Intimacy: Today, most of my family was out of the house, so I took the...

By Nigel - 13/07/2015 21:15 - United States

Today, most of my family was out of the house, so I took the opportunity to go to the bathroom and browse some porn. Five minutes later my sister comes and asks me to disconnect from bluetooth and that my "dinosaur noises" were blocking her and her friend's music. I'm currently hiding in shame. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 460

You deserved it 13 395

May Day: Lily of the Valley and Misunderstandings
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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 26/06/2015 18:08 - Russian Federation - Moscow

Today, my mom kicked my dad out of the house and told him not to come home again. Why? I started watching some porn on my computer, forgetting I was still connected to the bluetooth speakers in the living room. My mom thought it was my dad, and I didn't have the balls to admit the truth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 345

You deserved it 41 556

By wtf - 16/05/2014 22:25 - Australia - Narangba

Today, I started watching porn in my room with the volume muted. A minute later, my dad knocked on the door, so I closed everything and called him in. He just said, "Son, you disgust me." and walked out. Now I'm too paranoid to use my own computer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 599

You deserved it 14 979

Caught spunk-handed

By Anonymous - 28/07/2020 23:01

Today, I was watching porn in the living room with the volume turned up, because I was under the impression that my family had already left for vacation. It turns out my cousin and his girlfriend were upstairs the entire time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 664

You deserved it 2 195

By ConfusedDad - 29/12/2013 07:01 - United States

Today, I went to my bedroom for some alone time while my daughter watched TV. I didn't realize that my iPad was still connected to the Apple TV, until I hit play on some porn and heard a scream from the other room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 518

You deserved it 59 057

By shittysongs - 07/03/2013 02:39 - United States - Bothell

Today, I was so bored at a dinner party that I went to the bathroom to play games on my phone. One of my co-workers came in, so I rushed into a stall, but forgot to turn my phone's sound off. She heard it and said, "It's OK, music helps me shit too" and started blasting her music and grunting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 902

You deserved it 7 102

Surprise !

By Shrekkk - 02/07/2019 06:14

Today, I accidentally connected my phone to my mum's headphones while watching porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 818

You deserved it 2 573

By Brea - 01/02/2011 18:50 - United States

Today, I wanted to annoy my sister by playing the air horn app on my iPhone. I forgot that I had headphones in. Let's just say I quickly had to change my underwear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 856

You deserved it 68 635

By Bluetooth Connection - 01/10/2018 03:00

Today, I sat in the bathroom on my phone to rub one out after a long day. Wanting to hear the action, I upped the volume until the sound was low enough for me to hear, despite the volume being near max. I continued until I realized my phone was connected to my headset outside near my family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 541

You deserved it 4 458

Bad pranks are annoying

By Anonymous - 17/01/2020 20:00

Today, my sister snuck into the bathroom while I was in the shower (the lock is broken) and took my clothes and towels. I came out and quickly went to my room. As I went in, my sister was sitting on my bed with two friends watching TV. I instantly covered up, but they saw everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 680

You deserved it 311

WTF are you doing?

By Anonymous - 27/11/2019 18:00 - United States

Today, I heard my sister masturbating in her room. I took the dog around the block to get out of the house, and I came back to see her leaving her room. She had my electric toothbrush in her hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 681

You deserved it 295

skittles73 14

Tuesday 14 July 2015 8:13

What kind of **** do you watch?

kells1124 14

Tuesday 14 July 2015 8:11

at least she didn't know what it actually was!

Comments

MrThump 16

Tuesday 14 July 2015 8:36

You watch dinosaur **** in the bathroom?

swanheart 35

Tuesday 14 July 2015 8:44

Reading the fml it sounds like op was the one making dinosaur noises, which is possibly more disturbing.

dezman2000 21

Tuesday 14 July 2015 8:58

Watching dinosaur **** is as disturbing as it can get, honestly

Fmlsea 28

Tuesday 14 July 2015 12:15

i dont know i think my little pony ****, would be more distrubing then dinasouar ****.

deathshead 19

Tuesday 14 July 2015 13:27

agreed

psychopolarbear 28

Tuesday 14 July 2015 20:43

Depends on the dinosaur. If it's some kind of Barney shit, I might actually think the ponies would be less creepy.

worldclassrager 39

Tuesday 14 July 2015 8:58

Your YDI is from the word most...never browse unless everyone is asleep or gone...

fmyhardon 16

Tuesday 14 July 2015 9:03

Please come back and explain "dinosaur noise"

ProfessorMctitie 20

Tuesday 14 July 2015 9:16

Least you have a gift of sounding like a dinosaur when masturbating

TahoeFMler 22

Tuesday 14 July 2015 9:53

Stupid ass. You deserve that.

Sillsallad 15

Tuesday 14 July 2015 10:24

Why do you even use Bluetooth?

MrConcise 34

Tuesday 14 July 2015 10:38

This is the only logical response to this FML. Unrelated, I'm surprised there hasn't been a "lickalotapuss" joke considering this is the only relevant FML to use it on.

ChibiChibi_fml 27

Tuesday 14 July 2015 21:07

A lot of people use Bluetooth for music or speaker phone. It's perfectly reasonable if you are the type who uses your phone as an MP3 player and all that. In this case the OP just forgot their phone was paired from a previous use.