Love: Today, just after waking up, I caught a glimpse of my girlfriend...

By Harry Dare - 02/09/2011 16:31 - United Kingdom

Today, just after waking up, I caught a glimpse of my girlfriend in the mirror. Not knowing I was awake, she sniffed at her armpits, started gagging, then quietly came back to bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 986

You deserved it 4 320

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Same thing different taste

By hotboxed - 13/07/2019 18:30

Today, while we were sleeping, my girlfriend and I rolled to opposite sides of the bed. When I woke up, I moved closer and wrapped my arm around her. Her response was to fart in her sleep, resulting in a smell so noxious that I had no choice but to roll back to the other side. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 600

You deserved it 385

By SkinsCastSelection - 17/01/2011 09:53 - France

Today, in the middle of the night, my girlfriend whispered "Are you asleep?" I chose not to respond, to see what she'd do. She then let rip a loud, stinking fart, giggled, and went back to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 104

You deserved it 41 480

By jimbop - 23/05/2009 17:48 - Canada

Today, I was cuddling in bed with my girlfriend after a night of heavy drinking. She rolled towards me, looked me in the eyes and sweetly said, "I love you". Her morning breath was so bad that I had to jump up and rush to the bathroom to vomit, leaving a trail along the way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 890

You deserved it 10 314

By pikachu - 20/01/2009 20:00 - United States

Today, my girlfriend farted in her sleep, woke me up because it was so damn loud, and my room smelt like rotten noodles for about an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 566

You deserved it 4 531

By allgassedout - 04/01/2015 00:23 - United States - Sacramento

Today, I was lying in bed with my girlfriend. Trying to be romantic, I complimented her on how nice her hair smelled. She replied: "Yeah? Wait till you smell this." then let out the vilest, most nauseating fart I'd ever smelled in my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 384

You deserved it 7 341

By Gas-pingForAir - 19/09/2016 08:59 - United States - Columbia

Today, my girlfriend managed to trap a fart in her nightgown and carry it all the way from the bathroom, into our bedroom, and finally into our bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 768

You deserved it 1 668

Ouch!

By P0wned - 29/09/2009 21:21 - France

Today, in the middle of the night, I was punched in the face by my frightened girlfriend, who had just been awoken by her own fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 961

You deserved it 5 269

Creeped out

By HadToApologize - 03/11/2009 05:20 - United States

Today, I took a shower at my girlfriend's apartment. I was wandering around, gathering my clothes when I noticed my girl doing her hair in the other room. She looked sort of peculiar, so I stood there, studying her. Half naked. I then realized it wasn't my girlfriend, but her roommate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 371

You deserved it 23 060

Dirty sex

By Anonymous - 20/11/2022 06:00 - Canada - Burlington

Today, I was in my girlfriend's room when she walked in after getting out of the shower, wearing just a towel. She removed it and I was inches away from going down on her when I noticed she hadn’t wiped properly, either before or after her shower. She'd complained about stomach problems earlier, but regardless… FML

I agree, your life sucks 942

You deserved it 126

Really heavy sleeper

By Anonymous - 17/12/2021 01:01 - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend revealed that last night she decided to 'test how asleep I was' by putting her finger up my nose as far as she could. Then in my mouth. Then in my ear. Then back in my mouth. I slept through the whole thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 891

You deserved it 131

ThatGenericGuy 6

Friday 2 September 2011 23:44

Admit it, that turned you on.

enonymous 8

Friday 2 September 2011 23:48

She probably has to put up with your Dutch ovens. Only fair

Comments

sougstad 7

Saturday 3 September 2011 0:15

Leave deodorant under her pillow and give her extra for Xmas!!!

structuredchaoz 4

Saturday 3 September 2011 0:19

Everyone does it. Chances are you scratch your balls and smell your hands too. Don't be so dramatic.

ngarcia333 0

Sunday 4 September 2011 0:27

Rofl so true

minaza79 0

Saturday 3 September 2011 0:23

That's just nasty

bettyc4 26

Saturday 3 September 2011 0:28

OMG I DIDN'T KNOW YOU WERE WATCHING ME!!!!!!!!! =O

vi3tno_romeo 5

Saturday 3 September 2011 3:08

el oh el !

MyEpicDemise 7

Saturday 3 September 2011 0:32

You should've gagged when she got back in bed, but still pretend that you're sleeping.

bullrider92 19

Saturday 3 September 2011 3:17

That or let out a big fart.

crinx034 0

Saturday 3 September 2011 0:37

If she cared then she wouldn't be stinking in the first place and try using deodorant.

mrahhhhh 21

Saturday 3 September 2011 0:43

I automatically thought of a female hippie as soon as I finished reading this FML.

mrahhhhh 21

Saturday 3 September 2011 0:46

I automatically thought of a female hippie as soon as I finished reading this.

mrahhhhh 21

Saturday 3 September 2011 1:36

Damn glitchy comment system! Just ignore this post and the one it's replying to.

Madiluvsyuh98 2

Saturday 3 September 2011 0:48

Ooh :) how attractive

tmcg117 1

Saturday 3 September 2011 0:51

Keeper!!

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I was babysitting this 12 year old. We were watching a movie, and he was being an angel just laying with his head in my lap. He fell asleep so I closed my eyes and had a little nap. When I woke up he had taken my shirt off and was feeling up my boobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 263

You deserved it 14 936

Today, I was eating out with a group of friends and my boyfriend. During the meal, I accidentally took a sip from my male friend's glass. My boyfriend pointed and said, "Babe, you took his drink." My friend responded by putting his arm round me and saying, "Whatever, I took her virginity." FML

I agree, your life sucks 72 090

You deserved it 18 232

The Top

Today, I figured out why my doctor repeatedly warned me to keep regular bowel movements while I recover from childbirth. I now have an anal fissure. It's like giving birth all over again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 772

You deserved it 4 420

Today, my boss came back from a 2 week vacation. I was the only one covering for him, and I did an excellent job. It was my chance to get a promotion. I actually improved his sales while he was gone. But the only thing he noticed was that I killed his plant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 187

You deserved it 5 153

Today, I learned that my 76 year-old great aunt likes to swim naked, even when I have friends over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 745

You deserved it 2 033

Today, I don’t ask much, just a bit of peace and my armchair, but now I don’t get either since my wife rescued a pitbull that weighs 8 stone, barks constantly and hates me. The first night it was here, it sat on my chair and bit me when I tried to move it, then overnight tore my chair to bits. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 117

You deserved it 160

Today, I've been bedridden with the flu for two weeks. My boyfriend only got concerned because I haven't done any laundry, and was worried about what the girls at the coffee shop across from work would think if he turned up wearing the same clothes two days in a row. FML

I agree, your life sucks 919

You deserved it 123

Today, at WalMart, I saw a guy taping a sign that read "Hide and seek world champs!" over the lost children board. I chased him out of the store, then came back to take it down. As I was trying to remove the sign, a huge crowd began cursing at me and threatening me. They thought I'd made the sign. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 655

You deserved it 5 016

Same thing different taste

Ouch!

Creeped out

Dirty sex

Really heavy sleeper

Top comments

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