Love: Today, my boyfriend admitted that the only reason he remembers...

By poopcoloredeyes - 31/10/2011 20:06 - Australia

Today, my boyfriend admitted that the only reason he remembers my eye color is because it's the same shade of his shit after he's had a salad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 196

You deserved it 3 692

May Day: Lily of the Valley and Misunderstandings
When lilies of the valley bring good luck... or not! Discover the stories behind every little bell! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 03/04/2009 14:37 - United States

Today, I was talking to my boyfriend and he brushed my hair out of my eyes. Then he smiled and said "Your eyes are two different colors right now. One's blue, one's green..." I was so happy he still noticed the little things. Then he finished his sentence with "...ya know, like a dog." FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 975

You deserved it 5 858

By shitty situation - 28/01/2013 23:02 - Canada - Toronto

Today, my boyfriend came over for a family brunch, during which he told my mother, in vivid detail, how he gets the shits whenever he eats kale chips. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 994

You deserved it 2 980

By Anonymous - 09/12/2013 22:41 - United States - Lihue

Today, my boyfriend told me I'm beautiful. Before I could thank him, he continued, "Too bad it takes a shit-load of makeup." FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 772

You deserved it 7 721

Thanks

By lucy_g - 02/11/2013 05:06 - United States

Today, I was talking to my boyfriend, feeling pretty low. I said something along the lines of, "You like me even when I look like shit." He replied, "Ah, that's just how you naturally look." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 142

You deserved it 7 297

By pubemilkshake - 08/12/2014 02:12 - United States - Salt Lake City

Today, my boyfriend made me a milkshake. It was pale yellow with some black spots. He told me it was banana and poppy seed. After drinking it, he told me they weren't poppy seeds. They were his pubes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 827

You deserved it 4 904

Not a biology major

By Anonymous - 27/10/2019 04:00

Today, I found out my boyfriend ate glitter. When I asked him why he would do such an insane thing, he replied, "I wanted my jizz to sparkle." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 668

You deserved it 262

Well Played

By redhead - 06/07/2017 22:30 - United States - Lima

Today, I found out that my boyfriend of two years is dating another girl. Not only do she and I share the same hair and eye color, but we also happen to have the same first name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 408

You deserved it 426

By Noname - 16/01/2009 20:43 - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me I smell like vegetables. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 622

You deserved it 6 658

Smooth talker

By Kate - 07/03/2009 18:36 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were out to eat. The waiter came and asked what we wanted. My boyfriend said he wanted a cheeseburger and I told the waiter I'd have the same. My boyfriend looked at me and said, "Are you sure you don't want a salad?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 752

You deserved it 8 247

By Anonymous - 15/02/2011 05:50 - United States

Today, during dinner, my family had a discussion about the color of poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 682

You deserved it 4 701

SexyHindu 2

Monday 31 October 2011 21:57

What the hell does he put in his salad?

ShakeMeDown 12

Monday 31 October 2011 22:00

Eyes.

Comments

Cashtangoteam 10

Monday 31 October 2011 21:59

He sure knows how to make a girl feel special

hilary56 0

Monday 31 October 2011 23:06

Or crappy.

trollsemen 8

Monday 31 October 2011 22:00

Must be a beautiful shade...

cheefer 0

Tuesday 1 November 2011 2:19

(I'm naked in my moms room!)

dre_bro11 12

Tuesday 1 November 2011 12:54

(Hopefully not at the same time as your mum!)

pookie18_fml 9

Monday 31 October 2011 22:01

Nice that he memorizes what color his shit is after certain meals...

ThatLooksSticky 16

Monday 31 October 2011 22:52

He probably took a picture with his phone.

pookie18_fml 9

Monday 31 October 2011 23:38

And labels all of the pictures with exactly what he ate beforehand

Hannahguurl 4

Monday 31 October 2011 22:01

Now you know how your bfs shit looks like after a salad. ew. o.O

oA_Fiasco 8

Monday 31 October 2011 22:02

you dumb idiot! lol just kidding, you deserved it!

trollsemen 8

Monday 31 October 2011 22:07

You dumb idiot! Lol just kidding, you're just retarded.

jworret 0

Tuesday 1 November 2011 1:33

lol, is that like supposed to be funny???

eltunas 5

Monday 31 October 2011 22:03

What kind of eye color do you have?

Savra_fml 17

Monday 31 October 2011 22:46

Apparently they are "shat out salad" colour. Did you not read the FML?

SlickWillyTFCF 5

Monday 31 October 2011 22:03

At least he actually remembers.

bigantennaemay 3

Wednesday 2 November 2011 7:51

yeah, but he remembers with his a**.

ReesesPuffs 0

Monday 31 October 2011 22:04

If your eyes are brown, it's all good.

megan_lovee 0

Monday 31 October 2011 22:06

yummmmmm

Feklfekl2222 32

Monday 31 October 2011 22:06

I really want you to have blue eyes

lemon_phat 11

Monday 31 October 2011 23:35

Get those contacts, that have color or whatever.

stacianichole 2

Tuesday 1 November 2011 0:08

..."or whatever."

Keywords

Love Awkward Relatable Students Work Racism Health Cheating Pregnancy Relationship advice Friends Teenagers Embarrassing Sex Intimacy Food Revenge Animals Cats Boredom Management Parenting Kids Sexism Parents Miscellaneous Weird Job interview Facebook Social Media

The Top

Today, I found out my girlfriend has been cheating on me. When I told my sister, she just smiled, held up a closed fist, and said "Look at the number of fucks I give!" She then raised a finger, said "Oops. Finger spasm!" then lowered it again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 604

You deserved it 5 177

Today, my dad told me I'm no longer allowed to see my boyfriend. Apparently there is a deer camera above my driveway that snaps pictures whenever it senses movement. Too bad I didn't know that when I was giving my boyfriend head in the driveway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 382

You deserved it 60 101

The Top

Today, I came home from work to be given $1 by my mother. This normally would have been nice, had my mother not said, "I just sold that ugly old black and white picture frame you always leave lying around in your room." Which also would have been nice if that "frame" wasn't my Kindle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 985

You deserved it 2 379

Today, my neighbor's pesky 7-year-old daughter, who is friends with the guy I really like, decided to help me with him. She used her phone to send him a picture of me. I was in the shower, completely naked and surprised. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 097

You deserved it 771

Today, I overheard my grandpa telling my mom he'd found a load of porn in my laptop's browser history, but that he deleted all the "filth" so she wouldn't have to see it. She believed him and I got grounded, much to his amusement. I've never looked up porn on that computer in my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 476

You deserved it 3 139

Today, I was taking a dump at a public restroom. As I reached over to grab the toilet paper, I realized someone had peed on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 612

You deserved it 2 724

Today, I realised that my social anxiety, fear of people's judgment, social isolation, you name it, have got so bad that I literally have no interests. It got to such a point that I even have nothing to search up in the internet, so I just stare at an empty browser page wondering what should I do with my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 945

You deserved it 193

Today, I moved to Florida because I have poor circulation and need to be in a warm environment. The first day at my new job, I discovered my co-worker is an overweight man who wears a wool suit every day, and insists on keeping the office chilled to 65 degrees. I can't feel my fingers or toes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 621

You deserved it 3 639