Today, my brother has two broken arms and needs help wiping his...

By Anonymous - 03/07/2019 20:02

Today, my brother has two broken arms and needs help wiping his own ass. Bonus, he has bad diarrhoea from the food poisoning he got from the shrimp he made me hand-feed him yesterday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 942

You deserved it 177

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Same thing different taste

When pranking goes too far

By Anonymous - 27/03/2021 20:01

Today, my husband has both arms broken, and I have to help him in the bathroom. Not the problem. My girlfriends and I have been pranking each other lately and it's been fun, but they decided to slip my husband slip him some laxatives so that I would have to clean him him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 045

You deserved it 172

By Anonymous - 15/07/2019 14:00

Today, as revenge for a prank I played on him last week, my brother took things way too far and loaded my milkshake with so many chocolate laxatives, I’m now in hospital. I’ve had so much diarrhoea in the past few hours, I’m dangerously dehydrated and had to be put on a saline drip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 012

You deserved it 337

By oh for f*cks sake - 20/03/2017 12:00 - Czech Republic - Prague

Today, my baby brother learned to remove his nappy. He immediately used this new skill to shit all over my room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 817

You deserved it 410

Stay classy, bro

By Anonymous - 07/08/2020 02:02

Today, my brother got sick with a stomach bug. He didn’t even quit his game to throw up in the toilet and instead threw up straight on the carpet. It sat there for hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 577

You deserved it 150

TMI, dude

By Anonymous - 23/11/2018 16:00 - United States - Cranford

Today, my brother met my girlfriend for the first time. Instead of making a good first impression, the first thing he did was talk about how he just took a massive dump and didn't wipe very well, and that's why his hand smelled bad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 280

You deserved it 247

Check this bad boy out

By Anonymous - 06/06/2012 12:55 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, my brother, a plumber, was called to unblock a toilet. Whenever this occurs, he takes a photo of it and sends it to me. It always seems to happen around meal time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 977

You deserved it 2 331

By utensils123 - 09/02/2010 06:40 - Australia

Today, I discovered my brother likes to use our kitchen utensils to scratch his private areas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 342

You deserved it 2 318

By thisisbad - 12/10/2009 14:21 - Malaysia

Today, I was in the toilet when somebody started banging on the door loudly. I panicked and immediately cleaned my self and opened the door. As I opened the door, my brother vomited all over me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 989

You deserved it 2 781

Two rooms, two atmospheres

By Anonymous - 26/11/2020 16:58

Today, I tried to cook a nice meal for my sister's friends. It turned out perfect and they enjoyed it, while I was in the bathroom throwing up for two hours due to food poisoning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 792

You deserved it 149

You went too far

By Dia - 02/05/2021 05:01

Today, I tried to prank my brother with the butter floor prank after coming back from work. As a result, my brother stepped out of ER with an arm cast, stitches on his head and a neck collar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 158

You deserved it 2 178

skippydoda 32

Thursday 4 July 2019 1:21

There isn't anything you could give me that would make me wipe my brother's ass.

Mungolikecandy 19

Wednesday 3 July 2019 22:55

Get a hose and hose him down. It will be far cleaner than wiping.

Comments

wanted_2_want 40

Wednesday 3 July 2019 21:36

Not really a “bonus” since you’ll be wiping his ass more often now. And I’m sure you need to pull down/up his pants too.

Yudith 24

Wednesday 3 July 2019 23:48

Just put him in a kilt. No pants to pull down, plus it's way faster for him to sit on the toilet when the urge comes.

Mungolikecandy 19

Wednesday 3 July 2019 22:55

Get a hose and hose him down. It will be far cleaner than wiping.

skippydoda 32

Thursday 4 July 2019 1:21

There isn't anything you could give me that would make me wipe my brother's ass.

waffles42088 12

Thursday 4 July 2019 1:37

That’s a pretty crappy situation. But when it come to being the best sibling you are the shit.

Nhayaa 21

Thursday 4 July 2019 6:25

Could be a good timing to invest in these hightech japanese toilets with a cleaning system...

wmayrhofer 18

Thursday 4 July 2019 6:57

Hand feed you say? Maybe the bacteria came from your hands and not from the shrimp.. full circle

queenpowow 2

Friday 5 July 2019 6:28

Get him a bidet toilet seat

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