Intimacy: Today, my boyfriend started freaking out about how his penis...

By bathtime - 21/12/2011 04:32 - United States

Today, my boyfriend started freaking out about how his penis floats in water. Baths with him will never be the same again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 929

You deserved it 4 206

May weddings: Love and blunders
Weddings are supposed to be perfect, but our stories show that perfection can sometimes be... surprising! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

It's a witch!

By umm... - 30/03/2020 23:00 - Australia - Canberra

Today, I caught my boyfriend in the bathtub interrogating his penis and "drowning" it when it wouldn't answer him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 813

You deserved it 334

By Anonymous - 31/12/2010 06:21

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to take our first shower together. When he came into the room, he had swimming trunks on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 313

You deserved it 5 638

By quirrus - 07/05/2012 09:42 - United States

Today, while showering with my boyfriend, he asked if something was weird about his penis. Naturally, I looked closer. As soon as I did, he sprayed my face with urine. This is only the beginning; we just moved in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 052

You deserved it 9 817

By Pissy - 23/05/2019 06:05

Today, I thought my boyfriend wanted to be romantic by pouring a bath, getting in then calling me in. As I get comfortable, he stands up and gets out. At the same time, I notice yellow water. He'd pissed in the tub for a joke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 351

You deserved it 224

Wet noodle

By Anonymous - 01/08/2021 14:01

Today, my boyfriend told me he doesn't like having sex with me, because I get too wet and it makes him go limp. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 558

You deserved it 103

By Anonymous - 27/11/2010 05:57 - Australia

Today, my boyfriend confessed that he felt so insecure he submerged my $80 vibrator in water to eliminate the competition. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 295

You deserved it 15 550

By dickofbrokendreams - 02/03/2015 05:14 - United States - Waynesville

Today, I discovered that my fiancé consistently thinks about his fear of breaking his penis while we have sex. He's afraid to have sex with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 013

You deserved it 3 476

By journey_Jeanne - 08/12/2011 02:31 - United States

Today, I told my boyfriend I was ovulating. He said he didn't want to have sex because he was afraid of getting eggs on his penis. He then compared it to having sex with a fish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 024

You deserved it 5 151

Who are these people ?

By ShelbyIsAwesome - 04/03/2021 17:01

Today, my boyfriend informed me that he hasn't showered in over a week because he "doesn't like to be wet." FML

I agree, your life sucks 879

You deserved it 132

By Shelby - 14/08/2019 02:00

Today, my boyfriend told me that he hasn't showered in over a week, because he "doesn't like to be wet." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 667

You deserved it 226

MsSoulReaper 27

Wednesday 21 December 2011 8:41

If I had a penis I would so try that.

n_epic_fail 14

Wednesday 21 December 2011 9:12

No you're just an airhead

Comments

kookylocka 0

Wednesday 21 December 2011 15:38

If it can float then maybe it can swim?

thatsmylyfe 13

Wednesday 21 December 2011 15:38

Why is a grown man taking a bath anyway?

katydid91 31

Wednesday 21 December 2011 18:01

Because he was being intimate with his girlfriend!

TheFuckerofShit 16

Wednesday 21 December 2011 16:00

Kind of what a rap song in Step Brothers says.

lmaoatall 6

Wednesday 21 December 2011 16:01

I thought step brothers! Boats and hoes!!!!!

lmaoatall 6

Wednesday 21 December 2011 16:19

Lemonheads nachos on my daddys boat, We won't go down because my dick can float

hateevryone 14

Wednesday 21 December 2011 16:54

umm you guys still take baths?

AnagenisisZagus 13

Wednesday 21 December 2011 17:13

Boooooo! Hiss!

Brainspoil 2

Wednesday 21 December 2011 17:43

This is why 8 year olds shouldn't date.

Webslinger66 10

Wednesday 21 December 2011 18:34

Yeah. Mine does too. It's awesome!

cheerios11 1

Wednesday 21 December 2011 19:15

So penises actually float .... O_

ty1992_farmlife 12

Wednesday 21 December 2011 20:04

I guess soo, didn't think penises could. Never tried it lol

theverks 0

Wednesday 21 December 2011 19:26

That is actually true!!!

Keywords

Work Mental health Students Relatable Kids Parenting Awkward Love Embarrassing Intimacy Wanker Family First Dates AITA Singing Animals Cats Public freakouts Weddings Bodyshaming Transportation Cars Cops Sex Sexism Health Growing old Periods Job interview Education

The Top

Today, I went to a Bat Mitzvah. We played a game where all of the girls grabbed one of their shoes and placed it in the middle. Then, all of the guys had to pick a shoe. Whatever guy picked the shoe, the girl had to dance with. No one picked my shoe. Everyone else was dancing except for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 434

You deserved it 5 100

Ahoy ship's boys and girls ! Today we're heading to France. Be ready to face rain, storm and beer because Lille is welcoming us, and believe me, it's not Los Angeles. Do you all have your raincoats? -Bonjour ! First of all, present yourself ma jol...

I agree, your life sucks 4

You deserved it 6

The Top

Today, my boyfriend and I were planning how to spend the day together. When I suggested we start off with some fun in bed, then get some pizza and play his favorite video game, he sighed, "Can't we just go straight to gaming?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 026

You deserved it 8 443

Today, I went to a job interview. I never applied for the job, they'd sought me out, had a phone interview, and sent samples, all before the face-to-face interview. Turns out none of the people I met with had even read my resume or writing samples. I was told I might not be a good fit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 298

You deserved it 295

Today, when drunk, I became OCD about everything and spent 3 hours making sure that the books on my shelves were straight. I thought that being drunk was supposed to be fun. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 001

You deserved it 9 908

Today, a close friend came over with her three-year-old son. The child used a crayon on the walls, flushed my money down the toilet, and threw up. My friend was seriously offended when I asked her to help me clean everything up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 734

You deserved it 1 760

Today, I found out my upstairs neighbors filed a noise complaint against me for banging on the ceiling every night. They conveniently left out the part where they constantly stomp, shout, and do stuff that sounds like they're dropping bricks to the floor every night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 340

You deserved it 2 896

Today, I went to a Halloween party dressed in Charlie Brown's ghost costume, a white sheet with holes all over. I got beat up for dressing like a member of the KKK. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 917

You deserved it 7 614

Same thing different taste

It's a witch!

Wet noodle

Who are these people ?

Top comments

Comments