Intimacy: Today, my boyfriend ended sex by yelling, "THIS IS SPARTA!" and... - FML

By Saradee - 24/12/2012 04:55 - United States - Inglewood

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend ended sex by yelling, "THIS IS SPARTA!" and using his foot to push me off the bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 194

You deserved it 10 963

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

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Same thing different taste

This ain't working out

By just a reaction - 17/08/2020 23:09

Today, my boyfriend and I got into a heated argument. He raised his hand like he was going to hit me. Having been hit by my ex before, I panicked and instinctively kicked his legs out from under him. He then dumped me because he said he was just gonna scare me, but I used real violence on him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 005

You deserved it 328

By belljars - 18/04/2014 02:27 - United States - Riverside

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex and in the heat of the moment I cried out for him to go harder. He had an exasperated expression on his face, and in an adamantly offended tone he said, "Don't tell me what to do." Then he stopped and left the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 960

You deserved it 9 117

Cool moves, bro

By Anonymous - 30/06/2012 09:45

Spicy

Today, in an attempt to be sexy, my boyfriend picked me up and threw me down onto the bed. I fell straight through it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 355

You deserved it 5 681

By alltern8ive - 09/11/2009 05:05 - United States

Today, my boyfriend tried to be romantic by dipping me backwards and kissing me. He dropped me on my butt and stepped on my hand while trying to help me up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 300

You deserved it 5 108

By LaLa - 09/01/2012 05:01 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was with my boyfriend, and we started to get a little kinky. He laid me down roughly on the bed, but I started to slide off, so I pulled myself up. In doing so, I managed to knee him in the nut-sack, causing him to puke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 702

You deserved it 7 859

By omgdesdes - 16/11/2014 01:29 - United States - Casselberry

Spicy

Today, after having sex with my boyfriend, he triumphantly flung the condom to the ceiling, only to have it come down and smack me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 699

You deserved it 6 000

Sensitive snowflake

By onepussytwopussy - 07/03/2014 19:47 - United Kingdom - Birmingham

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time, and I tried to be sexy by raking my nails down his back. I guess I did it a little too hard, because he shrieked in pain, leapt off me, and limped around the room cursing and whimpering. Mood ruined. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 397

You deserved it 26 440

By I warned him - 19/12/2014 02:39 - United States - Marietta

Today, I beat my boyfriend in a video game. He promptly dumped me and told me to leave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 099

You deserved it 4 640

By myasshurts - 14/10/2011 23:03 - United States

Spicy

Today, while lying in bed with my boyfriend after some steamy lovemaking, he sat up, slapped my ass with excruciating force, and screamed, "I AM THE THUNDER!" directly into my ear. It seems our senses of humor differ considerably. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 723

You deserved it 6 663

Are you experienced?

By still laughing - 28/08/2015 21:48 - United States - Providence

Spicy

Today, I was going down on my boyfriend when he stood up on the bed to get a different experience. I started to get aggressive and pushed him up against the wall. I forgot our bed was on wheels and the bed started sliding away and his body slid down the wall. So much for being sexy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 474

You deserved it 5 087

Next

Top comments

HeyHeyFishFillet 34

Monday 24 December 2012 9:38

Wear a chastity belt next time and scream," YOU SHALL NOT PASS!"

Roguedork19 8

Monday 24 December 2012 9:44

No, this is Patrick. O.o

Comments

GweedSincE84_fml 15

Monday 24 December 2012 10:18

YES!!! That is effn awesome. I'm sorry op but someday you'll look back on this and laugh.

DanielT1994 19

Monday 24 December 2012 10:19

Then it's hilarious.

DanielT1994 19

Monday 24 December 2012 10:19

Then it's hilarious.

Morqan_Freeman 14

Monday 24 December 2012 10:36

I dont usually laugh, but this was hilarious. I pictured your husband standing on top of the bed looking down on you with such pride and honour. Ahh... poor bastard.

Enslaved 36

Monday 24 December 2012 10:46

It would have been cool if you fell back in slow motion. Providing you didn't get hurt and he was just trying to be a funny jokester.

GweedSincE84_fml 15

Monday 24 December 2012 10:50

Really? Well if it is no longer funny, then how come everyone I showed this fml to including myself laughed? Riddle me that "human decency" aka annarr looking down from that pedestal of yours with judgmental eyes.

anabelgraceaxton_fml 15

Monday 24 December 2012 11:20

Refuse to have sex for a month then.

SirCharles83 13

Monday 24 December 2012 18:48

Hey thats a great idea. Not having sex effects both parties in the relationship.

ClaremoreZebra 8

Monday 24 December 2012 23:22

38, it's than my dear.

jennuhm 4

Monday 24 December 2012 11:21

That's actually kind of funny. Next time do some shit like that to him :}

jennt89 10

Monday 24 December 2012 11:51

What an ass... smh.

SuperDanielNL 23

Monday 24 December 2012 11:51

Are you ******* Gerald Butler?

LSS_fml 18

Monday 24 December 2012 17:53

I wish I was!!

SuperDanielNL 23

Monday 24 December 2012 18:49

Well I wish I wasn't. Everyone has personal preferences I guess. :)

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Keywords

Love Video games Gamers Health Gross Weird First Dates Smells Parents Technology Kids Annoying Jealousy Animals Dogs AITA Pranks Dreams Family Geek Relatable Gun control Money Amazon Birthday Cute Awkward Abuse Social Media Scams

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You deserved it 2 427

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