Love: Today, my boyfriend admitted that the only reason he remembers... - FML

By poopcoloredeyes - 31/10/2011 20:06 - Australia

Today, my boyfriend admitted that the only reason he remembers my eye color is because it's the same shade of his shit after he's had a salad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 196

You deserved it 3 692

May Day: Lily of the Valley and Misunderstandings
When lilies of the valley bring good luck... or not! Discover the stories behind every little bell! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 03/04/2009 14:37 - United States

Today, I was talking to my boyfriend and he brushed my hair out of my eyes. Then he smiled and said "Your eyes are two different colors right now. One's blue, one's green..." I was so happy he still noticed the little things. Then he finished his sentence with "...ya know, like a dog." FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 976

You deserved it 5 858

By shitty situation - 28/01/2013 23:02 - Canada - Toronto

Today, my boyfriend came over for a family brunch, during which he told my mother, in vivid detail, how he gets the shits whenever he eats kale chips. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 994

You deserved it 2 981

By Anonymous - 09/12/2013 22:41 - United States - Lihue

Today, my boyfriend told me I'm beautiful. Before I could thank him, he continued, "Too bad it takes a shit-load of makeup." FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 772

You deserved it 7 721

Thanks

By lucy_g - 02/11/2013 05:06 - United States

Today, I was talking to my boyfriend, feeling pretty low. I said something along the lines of, "You like me even when I look like shit." He replied, "Ah, that's just how you naturally look." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 143

You deserved it 7 297

By pubemilkshake - 08/12/2014 02:12 - United States - Salt Lake City

Today, my boyfriend made me a milkshake. It was pale yellow with some black spots. He told me it was banana and poppy seed. After drinking it, he told me they weren't poppy seeds. They were his pubes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 827

You deserved it 4 904

Not a biology major

By Anonymous - 27/10/2019 04:00

Today, I found out my boyfriend ate glitter. When I asked him why he would do such an insane thing, he replied, "I wanted my jizz to sparkle." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 669

You deserved it 262

By Anonymous - 22/05/2019 22:00

Today, my boyfriend admitted to me that the picture of "him as a baby" is really his son. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 184

You deserved it 168

Well Played

By redhead - 06/07/2017 22:30 - United States - Lima

Today, I found out that my boyfriend of two years is dating another girl. Not only do she and I share the same hair and eye color, but we also happen to have the same first name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 408

You deserved it 426

By Noname - 16/01/2009 20:43 - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me I smell like vegetables. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 622

You deserved it 6 658

Smooth talker

By Kate - 07/03/2009 18:36 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were out to eat. The waiter came and asked what we wanted. My boyfriend said he wanted a cheeseburger and I told the waiter I'd have the same. My boyfriend looked at me and said, "Are you sure you don't want a salad?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 752

You deserved it 8 248

Next

Top comments

SexyHindu 2

Monday 31 October 2011 21:57

What the hell does he put in his salad?

ShakeMeDown 12

Monday 31 October 2011 22:00

Eyes.

Comments

nicolehryn 3

Monday 31 October 2011 23:14

Who would actually willingly say that?

Savra_fml 17

Monday 31 October 2011 23:18

Tell him the only reason you remember he has a dick is because you have to put the toilet seat down every day.

jack_tells_truth 0

Monday 31 October 2011 23:33

You're dating him, you deserve it. Hope ya like his form of compliments

THE_A_TEEN 27

Tuesday 1 November 2011 3:48

Apperantly, your thick skull can't comprehend the behavior patterns of humans and their ability to act. Thank god for psychology.

jack_tells_truth 0

Sunday 6 November 2011 0:37

Apparently*

xicadelaspoesias 9

Monday 31 October 2011 23:36

Savra...that's freaking epic. XD

Mourningstar 4

Monday 31 October 2011 23:37

Guys only remember a girls eye color if he's "In love", apparently this one isn't......

Iffyy 6

Tuesday 1 November 2011 6:47

But he does remember her eye color..

Savra_fml 17

Monday 31 October 2011 23:40

OP, shit on his back and the tell him "careful buddy, i've got my eyes on you!"

ToeJams 0

Monday 31 October 2011 23:44

You know what they say about people with brown eyes; there full of sh!t

FarSide 22

Tuesday 1 November 2011 4:13

Nicely put Brown Eyes.

kiakia0131 23

Monday 31 October 2011 23:47

How romantic of him to say that!

badactor009 0

Monday 31 October 2011 23:47

He is immature. Thoughtless and not very kind as well. Just because you think up something does not mean you need to say it.

KiddNYC1O 20

Tuesday 1 November 2011 0:00

"You didn't just save my life, brown eyes... You made my life worth saving..."

Savra_fml 17

Tuesday 1 November 2011 0:31

"The doctor said if I don't take a dump soon, my constipation could kill me....so I ate the salad you made me....So now, every time I take a shit after eating one of your salads,...I,....I think of your eyes....." *snifs all teary eyed and slowly reaches over for paper*

2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11

Keywords

Transportation Awkward Cars Embarrassing Kids Babysitter Family Relatable Thief Money Mental health Health Depression Work Wanker Bodyshaming Love Annoying Vacation Students Parenting Intimacy AITA First Dates Singing Animals Cats Public freakouts Weddings Cops

The Top

Today, I found out my niece will born in about two weeks. That's nice, right? It is… except for the fact that there will now be FIVE people in my family with a birthday in May. As if trying to plan for four birthday parties in three weeks wasn't bad enough. Why not five? FML

I agree, your life sucks 155

You deserved it 412

Today, I found out my wife of 5 years, with whom we have three kids, is actually my cousin. At a family dinner someone had pointed out how much she looks like my uncle. We laughed until she mentioned that she was adopted from the same town my uncle's ex-wife had a baby. A few questions and a blood test later, we all learned the sick truth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 591

You deserved it 83

The Top

Today, I was turned down for a job as a cashier at Best Buy. I worked like hell to get into and then graduate from one of the top Telecommunication schools in the country. I spent all my time with extracurriculars to help my resume instead of partying like my friends. I can't even be a cashier. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 400

You deserved it 4 274

Today, I was home alone and heard the kitchen tap turn on. Shocked, I turned it off. It continuously kept turning itself on so I set my video phone on it to find out the cause. My cat has learnt to turn it on. I later found said cat teaching another. I have three cats. All my taps are like this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 538

You deserved it 4 594

Today, I stopped to replace a stuffed bear that had fallen from a small memorial for a girl killed nearby. Her mom happened to walk by and thought I was stealing it. She hit me with her purse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 565

You deserved it 2 475

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me, as he'd realised that life is really short, and he's got to enjoy with his friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 730

You deserved it 179

Today, I asked out the girl of my dreams. She was so excited that she had a severe asthma attack and ended up in hospital. Her answer was yes, but her parents won't let me anywhere near her now. They say I'm lucky they haven't sued me for "trying to kill her". FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 083

You deserved it 2 837

Today, I had threesome with my wife and her best friend. Now my wife is mad at me for sleeping with her best friend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 335

You deserved it 1 218