Intimacy: Today, I went to the airport after saying goodbye to my, for...

By Anonymous - 23/03/2013 15:21 - Norway - Trondheim

Today, I went to the airport after saying goodbye to my, for some reason, giggling boyfriend. I learnt why he was so cheerful when I opened my purse in front of the guards, only to find pink-furry handcuffs, and a huge dildo. They pretended not to know what it was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 337

You deserved it 6 823

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Same thing different taste

By notthatkinkyanyway - 13/11/2011 12:46 - China

Today, I'm on holiday with my boyfriend. Going through Chinese customs, an officer pulled us aside, removed a suspicious metal object from my boyfriend's luggage and called six other officers to have a look. It was a kinky pair of handcuffs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 533

You deserved it 6 384

Suspicious

By BilletsDoudous - 15/01/2015 06:51 - France

Today, I was working as a ticket inspector on a train. A suspiciously-acting thirty something guy got on board with two huge bags. Worried, I kept an eye on him. I wasn't disappointed when he got 5 furry toys out of his bags and started to have a conversation with them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 452

You deserved it 3 392

By Brittany - 10/04/2009 20:07 - United States

Today, my boyfriend's friends were throwing him a surprise birthday party. I thought it'd be funny to get him some fuzzy handcuffs and a box of condoms as a gift. They never told me they invited his parents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 100

You deserved it 49 920

By juliette - 08/10/2012 05:39 - United States - Tucson

Today, I surprised my boyfriend with a bag containing condoms and sexy lingerie. He looks into it and says, "I hope you kept the receipt." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 521

You deserved it 4 500

By jennyygrace - 11/07/2009 00:16 - United States

Today, I was walking through airport security when a guard began making lewd gestures at his crotch, while looking at me. I was outraged until I realized he was trying to tell me that my fly was down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 608

You deserved it 41 630

By BigPurplePresent - 28/07/2009 13:34 - South Africa

Today, I was really upset after work, and tearily asked my boyfriend to bring something over to cheer me up when he visited later. An hour or so later he arrived, having bought me a brand new large purple dildo to "brighten my mood". FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 037

You deserved it 18 113

By well then... - 15/06/2013 05:04 - Canada - London

Today, as I was crossing to the US, I got pulled over by border patrol for looking "suspicious". The female cop searched my purse and found a condom. She smirked and said, "I doubt you'd ever need that." FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 415

You deserved it 4 788

By ouch - 01/09/2010 13:50 - Belgium

Today, I was in the airport after saying goodbye to my boyfriend who left for three months. Walking back to my car, I saw a young couple kissing passionately. If that wasn't bad enough, the guy then picked his girlfriend up, spun her round in the air and her foot kicked me square in the jaw. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 320

You deserved it 4 195

Mom Jokes FTW

By Embarrassed Daughter - 18/07/2017 08:26 - United States - Erlanger

Today, as we were going through airport security, my mom tried to joke with the person searching her bag, saying, "Just don't take out my vibrator!" She practically shouted it for the whole line to hear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 339

You deserved it 357

Mind your own business

By Anonymous - 20/06/2013 00:13 - United States - Lees Summit

Today, I was at the airport when I saw a woman drop her bags and run to her husband. Thinking that someone might steal them, I picked up her bags and brought them over to her. She thanked me by slapping me, calling me a bitch and calling security. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 564

You deserved it 5 911

Pleonasm 35

Saturday 23 March 2013 19:35

Pretended not to know what it was? "What is this? I'm going to have to show this foreign object to the sniffer dogs, it could contain drugs." That could have been even more embarrassing.

streetriots 9

Saturday 23 March 2013 19:36

My girlfriend is flying out of town tomorrow. Must do this.

Comments

ni0ve 9

Sunday 24 March 2013 2:05

I always check by bags before I leave home to airport to school avoid having to throw anything away

Burton_Forever 23

Sunday 24 March 2013 2:05

Just wink at the air port security an own up to it don't get embarrassed!

felixshen 18

Sunday 24 March 2013 2:50

Hmmm I didn't know handcuffs were allowed in carry-on.

OlgaCornmuffin 7

Sunday 24 March 2013 2:57

wish those had been the guards who found my first pair of thing panties I was smuggling in my luggage! I had to hide it from my ultra-conservative mother & the guards found the blue satin thing with yellow stars....& held it up in the air. I was 16. now THAT'S an FML. Haha. your dude sounds hilarious.

caysters 12

Sunday 24 March 2013 14:49

That's very unprofessional and they are not suppose to do that. My ex could have gotten fired if he found anything like that and held it up. He found a huge ***** with suction cup on one end and had to keep going like nothing happened. They aren't suppose to flash things like that around.

meintx 9

Sunday 24 March 2013 3:02

Your BF is awesome. I love a guy with that kind of a wild sense of humor. I hope he was able to see it happen. It kind of makes you wonder just how much stuff like that they see.