Money: Today, I woke up on Christmas morning to find that a large cock...

By Sophies - 26/12/2013 00:45 - United Kingdom - Bristol

Today, I woke up on Christmas morning to find that a large cock and balls had been keyed into the windscreen of my car. My new, two-week-old car, which I will be paying off for the next four years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 657

You deserved it 3 131

Father's Day: Daddy Chicken or Daddy Wet Hen?
Stories of extraordinary fathers, sometimes awkward but always hilarious. A family read! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By XmasGrinch - 24/12/2016 13:49

Today, on Christmas Eve, as I was getting my car loaded for the holiday rounds to the in-laws and parents, my car decided now was the time to break down. I recently put in over $1000 fixing it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 264

You deserved it 591

By stolen-car - 26/06/2012 02:55 - United States - Columbia

Today, I finally got enough money to buy the car I wanted for a year now. It was stolen today too. I had my car for 4 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 679

You deserved it 2 655

By Unhappymothersday - 17/05/2012 20:41 - United States - Raleigh

Today, I woke up to the sound of my car being stolen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 509

You deserved it 2 168

By Anonymous - 13/12/2010 02:36 - United States

Today, I woke up to an early Christmas present on my car. It was a nicely wrapped box containing a dead bird, a half eaten sandwich, and a note reading "MERRY F**KING CHRISTMAS STAN." This will probably be my only Christmas present. My name is Luke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 051

You deserved it 2 417

By Lindsey Taul - 22/12/2017 22:00 - United States - Granite City

Today, while driving home from work, I heard a loud crash immediately followed by the sound of wind and shifting glass over my head. My sunroof exploded for no perceptible reason 5 days before Christmas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 213

You deserved it 290

Throw the bill at the kid. Do it.

By Deadmeat - 12/09/2017 04:29

Today, I was really excited that I'd made it the two weeks I'd borrowed my mother-in-law's new car without putting a scratch on it. I got off work to discover a customer's child throwing rocks in the parking lot. They cracked the windshield. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 035

You deserved it 266

By FMLimsomad - 29/12/2009 20:59 - United States

Today, I looked outside and I saw that my new car had been snowed on. Sadly the snow had frozen onto the car, so I spent the entire day getting it off. I came inside. By 8pm, my car had snow all over it again, and this time I left the window open. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 572

You deserved it 38 311

Act of god

By Anonymous - 05/04/2023 00:00

Today, I purchased a new car. On the drive home, gusts of wind blew up debris and pebbles and caused little chips in the paint and small chips on the windshield. FML

I agree, your life sucks 728

You deserved it 85

By Anonymous - 25/05/2012 17:56 - United Kingdom

Today, I replaced my car's windscreen wipers, after someone stole the last pair. After I finished, I went indoors for a drink. When I returned, the new ones had been stolen too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 577

You deserved it 2 236

By Animal_aide - 07/01/2010 18:42 - Canada

Today, I got my car back from the repair shop. After paying $400 for them to fix the scratches on the driver's side door, some one decided to key both sides of my car while I was on my lunch break from work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 035

You deserved it 2 961

alexsannell 13

Thursday 26 December 2013 8:56

Replace it... You don't have to leave it like that forever :)

challan 19

Thursday 26 December 2013 9:06

Those wankers! So ballsy of them. They basically pissed all over you, Op. Do you live by the docks? Those semen are rough characters. Did you call the police? I would, in a hairy situation like this. Those guys are nuts!

Comments

smokecloud_ 37

Thursday 26 December 2013 14:17

No, but I think we need to start.

tommyfox 19

Thursday 26 December 2013 15:42

JMichael 25

Thursday 26 December 2013 15:44

Please don't..

sanecatlady 13

Thursday 26 December 2013 16:05

That's awful! People who do things like that need to be locked up, except that they don't learn from just being locked up. Instead they need to pay for the damage and repair it, and be forced to walk around in public with a huge sign saying: "I'm a vandal with the maturity level of a 6-year-old" Yes, I do believe in humiliating people for their crimes. >:)

NatalieOntheTram 11

Thursday 26 December 2013 16:23

Agreed. Public shaming works wonders. Jail? Not so much.

Girlie7 11

Thursday 26 December 2013 16:27

Atleast it had a large ****!

sickerthanyou 13

Thursday 26 December 2013 16:30

I guess they didn't know you were a girl, they needed to keyed a ******, not a dick with balls

Tidus0 17

Thursday 26 December 2013 16:57

Windscreen replacement isn't that expensive. Even some insurance companies if you opt for it in the premium include one free windscreen replacement per year (well at least in Australia). But OP seriously I would replace it. Anything etched into glass weakens those points and being a main glass panel in your car it could be dangerous in the event it shatters or gets broken while driving. Your life is more valuable than the cost of the repair.