Love: Today, my boyfriend of six months called me. He said his mom...

By WoofWoof - 07/12/2009 18:20 - United States

Today, my boyfriend of six months called me. He said his mom was making him choose between having a dog or having a girlfriend. I asked him which one he picked. He went quiet, and I heard barking in the background. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 146

You deserved it 5 006

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Same thing different taste

Bates Motel

By Anonymous - 15/10/2021 08:00

Today, I gave my boyfriend a choice between me and the super creepy codependent almost Norman Bates relationship he has with his mother. Guess which he chose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 870

You deserved it 474

By Anonymous - 18/07/2019 18:00

Today, I asked my wife who she would choose, me or the dog. She chose the dog. No hesitation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 324

You deserved it 982

By llmd - 10/08/2010 04:30 - Canada

Today, I called my boyfriend just to hear his voice since I haven't seen him in a while. His mom picked up and said "Chris isn't here right now, he's with his girlfriend. Do you want to leave him a message." We've been dating for 4 and a half months now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 625

You deserved it 3 985

By Anonymous - 28/07/2015 15:18 - United States - Milford

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me over the phone, after having left me to look after her dog while she went on a 2-week vacation with her family. Now I have to choose between paying for a kennel for her damn dog or taking care of it every day until she gets back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 159

You deserved it 2 441

By justmylife - 21/08/2010 04:05 - United States

Today, my boyfriend of 3 years called my house even though I was with him at the time. He needed to talk to my mom. He asked her to break up with me for him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 732

You deserved it 3 136

By cclllc - 14/08/2012 09:06 - United States - Weatherford

Today, my boyfriend and I broke up. He now argues that he should keep the dog. We only dated for three months, and I've had the dog since I was ten. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 997

You deserved it 2 091

By Anonymous - 01/11/2009 17:43 - United States

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because her mom said she would buy her a pug if she did. I got dumped for a dog, and an ugly one for that matter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 664

You deserved it 6 979

By daddylove - 12/06/2011 04:21 - United States

Today, my boyfriend of 6 months broke up with me. I was crying for over an hour in my room. My dad came in and asked what was wrong. Just as I was about to tell him, he stops me and simply says "Oh, honey. I don't care... Just keep the noise down." Then walks out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 415

You deserved it 6 916

By Afroman720 - 27/07/2015 18:55 - United States

Today, my girlfriend dumped me because her dog "told her to". FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 760

You deserved it 2 887

By TrulyYours - 07/05/2009 12:39 - United States

Today, I was talking to my boyfriend on the phone. After a short pause I hear him say "I love you." Smiling I say, "I love you too." Then he says, "I was talking to my dog." FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 548

You deserved it 5 912

Nocturna_fml 0

Tuesday 8 December 2009 0:01

I'll assume you're both like 10.

polico_wolf 0

Tuesday 8 December 2009 0:03

what kind of mother makes people choose like that?

Comments

noshtshrlk 0

Monday 31 May 2010 22:12

dayumm...

moon21_fml 0

Tuesday 13 July 2010 20:26

He Knows... that dog's not gonna cheat on him laterr XD

yeahiknow0 0

Saturday 14 August 2010 7:56

I'm sorry but this made me laugh

austinninja1700 0

Friday 20 August 2010 0:33

who ever chose the dog over the girl r all probably 40 year old virgins

mad_hatter0666 22

Friday 22 October 2010 1:38

your bf and his mom are idiots. I don't see how one affects the other.

sgracemoore 0

Friday 31 December 2010 22:17

I don't blame him

xX_LilSammie_Xx 4

Friday 21 January 2011 5:24

I'm sorry, how old is he? 12?

heyheyhello 0

Tuesday 15 March 2011 6:03

your name being woof woof just makes this that much funnier :D

devinewind 4

Tuesday 19 April 2011 18:37

The new bitch is easier to control I bet

DatWhiteGuy 0

Saturday 23 April 2011 7:20

Oh man. Failure.

Keywords

Work Management Jealousy Love Mental health Relationship advice Relatable Awkward Miscellaneous Friends Healthy Lifestyle Health Food Ironic Gifts Mother in law Money Birthday Family Public freakouts Education Parents Pranks Students Exams Weird Argument AITA Fear Insects

The Top

Today, I was having sex with my husband. As I was undressing, he said, "Arr, I spy me some booty!" I let it go, I'm used to his embarassing pirate talk. But as he orgasmed, he screamed, "I'VE FOUND THE BURIED TREASURE!" My neighbors heard in the apartment next door and called to let me know. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 200

You deserved it 7 093

Today, I got popcorn when getting groceries. I was excited to see popcorn butter spray on sale and decided to try it. Excited, I made some popcorn while I went to use the can. Butter sprayed like an aerosol can all over my desk and floor. Now, my apartment smells like a movie theater and there's butter EVERYWHERE! FML

I agree, your life sucks 197

You deserved it 337

The Top

Today, my sister and I had a bonding moment. It consisted of me plucking her chin hairs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 968

You deserved it 5 597

Today, my cat tried to escape when I opened my front door. I noticed that whenever I start babbling and making random sounds, he stops dead and just stares at me in confusion, before walking back in. With my luck, however, this time my neighbor heard everything. They walked quickly away, as if they'd seen a ghost. FML

I agree, your life sucks 816

You deserved it 201

Today, the guy I like asked me what he should do for the girl he has a crush on. I told him to give her flowers and tell her how he feels. Later that day my doorbell rang, and he stood there holding flowers. He said the magical words, "My car broke down, can you give me a lift?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 127

You deserved it 5 246

Today, it was Mother’s Day. My mom died when I was young, so I deleted all of my social media, to avoiding seeing all my friends hanging out with their aging, but healthy, loving mothers. Then my dad decided to remind me what day it was and to wish my abusive stepmom a happy Mother’s Day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 280

You deserved it 129

Today, I was at work, when an elderly lady casually mentioned it was her birthday. I motioned two of my coworkers over, and we sang a little happy birthday to her over the phone. Our boss stormed in mid-song and suspended all three of us on the spot for "unprofessional behavior." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 303

You deserved it 2 811

Today, my father gave me and my sister $50 each because he got a bonus and wanted to spread it around. Then he asked for our report cards. My sister did well, but I didn't, barely scraping by on C's. After seeing my report card, he told me to give the $50 back. So, love is conditional, Dad? FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 351

You deserved it 9 752

Same thing different taste

Bates Motel

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