and ended up punching it in a fit of rage. When I tried to calm him down and get him to bed, he told me to fuck off, and grounded me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 652

You deserved it 3 394

Drunk MC

By Anonymous - 11/03/2013 14:03 - Sweden - Sundbyberg

Today, my dad has been hitting the bottle, and will only respond to anything I say in a slurred rap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 494

You deserved it 3 031

By Anonymous - 22/02/2010 16:38 - United States

Today, my dad screamed at me because I've been "spending too much money". He's been out of a job for 4 months and I've been giving him 300 dollars a month to help pay for bills... and his beer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 718

You deserved it 3 426

By meeeoow - 22/01/2011 10:05 - Australia

Today, my drunken father decided to walk my quiet street naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 658

You deserved it 2 773

Next

Top comments

samsanpoet 0

Thursday 28 April 2011 19:00

yeah why cant he be like the dog on the beggin' strips commercial! lazy dog

Insane_Tea 15

Thursday 28 April 2011 19:01

Well someone's gotta be put to work. Booze isn't going to buy itself ya' hear.

Comments

tigerarmychic 3

Saturday 30 April 2011 17:46

lolllll

tennisstar14 0

Sunday 1 May 2011 6:28

geez dogs these days. lazy.

cody402 7

Sunday 1 May 2011 13:02

how's this a fml I wish my dog would do something like that but he's dead wow way to bring everyone down oh shut up he died before you were born how dare u sir how's my dog die b4 I was born WTF who are u

wriptidez 0

Sunday 1 May 2011 13:15

rofl

HarpaChow 0

Sunday 1 May 2011 23:04

Someones gotta pay the bills in the household!

TheyCallmeStacey 9

Sunday 1 May 2011 23:49

lol gawd

OasC82 0

Monday 2 May 2011 2:11

hahahahahahhahHahahahHhhahaha that's hilarious

bubblebuyy 0

Monday 2 May 2011 4:53

ahaha that must of been funny to watch xD

mwahaha1 0

Monday 2 May 2011 12:51

LOL!

That0therguy 4

Monday 2 May 2011 20:14

Sounds all too familiar. My Dog has the same problem.

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Management Work Miscellaneous Friends Awkward Health Relatable Healthy Lifestyle Birthday Family Money Mother in law Gifts Parents Public freakouts Education Students Exams Pranks Weird Love Argument AITA Insects Fear Cats Skincare Job interview Jealousy Coworkers

The Top

Today, I was at a big meeting at work. The CEO was reaming the hell out of us for our recent poor profits, when I accidentally let rip a vile fart. I was then subjected to a 10 minute tirade of abuse for "trying to be a funny man", and told that whatever small chance I had for a promotion is now gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 450

You deserved it 6 068

Today, I had a mental breakdown because I have a 10,000 word final project due on Monday and I have only 800 words written so far, because I have been working on other classes and trying to be outside with my friends in the nice weather this week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 129

You deserved it 787

The Top

Today, my friend got an engagement ring. She’s been with her boyfriend for 2 years and it started as a one-night stand. Whenever I have one-night stands, the only thing I get is left on "read". FML

I agree, your life sucks 450

You deserved it 709

Today, I went to go surprise my long distance boyfriend at college 7 hours away. As I opened his apartment door, I saw him on the couch fucking his “study buddy”. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 955

You deserved it 586

Today, armed with enthusiasm and a trowel, I ventured into my yard to plant some flowers. Not even five minutes later, I managed to dig up the cable line, cutting off not only my TV but the entire building's internet. The only thing that's blooming now is my reputation as the least popular neighbor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 295

You deserved it 616

Today, I was cutting a client's hair, and she was complaining about how itchy her head was from having it too long. As I lay down my comb and shears, three lice bugs ran across my counter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 966

You deserved it 3 798

Today, my mom had a talk with me while my dad was out. She said to stop using her lotion for my masturbation sessions. I asked her how long did she know. She replied with, "Ever since we put up that camera in the living room for burglars, where you happen to watch your porn." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 295

You deserved it 51 512

Today, I realized all of my boyfriend's and my dirty messages were being sent to my mom because I'd logged into messenger on her phone once without logging out. She sat me down and said, "I know your mouth's been on his wee wee." FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 386

You deserved it 5 597