Kids: Today, it's my first Halloween in America since moving from Russia....

By VladyBoi - 01/11/2011 00:18 - United States

Today, it's my first Halloween in America since moving from Russia. While handing candy to children, my roommate told me to compliment a little girl by saying "You have a face only a parent could love". I found out it isn't a compliment when I was punched by her Dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 266

You deserved it 5 725

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 31/10/2010 00:00 - United States

Today, a kid came Trick-or-Treating at my house. When I told her it was still one more day until Halloween, and that I didn't have any candy, she wound-up her fist, punched me in the groin, and ran off laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 419

You deserved it 4 056

By Username - 12/11/2011 02:04 - United States

Today, a kid came trick or treating to my house. When I told him Halloween was nearly two weeks ago, his reaction was to savagely kick me in the shin and run off screaming obscenities. This is the same kid who broke down in tears when I gave him candy on the real Halloween. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 994

You deserved it 2 884

By Anonymous - 08/05/2009 03:02 - Canada

Today, I was at a restaurant when I heard a young girl telling her father she didn't think she was pretty. When I got up to leave, I walked past her table and told her she was beautiful. Her dad then punched me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 999

You deserved it 16 499

By That Guy - 01/11/2014 12:58 - United States - Tampa

Today, I realized why the lady I had complimented the night before on Halloween about her amazing one-armed costume, looked so hurt. She is literally missing an arm. I'm an asshole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 610

You deserved it 14 237

By Anonymous - 31/10/2009 23:37 - United States

Today, it was Halloween, and I was giving candy to kids. When a group of kids who looked like they were around 4 years old came up to me and said, "Hey mister, do you have one of those things that make it look like you are fat under your shirt?" I didn't have one of those, but I lied and said, "Yes." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 026

You deserved it 6 535

By for fuck sake dad - 02/11/2012 23:50 - Ireland - Limerick

Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my parents. My dad looked at him and said, "Nice outfit, but it's a little late for Halloween." Before I could intervene, my boyfriend said that joke had been done to death, to which my dad retorted, "Yeah, so has your mum." Instant fistfight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 974

You deserved it 3 458

By NoSpirit - 01/11/2012 08:20

Today, in the spirit of Halloween and to get back at a child who repeatedly pressed the doorbell until I showed up, I quickly opened the door and yelled "Boo!" The child ended up being carried away crying with wet pants by a mother threatening to sue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 032

You deserved it 5 248

By Heggs - 31/10/2018 17:30

Today, it's Halloween. I get bullied every day and this was no exception, but this time I got beat up so hard I bled. Everyone thought it was part of my costume. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 026

You deserved it 207

By laughxlove - 23/08/2010 04:03 - United States

Today, I went to see my mother with my kids. Before, I had told my son to give her hugs and kisses and I would buy him candy. He did, but then he told her that I said that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 814

You deserved it 32 934

By ilovekids? - 12/12/2015 02:05 - United States - Commack

Today, while I was working at a supermarket, a kid started to cry in line because he couldn't get candy. Since we have free lollipops behind the desk, I gave him one. His mom complained to my manager and said I was grooming her child. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 103

You deserved it 5 996

alpaquette91 9

Tuesday 1 November 2011 8:53

Punch your roommate! Make him/her suffer too!

Mass89 0

Tuesday 1 November 2011 9:43

who else read this FML while doing a russian accent? :D

Comments

mrahhhhh 21

Tuesday 1 November 2011 9:48

You should be "Russian" to beat the crap out of your roommate.

Ray_of_midnight 22

Tuesday 1 November 2011 9:49

Welcome to America! Wow, that was pretty mean, to set you up like that.

omg_itssally 0

Tuesday 1 November 2011 10:04

Your roommate's a douche.. that was mean to both you and the little girl.

RandomB 0

Tuesday 1 November 2011 10:13

Ur roommate is a douche

Isoldael 27

Tuesday 1 November 2011 10:14

If only she'd been wearing a full mask. Then it really could have been a compliment :p

Kiki242 19

Tuesday 1 November 2011 11:38

Welcome to the USA. Your roomie needs a beat down.

robincakes94 8

Tuesday 1 November 2011 11:40

You must be really bad at English then, because everything you were told to say was simple English.

silverhelms 5

Tuesday 1 November 2011 12:28

In soviet Russia

jonn090 13

Tuesday 1 November 2011 12:29

Smoking weed solves everything ;)

Funny14u 0

Tuesday 1 November 2011 15:07

I Agree

Okayitwasme 0

Tuesday 1 November 2011 16:50

It's an Evil plan. Conspiracy to have all Americans on weed, then BAM! Your taken over and all your freedom is revoked! Haven't you been watching the X-Files??