Miscellaneous: Today, I woke up to a loud crashing in the middle of the night....

By nopissleft - 20/12/2013 21:05 - Sweden - Stockholm

Today, I woke up to a loud crashing in the middle of the night. I went to investigate, but found nothing amiss. Nothing except an axe firmly wedged in my front door, that is. It's safe to say that I have no clue who did it, and that I needed a fresh pair of underwear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 014

You deserved it 2 924

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Same thing different taste

By why me - 24/10/2017 01:30

Today, someone broke into my house and stole all of my underwear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 308

You deserved it 285

Put it all back

By WTFwhywouldyoudothat - 22/08/2011 22:10 - United Kingdom

Today, my house got broken into. Thankfully, they didn't steal anything. They did, however, move things around into strange places and mess up my underwear. I have severe OCD, so this is probably worse than if they had taken everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 080

You deserved it 4 369

Paranoia

By Anonymous - 24/05/2022 00:00 - Australia

Today, when I got up for work, I went into the bathroom and saw a coat hanger sitting in the crack of the window. I had a panic attack, thinking someone had tried to break in and grabbed a knife. I ran into the room where my boyfriend was sleeping and he said he put it there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 610

You deserved it 285

Surprise!

By BadKitty - 11/09/2016 13:37 - Australia - Invermay

Today, I woke up to a loud bang. Thinking someone had broken in, I grabbed my hunting knife and ran downstairs, only to find my TV on the floor, completely destroyed, and my cat casually sitting next to it without a care in the world. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 935

You deserved it 1 271

Rude awakening

By Anonymous - 11/06/2021 16:01

Today, I experienced the fright of a lifetime when I woke up and heard my bedroom door opening. Fearing that there was an intruder, I picked up a bat and opened the door, ready to whack the mystery intruder. There was no one there. No one, except my cat, who apparently knows how to open doors now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 827

You deserved it 127

By Anonymous - 30/07/2015 01:50 - United States - Schenectady

Today, I woke up on the couch and realized I had fallen asleep while doing laundry. Ran to the laundry room, and found all my clothes gone. I really wish I hadn't been doing a load of all my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 002

You deserved it 3 174

By Noname - 13/03/2009 03:42 - United States

Today, I woke up to find my car broken into. After being upset for not hearing my car alarm go off I realized it had in the middle of the night. I had woken up and cursed the idiot who set off their alarm and put a pillow over my head, falling back to sleep shortly after. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 781

You deserved it 54 225

By LostSleep - 24/05/2016 21:54 - United Kingdom

Today, I was woken at 4 a.m. by the sounds of someone crashing down the stairs. I scrambled out, still half-asleep, to find out that nobody was in an agonized heap at the bottom. The walls are so thin in my house that I could hear the neighbour falling down HIS stairs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 747

You deserved it 786

Freaky

By Anonymous - 28/01/2016 20:24 - United States - Honolulu

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom. I was there with the lights out when something ran across my foot. I freaked out, tried to kick it off, and ended up smashing my foot into the side of the tub. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 399

You deserved it 3 185

By IVOaf - 26/02/2014 20:55 - United States

Today, as I tried to get out of bed, I got my foot tangled in my sheets. I reached out to my dresser to avoid falling flat on my face. I didn't fall, but I did manage to smash my fingers in the drawer while still trapped in the sheets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 560

You deserved it 4 859

Welshite 39

Saturday 21 December 2013 2:01

Here's Johnny!

firebirds118 11

Saturday 21 December 2013 2:07

"Officer, somebody embedded an axe in my door and then peed in my underwear"

Comments

Cartruck10 3

Sunday 22 December 2013 7:44

If u can own 1 I suggest getting a home defence weapon (gun)

bme1993 7

Sunday 22 December 2013 11:21

by any chance do you live in a Christmas tree?

likemice 6

Monday 23 December 2013 3:39

I think you've a bigger problem than little pee.

TooFuckinFunny 3

Monday 23 December 2013 4:12

The fact that you're on FML instead of packing...

JoBHarvelle 7

Thursday 26 December 2013 14:10

Obviously Tom Hanniger found a new place to call "Harmony".

thiswhitey 13

Friday 27 December 2013 10:13

while they're on here, someone who stuck an axe in their door is out there..

phreaker913 21

Friday 27 December 2013 22:44

When life gives you an axe, best not to ask questions. Place it in your zombie survival kit and treat it as a win

Fuzy2K 7

Tuesday 31 December 2013 13:36

Little pig, Little p-- Oh, I got the wrong house...

amisenho 11

Monday 6 January 2014 19:16

You just had to be located in Sweden when this happened. The stereotypes are getting ridiculous!

KittyHawkMarch 29

Friday 7 November 2014 6:22

People are ******* nuts.

Keywords

Dreams Jealousy Love Geek Gamers Video games AITA Kids Parents Family Animals Relatable Gun control Money Amazon Annoying Birthday Cute Weird Awkward Health Abuse Social Media Scams Mysterious Friends Miscellaneous School Education Teenagers

The Top

Today, my boyfriend and I were making love. I've been working on a novel for the past six months, and what would have been mid-way through, I accidentally said the main character's name instead of my boyfriend's. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 583

You deserved it 16 950

Today, I was at the hairdresser's getting a trim. The lady doing my hair commented on how beautiful and luscious my hair was, which made me feel really good. I later overheard her telling her colleague that hair as nice as mine was wasted on someone with a face like mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 027

You deserved it 3 365

The Top

Today, I told my husband to tell me his wildest fantasy. He told me it was to put on fake antlers and "do it like deer". FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 897

You deserved it 8 393

Today, my mom came in my room to give me a goodbye kiss. Out of pure instinct, from hours of doing this to my girlfriend in this exact same spot, I held the kiss way longer than what a mother-son kiss should last. My mom actually had to tell me to "let go" before I let her leave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 562

You deserved it 2 052

Today, I have really big insecurities, and the ONLY thing I like about myself is my hair. I got it permed yesterday, and just now I used shampoo on it, and my hair is falling out. All 12” of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 452

You deserved it 329

Today, I was cutting the grass when I saw a man staring at me from my neighbor's garage. This went on for 5 minutes until I finally yelled, "Hello?" There was no response, and I was creeped out, so I called my neighbor. It was a life-sized Paul McCartney cutout. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 966

You deserved it 36 388

Today I bought the Gold edition to a game for $90. I expected to be very good only to realize it was the same as the previous installment. I went to check the refund policy and it said that I had to have played less than 2 hours, I had 121 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 542

You deserved it 988

Today, a cop rear-ended me. Then I received a ticket from him for driving too far under the speed limit. We were in a school zone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 152

You deserved it 4 234