Miscellaneous: Today, my crush grabbed my butt while I was walking up the stairs....

By anonymous - 15/01/2012 05:58 - United States

Today, my crush grabbed my butt while I was walking up the stairs. In surprise I farted. He won't even look me in the eyes now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 558

You deserved it 7 667

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 17/12/2012 00:58 - United States

Today, I saw my crush at the grocery store. He saw me and started walking towards me. I got so excited that I farted when he came near. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 412

You deserved it 10 250

Good bye!

By Anonymous - 19/01/2020 20:00

Today I was walking around the mall and I saw my crush from high school. He came up to me and instead of talking to him I burped, and he just walked away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 768

You deserved it 734

By john - 28/01/2009 23:02 - United States

Today, the girl who I have had a crush on for 2 years snuck up from behind me and gave me a hug. I farted very loud at the same exact time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 834

You deserved it 5 153

By killmenow - 03/12/2015 05:33 - Canada - Halifax

Today, I burped in front of my crush. Well, not really in front of him. I turned around mid-burp and noticed him, not knowing anyone was there. The surprise made me scream a little, which only amplified the burp. So I made this mighty belch-turned-scream noise, while maintaining eye contact with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 255

You deserved it 2 646

By Anonymous - 01/03/2010 22:04 - United States

Today, a really hot guy smacked my ass. I farted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 724

You deserved it 10 923

By sydneybourgeois - 13/08/2011 04:06 - United States

Today, the guy of my dreams told me he liked me and leaned in to kiss me. Just as our lips touched, I ripped a big ass fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 510

You deserved it 16 142

By perverted teenage girl - 29/11/2016 21:51

Today, my crush was giving a presentation in class. I zoned out and began staring off into space - which happened to be in the exact direction of his crotch. When I realized what I was doing, I quickly looked up at his face. He was already looking at me, with an expression of severe discomfort. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 090

You deserved it 1 894

By Mojo - 14/12/2009 17:06 - United Kingdom

Today, my crush took me to a park and told me he loved me. We sat on an old bench and were just about to kiss when I screamed. I now have a huge splinter in my arse and he can't stop laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 544

You deserved it 5 180

My body hates me

By HappilyNeverAfter - 18/09/2014 03:14 - Canada - Port Perry

Today, a guy asked me out, and I felt butterflies in my stomach. I soon realized that it wasn't butterflies, but an unexpected bowel movement. I stood there awkwardly, looking him in the eyes, then farted hard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 834

You deserved it 5 272

By longlostkid556 - 05/06/2011 04:14 - United States

Today, the girl I have a crush on came over to work on a project. My dad rushed into the room we were in, farted, and then ran out giggling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 220

You deserved it 5 803

daybid 7

Sunday 15 January 2012 12:21

Well that stinks!

anzie_fml 9

Sunday 15 January 2012 12:22

That's a very interesting way for him to be greeting you, especially if you're still just calling him your "crush"... O.o

Comments

Tesaatje 12

Tuesday 17 January 2012 22:31

In the face

CurlyKid1 0

Wednesday 18 January 2012 22:52

Which ever way the wind blows, doesn't really matter.

FreezeeMonsta 19

Thursday 19 January 2012 7:59

to meeeeeee, toooo meeeeee!

acenmbr1 2

Thursday 19 January 2012 4:29

LMAO!!! Awesome!

m4gicspells 0

Thursday 19 January 2012 7:08

I wouldn't look you in the eyes either after that, sorry O_O

drinkerr 2

Friday 20 January 2012 7:21

the worst part would be if his hand smelled like shit after your loud fart.. them he might not look u in the eyes. but also he sounds like a perv so probably liked the combo! lol

OrangePineapple 0

Monday 23 January 2012 5:04

BAHAHAHAHAHAHA ew

LOVEPINK143 1

Tuesday 7 February 2012 16:34

I suggest you change your name and move to antarctica.

random1368 0

Wednesday 8 February 2012 18:30

What a douche. I would have just laughed, a fart is natural and should'nt be a deal breaker.

Steelersman 9

Wednesday 22 February 2012 2:26

FYL

cardinal_jade 5

Saturday 16 June 2012 16:03

Did you give him pink eye? Lol

Keywords

Work Mental health Relatable Students Parenting Kids Embarrassing Love Awkward Wanker Family Intimacy AITA First Dates Singing Animals Cats Public freakouts Weddings Bodyshaming Cops Cars Transportation Sex Sexism Health Growing old Periods Job interview Education

The Top

Today, a police officer pulled me over while I was riding my high performance motorbike. He asked if I knew why he'd pulled me over. It was too tempting to resist at the time, but in hindsight telling him ,“Because I let you?” was not the best idea I’ve ever had. Cops have no sense of humour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 125

You deserved it 703

Today, my best friend asked if I'd join him and his girlfriend for a 3-way. Since I've always had a crush on his girlfriend, I eagerly agreed. When I got there, I learned that their idea of a 3-way was them watching me jerk off while I watched them have sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 572

You deserved it 2 671

The Top

Today, when my boyfriend came over he was on his phone. We spent about 15 minutes together before having sex, then he made a phone call and said he had to leave. I could hear him from my window apologising to his coworker because he “just had to do something real quick but was now free to talk again.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 333

You deserved it 135

Today, I woke up and decided that I no longer give a fuck what I look like. Today is also the day a very attractive exchange student joined my private band lessons. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 550

You deserved it 12 880

Today, I found out my girlfriend is bulimic. Like that wasn't bad enough, I found out because she spent all of our rent money on food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 078

You deserved it 3 702

Today, after changing his mind 3 times, my long distance fiancé told me he wasn't coming to see me for Thanksgiving. Out of anger, I threw his clothes, car magazines, and whatever else I could find in a huge, messy pile. During this, he walked into the room. He was going to surprise me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 717

You deserved it 48 246

Today, I got bitten by my aunt's dog. My brother was holding the leash. He said he didn't pull the dog away from me because he didn't want to rip my shirt. Meanwhile, the dog was biting a penny-sized chunk out of my hip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 076

You deserved it 2 787

Today, I found out that getting caught in a barbed wire fence isn't as bad as it sounds. Running through a forest at night, tripping over one, rolling down an embankment, and getting swiped by a car, however, is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 290

You deserved it 7 401

Same thing different taste

Good bye!

My body hates me

Top comments

Comments