Animals: Today, I went to a fancy beauty parlor to prepare for my sister's...

By poophead - 30/05/2015 02:39 - Philippines

Today, I went to a fancy beauty parlor to prepare for my sister's birthday party. The minute I stepped out of the salon, with my hair beautifully trimmed and curled, a bird decided to use it as a toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 757

You deserved it 2 553

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Same thing different taste

By birdmagnet - 25/04/2009 19:12 - United States

Today, I spent 90 dollars and two and a half hours getting my hair done at a fancy salon. As I was unlocking my car, a bird pooped in my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 173

You deserved it 12 617

By Anonymous - 23/09/2012 11:11 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, my sister stopped by to visit me with her pet bird in tow. She asked me to hold the animal while she went to the toilet, and put it on my shoulder. It promptly shat on my only clean shirt and tore away a good deal of skin from my hand when I tried to get it off me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 356

You deserved it 2 569

By lily_marleen - 17/05/2015 21:27 - Germany - Emskirchen

Today, I had an outdoor meeting with some important clients. It wasn't until the meeting was over that my coworker decided to inform me that I had bird poop in my hair "pretty much the entire time." FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 987

You deserved it 2 125

I am very hungry

By I'mSoHungry - 11/01/2020 08:00 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, a bird flew into the workshop where I work, gave itself a tour of the place, then promptly pooped on my lunch and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 325

You deserved it 197

By Keaton - 15/06/2010 16:58 - United States

Today, I got a bird as a pet. I thought it would be funny to put it on my head and take a picture. When the flash went off the bird flew off my head and pooped at the same time. You could see it in the picture. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 359

You deserved it 44 963

Halved

By Anonymous - 04/09/2019 14:00

Today, I went to the hair salon to get a fresh trim before receiving my master's diploma. The hairdresser managed to shave off half my eyebrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 622

You deserved it 117

Polly Want a Wax

By Baldy - 07/09/2017 13:00

Today, I was using pre-waxed strips to wax my eyebrows when my parrot investigated by walking through them. He then screamed, flew into my hair, thrashed around, and got stuck. I now have two bald spots and two parrot bites. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 689

You deserved it 649

By Rye - 19/02/2009 03:51 - United States

Today, I let my friend cut my hair and after a few minutes, she looked at what she had done and then she ran out of the room, laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 817

You deserved it 17 164

**** my shit up

By Anonymous - 11/03/2023 16:00 - Canada

Today, I tried to use a fancy new hairstyling tool and ended up getting my hair tangled in it. I had to cut a chunk of my hair off to free myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 643

You deserved it 231

Eyepatch nightmare

By 1eyedpirate - 08/10/2023 00:02

Today, after years of my husband offering to trim my bangs, I finally let him. On the first snip he managed to cut the skin beneath my eyebrow. Ten minutes before that, our newborn shat all over me, even getting it in my hair. To make me feel better, since we have a parrot, my husband said that I could finally fulfill my dreams of being a pirate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 583

You deserved it 137

hippodankamus 22

Saturday 30 May 2015 19:47

*incoming puns related to shit and poop*

gm1beanzz 14

Saturday 30 May 2015 19:47

Birds are assholes.

Comments

GothicKnife 11

Saturday 30 May 2015 22:19

Well OP certainly had a shitty day.

X_KassidyRose_X 12

Saturday 30 May 2015 22:46

Same thing happened to my cousin, afterwards he had his bike stolen...

hailhydra 6

Saturday 30 May 2015 22:50

Call it a trending style and rock that shit to the party, you might be the party pooper but it's better than letting the birds win. chin up op

legendairy3000 16

Saturday 30 May 2015 23:24

That sounds like a shitty situation.

iwadasn 32

Saturday 30 May 2015 23:35

There were 30 comments before yours. Did you really think you were the first one to make that pun?

Tournesol143 28

Saturday 30 May 2015 23:27

Actually, getting hit by bird shit is considered good luck!

42069666 18

Sunday 31 May 2015 0:03

isn't that good luck? every cloud has a silver lining

Cyrus00 41

Sunday 31 May 2015 1:05

You need a hairmit. Helmet to protect your hair when you've come out the hairdressers! Guilty scrubs fan!

thatsme293 28

Sunday 31 May 2015 2:36

Now your hair is filthy shades of gray.

russfml 31

Sunday 31 May 2015 2:59

It sounds like they're paying the bird off for repeat business lol FYL

Hop6e 22

Sunday 31 May 2015 3:40

Shoot it?

Keywords

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The Top

Today, a person I've never met called me a whore and spat on me. Why? Because I was babysitting for my neighbors and answered the door for two well dressed women passing out religious pamphlets. I politely declined to take any. Apparently being a 15 year-old girl caring for a toddler makes me a sex worker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 565

You deserved it 61

Today, I set aside a weekend to spend time with a friend. I learned that someone else is staying there: a fat, unemployed man-child who talks shit about us on Facebook, while his manipulative wife pays his bills. He got evicted from his last home when he pretended to be a ninja and cut up his neighbor's garden. FML

I agree, your life sucks 337

You deserved it 71

The Top

Today, my dad demonstrated just how incredibly illiterate he is. He sent me a chain email about the awful lives of people with "Asparagus syndrome". FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 848

You deserved it 3 723

Today, after leaving for a two-week-trip, and thinking this time my mom would finally have no choice but to clean the dirty toilet herself for once, because I’ve been doing it the entire year, along with most other chores, I think you can guess what I did first thing upon my return. FML

I agree, your life sucks 859

You deserved it 134

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I brought to her attention a rather large zit on the corner of her mouth. She called me an insensitive prick. I only pointed it out because I didn't want other people to see it and make fun of her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 284

You deserved it 20 822

Today, I spent 4 hours carefully cleaning the inside and outside of my car. Fairly proud of the job I had done, I parked my car safely in my garage. Later, I opened my garage to find bird shit all over my car. Apparently birds get nervous when they get trapped in garages. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 677

You deserved it 5 383

Today, I went on a blind date. My date turned out to be my cousin's ex. Awkward doesn't even begin to describe it. We spent the entire dinner avoiding eye contact and pretending not to know each other. FML

I agree, your life sucks 442

You deserved it 143

Today, my mom caught me absentmindedly staring at my puppy's butthole. She'd also been standing there for 5 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 554

You deserved it 1 971