Today, my date asked me if I enjoyed golden showers. We were...

By CathyMary - 20/08/2019 22:00 - United States - New York

Today, my date asked me if I enjoyed golden showers. We were in the middle of making out, and it was our first date, which I thought was going well. I guess when things seem too good to be true, they really are. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 114

You deserved it 254

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Same thing different taste

By RitaDahhlinnnng - 25/08/2009 23:56 - United States

Today, I had my first real date with my first serious boyfriend. I was nervous because from past experience. I learned my lips were a bit ticklish and I usually giggled a bit during kissing. Well, we started making out and I thought was I doing pretty good hiding my laughs. Until I wet myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 001

You deserved it 10 820

By shithappens - 31/03/2019 14:00

Today. I went on a date with a really great guy. After the date we went to his place and had drinks in the hottub. I ended up shitting myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 242

You deserved it 674

By manderz? - 03/08/2016 00:18 - United States - Beach Haven

Today, after having an amazing first date with my long time crush, we ended up going out to dinner. We shared a meal, and it was delicious! This would have been the ultimate dream come true... Except for the part about me throwing up in his car on the way back home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 478

You deserved it 1 114

It's good for the planet

By Marcela - 18/03/2009 13:47 - United States

Today, I was taking a shower with my new boyfriend for the first time. Last night was the first night we spent together. As I was washing my hair, I looked down at my feet and noticed yellow water. Some of the warm water I felt on my feet was not from the shower head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 107 342

You deserved it 19 681

Toxic waste

By Anonymous - 02/09/2022 06:00 - Europe

Today, I was on a first date with a girl at a lake. I felt my stomach rumble and knew I couldn’t make it to shore, so I dropped into the water and had violently diarrhea in the water. It started to bubble, and so I started splashing around, saying, “It’s cold” while she swam around me, in my shit water. I’ve never told her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 098

You deserved it 402

By MessedXUp - 25/09/2009 16:43 - United States

Today, I went on a date with a new guy after not dating for quite some time. I'd drank a lot of water, so I wouldn't eat so much on the date and look like a pig. Unfortunately, I'd forgotten how funny this guy really was. He made me laugh so hard, I peed all over myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 477

You deserved it 47 326

Dating is hell

By Anonymous - 24/03/2024 05:00 - United Kingdom

Today, the girl I’ve been trying to date not only agreed to a date, she invited me back to her place because the date went so well. We were kissing so hard, I struggled to breathe, I coughed, gagged, then vomited my seafood dinner all over her yellow sofa. It all went downhill from there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 479

You deserved it 197

Contortionist

By Anonymous - 30/07/2022 14:00

Today, I had a date with a guy I’ve known casually for a few weeks. Everything was OK, until he asked me to come back to his place because he had something “to share with me.” Apparently, he’s double jointed, because his mouth reaches below his waist. He even finished. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 101

You deserved it 193

Golden shower

By Anonymous - 08/11/2019 03:00

Today, I had my first golden shower. Too bad it was from my cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 707

You deserved it 386

WTF dude?

By Scarred for life - 04/02/2017 16:00 - United States - Eagle River

Today, I went on a blind date. The first words that came out of his mouth were, "Rape isn't that bad if you think about it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 837

You deserved it 1 343

RichardPencil 30

Tuesday 20 August 2019 23:43

I’ll bet you were pissed off!

BigSissy 14

Tuesday 20 August 2019 22:15

I was going to say I don’t know how people can even make an effort to date these days, but I realize it was pretty much the same when I was dating – 40 years ago. 😬

Comments

BigSissy 14

Tuesday 20 August 2019 22:15

I was going to say I don’t know how people can even make an effort to date these days, but I realize it was pretty much the same when I was dating – 40 years ago. 😬

jbuckets_404 38

Tuesday 20 August 2019 22:17

Wait, what? How does the idea of even being married - much less for 50 years - even come up on a first date??? /s [As already alluded to by the first 2 words of this comment.]

Hannah Eder 16

Tuesday 20 August 2019 22:28

I.....I dont think you know what golden showers are, unless this was sarcasm.

Spootage 4

Wednesday 21 August 2019 0:09

Making it 50 years as a couple is an incredible accomplishment—and one that should be acknowledged and celebrated with meaningful gifts. The traditional 50 year anniversary gift is gold.