Kids: Today, it's my first Halloween in America since moving from Russia....

By VladyBoi - 01/11/2011 00:18 - United States

Today, it's my first Halloween in America since moving from Russia. While handing candy to children, my roommate told me to compliment a little girl by saying "You have a face only a parent could love". I found out it isn't a compliment when I was punched by her Dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 267

You deserved it 5 725

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 31/10/2010 00:00 - United States

Today, a kid came Trick-or-Treating at my house. When I told her it was still one more day until Halloween, and that I didn't have any candy, she wound-up her fist, punched me in the groin, and ran off laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 420

You deserved it 4 056

By Username - 12/11/2011 02:04 - United States

Today, a kid came trick or treating to my house. When I told him Halloween was nearly two weeks ago, his reaction was to savagely kick me in the shin and run off screaming obscenities. This is the same kid who broke down in tears when I gave him candy on the real Halloween. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 994

You deserved it 2 885

By Anonymous - 08/05/2009 03:02 - Canada

Today, I was at a restaurant when I heard a young girl telling her father she didn't think she was pretty. When I got up to leave, I walked past her table and told her she was beautiful. Her dad then punched me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 000

You deserved it 16 499

By That Guy - 01/11/2014 12:58 - United States - Tampa

Today, I realized why the lady I had complimented the night before on Halloween about her amazing one-armed costume, looked so hurt. She is literally missing an arm. I'm an asshole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 610

You deserved it 14 237

By Anonymous - 31/10/2009 23:37 - United States

Today, it was Halloween, and I was giving candy to kids. When a group of kids who looked like they were around 4 years old came up to me and said, "Hey mister, do you have one of those things that make it look like you are fat under your shirt?" I didn't have one of those, but I lied and said, "Yes." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 027

You deserved it 6 535

By for fuck sake dad - 02/11/2012 23:50 - Ireland - Limerick

Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my parents. My dad looked at him and said, "Nice outfit, but it's a little late for Halloween." Before I could intervene, my boyfriend said that joke had been done to death, to which my dad retorted, "Yeah, so has your mum." Instant fistfight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 975

You deserved it 3 460

By NoSpirit - 01/11/2012 08:20

Today, in the spirit of Halloween and to get back at a child who repeatedly pressed the doorbell until I showed up, I quickly opened the door and yelled "Boo!" The child ended up being carried away crying with wet pants by a mother threatening to sue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 033

You deserved it 5 249

By Heggs - 31/10/2018 17:30

Today, it's Halloween. I get bullied every day and this was no exception, but this time I got beat up so hard I bled. Everyone thought it was part of my costume. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 026

You deserved it 207

By laughxlove - 23/08/2010 04:03 - United States

Today, I went to see my mother with my kids. Before, I had told my son to give her hugs and kisses and I would buy him candy. He did, but then he told her that I said that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 814

You deserved it 32 936

By ilovekids? - 12/12/2015 02:05 - United States - Commack

Today, while I was working at a supermarket, a kid started to cry in line because he couldn't get candy. Since we have free lollipops behind the desk, I gave him one. His mom complained to my manager and said I was grooming her child. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 103

You deserved it 5 996

alpaquette91 9

Tuesday 1 November 2011 8:53

Punch your roommate! Make him/her suffer too!

Mass89 0

Tuesday 1 November 2011 9:43

who else read this FML while doing a russian accent? :D

Comments

krissehpixeh 6

Monday 14 November 2011 10:43

That is SUCH a douche move. I hope you got them back,

blueice4all 4

Monday 21 November 2011 6:37

Omg how funny!

YagerMiester95 8

Wednesday 23 November 2011 23:28

Yea man. In America you have to be really careful around children.

Meddler09 6

Thursday 29 December 2011 4:31

Your roommate is just upset because they have heard that too many times.

brian345 5

Thursday 5 January 2012 7:16

lmfao!!

ThisBeAUsername 6

Tuesday 3 April 2012 1:28

Aww :(

doglover100 28

Friday 12 October 2012 2:14

That is so not a compliment. Get back at your roommate.

LulusLemon 8

Wednesday 7 November 2012 21:10

your English seems to be pretty good, you couldn't really figure out what that actually meant? I don't buy it

junefairy_fml 10

Friday 19 April 2013 6:37

haha I think you will find this funny. I moved to Russia from America when I was 8 and my new Russian friend told me to go tell a group of kids that they were "duraks" lol messing with foreigners, right? I would never be so mean though. And that was awful of them. Halloween can be awesome!