Intimacy: Today, my dog, who has been specially trained to go for help...

By thewhompingwillow - 01/09/2012 17:56 - United States - Springfield

Today, my dog, who has been specially trained to go for help when I'm having a seizure, went to alert my parents downstairs that I was having an emergency. The "emergency" was me masturbating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 856

You deserved it 11 943

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Same thing different taste

By Whoopsie - 25/07/2018 05:00

Today, I had to call 911 and explain to the operator that my girlfriend orgasmed so hard she had a seizure and passed out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 345

You deserved it 579

By Arden - 03/02/2019 20:00

Today, my dog peed on my bed because my parents were presumably having sex and I was too scared to go downstairs and take her out because of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 893

You deserved it 1 543

By what-the-what - 29/10/2017 13:00 - United States - Mount Pleasant

Today, my mother called me at work, freaking out about my dog, so I panicked. What was wrong? He had a hard-on and she'd never seen that happen before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 773

You deserved it 298

By Jeremy - 10/05/2009 01:04 - United States

Today, my parents hosted a party at our house. After seeing one of the extremely beautiful guests, I went to masturbate in my room. When I was about to finish, my bedroom door opened suddenly. It was my mom showing around 10 party guests that our dog can open doors. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 290

You deserved it 87 236

Sixth sense

By fappy dog - 23/01/2014 21:06 - United States - Granite City

Today, and for the past week, my dog has started barking at my door when I start masturbating. I think my mom is starting to suspect. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 603

You deserved it 11 273

By trainE - 30/03/2009 02:08 - United States

Today, I was masturbating in my room when my dog started to bark obnoxiously. He does this all the time so I ignored it and kept going. This went on for about a half hour. When I went downstairs, I found an open door and an empty TV stand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 341

You deserved it 94 565

By aXel - 13/10/2008 08:29

Today, my dog was watching me and started to have a hard-on, for half an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 730

You deserved it 8 310

By 420curse - 05/05/2015 18:20 - United States - San Mateo

Today, I found out the "sex noises" I heard from next door last night, which I'd angrily yelled at my neighbor for, were actually from him having an uncontrollable seizure. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 667

You deserved it 15 157

Toxic workplace

By Anonymous - 05/12/2021 08:01

Today, I had a seizure for the first time in months. My fiancé went over to my job to let them know I wouldn't be going in. My boss bitched both of us because I didn't call myself. Sure, I'll get right on that when I'm conscious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 321

You deserved it 74

Freakout

By nofunforme - 25/06/2019 12:00 - United States - Candler

Today, I was having fun while home alone, until my dog heard my vibrator and tried to attack me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 943

You deserved it 448

COOL__Coal 12

Sunday 2 September 2012 1:06

I think you may be doing it wrong.

loserboii 11

Sunday 2 September 2012 1:07

So your seizures & masturbations look the relatively similiar I assume¿

Comments

bReLiNg 18

Sunday 2 September 2012 2:29

Sounds like a personal problem.

awkward_gothlady 32

Sunday 2 September 2012 2:29

That must've been awkward...

heroin_chic 4

Sunday 2 September 2012 2:39

That's a new one

spiceywolfe 2

Sunday 2 September 2012 2:49

Dog Troll ftw!!!

kaymkaym98 0

Sunday 2 September 2012 15:25

It's wtf. Not ftw. Thankyou.

iwadasn 32

Sunday 2 September 2012 20:55

116, "ftw"means "for the win." The more you know...

captainburke 5

Sunday 2 September 2012 3:00

That's hilarious, your dog has a good sense of humor! That is ******* awkward though, sorry op.

MickyD12 16

Sunday 2 September 2012 3:01

Man's best friend?

Metallica36176 16

Sunday 2 September 2012 3:11

You must've been going at it hardcore to look like you're having a seizure....

thewife5 19

Sunday 2 September 2012 3:23

The dog is actually trained to sense the seizer before it happens... So the dog probably sensed the chemical released from outside the room and went and got help. And OP.. Maybe try the shower.