Miscellaneous: Today, I woke up to an unfamiliar male face right beside mine....

By Anonymous - 27/12/2009 03:09 - Canada

Today, I woke up to an unfamiliar male face right beside mine. I flipped out fell of my 4 foot raised bed and got a concussion. Who, you may ask, was in my bed? My Robert Pattinson pillowcase. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 518

You deserved it 71 414

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 20/10/2016 13:17 - United Kingdom - Maidstone

Today, I woke up to find my face covered in scratches, some of them bleeding. I was rather puzzled, as I don't have a cat. Then I realised that the feathers in my pillow had stuck out and scratched my face. I was attacked by my own pillow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 342

You deserved it 1 136

By imawesomeokay - 20/07/2013 05:53 - Mexico - Zapopan

Today, I went to watch a movie. In the middle of it, I accidentally fell asleep. Minutes later, I awoke on a stranger's shoulder. He was caressing my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 228

You deserved it 10 954

Panic!

By sweetdreams - 18/09/2016 06:39 - United States - New York

Today, I woke up suddenly with giant bugs biting my legs. I screamed, ripped the blanket off the bed and bolted to the bathroom to recover. Turns out it was all a dream, and the person who needed to recover most was my shell-shocked boyfriend who had been sleeping soundly beside me. Sorry, babe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 772

You deserved it 1 401

By breeeeeh - 21/06/2013 22:18 - France - Brou-sur-chantereine

Today, I woke up to a stranger in my bed. Just as my parents responded to my screaming, I remembered that I'd helped my boyfriend sneak in through my window last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 679

You deserved it 69 921

By girlymae - 27/02/2013 07:59 - Canada - Winnipeg

Today, I was in bed when I rolled over and saw a hand right beside my head. I freaked out and nearly peed myself, just to realize that it was the huggable heart pillow my boyfriend had given to me on Valentine's Day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 451

You deserved it 24 020

By Anonymous - 24/08/2016 14:26

Today, I woke up to my husband's face. That'd be nice if he hadn't turned his eyelids inside out, waiting to scare me. I was scared alright. So scared that I pissed myself and broke my side table falling out of bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 282

You deserved it 1 460

By Secretlypossessed - 29/10/2018 03:00

Today, I was awoken to a punch in the face. My boyfriend said I was giggling in my sleep and he thought I was possessed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 962

You deserved it 276

By SoVeryMonday - 30/11/2009 18:01 - Canada

Today, we rearranged the bedroom and my boyfriend and I switched sides of the bed. When the alarm went off, he got confused as to which side the clock was on. Instead of hitting the snooze button like he normally does, he hit me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 152

You deserved it 9 520

Didn't see ya there

By AylaMarie92 - 09/11/2021 13:59

Today, like every other day, I suffer from insomnia. On returning to the bedroom after a very late night shower to hopefully get some rest, I sat on my cat. I jumped up quickly and smacked my face against the cupboard. I then looked back to see if she was OK. I'd sat on my Squishmallow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 919

You deserved it 302

By Anonymous - 03/01/2010 16:35 - United States

Today, I was lying in bed, staring at the ceiling with the lights off. It was 1AM, and I'd just finished watching a scary movie, so I was a little paranoid. I was about to fall asleep, when an eerie light lit the room. I jumped, got tangled in the sheets, and hit my head against the bed frame. Where'd the light come from? Not a space ship. Not someone breaking in. It was my phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 558

You deserved it 29 175

caancoha 0

Sunday 27 December 2009 9:06

Oh, look. He's watching you sleep.

IMB916 0

Sunday 27 December 2009 9:16

YDI for having such bad taste in men.

Comments

BrownSugar_fml 5

Sunday 27 December 2009 9:46

men who like Robert pattison.... although it might be a bad thing, unless you're into that....

cherylface 13

Sunday 27 December 2009 10:08

Ugh, FML put my comment in the wrong place.

borabora1991 0

Sunday 27 December 2009 9:48

When I was younger, I had a couple of pillow cases with Pongo and Perdita on them, from 101 Dalmatians... ...although I didn't do the things with my pillow cases that you probably do with yours..

fobchick 0

Sunday 27 December 2009 9:55

I love Robert Pattinson, he is soooo gorgeous I would totally **** him. Yummy!

nishi_fml 0

Sunday 27 December 2009 9:58

I just vomited. Thank you.

cherylface 13

Sunday 27 December 2009 10:10

Please refrain from having your ****-tastic grossness explode all over the internet.

borabora1991 0

Sunday 27 December 2009 10:15

Would you do a mutt roaming the city streets scrounging around in garbage cans for food? Because they pretty much look the same.

zaphilia 0

Monday 28 December 2009 2:45

That doesn't mean he'd be willing to get within 100 feet of you...

Firesprite2009 0

Tuesday 29 December 2009 4:42

e.o Ah. You're one of them. You people are probably the reason he's one of the most hated men in the world.

LissaMccracken 23

Tuesday 17 December 2013 4:32

That is seriously a creepy thing to say...

lolsan 0

Sunday 27 December 2009 10:07

Thats ******* creepy and disturbing.

michelleyily 0

Sunday 27 December 2009 10:09

R. Pattetson has a wierd nipple !

cherylface 13

Sunday 27 December 2009 10:12

That's funny, because I had a friend mention that tonight. I never paid any attention to them.

Brooklynxman 0

Sunday 27 December 2009 10:27

Wow. Just wow. I'm not going to count how many ways you deserve it, but chief is you are a twitard in the fullest sense of the having creepy pillow case covers of Robert Pattinson.