Miscellaneous: Today, I went over to my friend's house. After knocking on the...

By CooBerry3851 - 28/08/2011 08:27 - United States

Today, I went over to my friend's house. After knocking on the door, I was greeted by her hairy, 300+ pound father in his underwear. He then hugged me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 703

You deserved it 3 243

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Same thing different taste

By noooo - 08/08/2011 07:10 - United States

Today, my new friend and I went out to a concert. When we came back to her house, she ran upstairs and left me alone. Suddenly, a naked man came into my view and I stared at him, horrified. Great way to meet her Dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 014

You deserved it 2 703

By Fatty - 27/12/2009 07:15 - United States

Today, the guy I've had a crush on came over to my house. My Dad came in to see how we we're doing, looks at me and says "Man... You've REALLY been puttin' on the pounds!", pokes me in the stomach a few times, and leaves. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 490

You deserved it 4 171

By Anonymous - 04/04/2009 02:07 - United States

Today, I was hanging out at a friend's house. Her adorable 5 year-old sister came up, gave me a hug, and said, "You're fat. When are you going home?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 873

You deserved it 6 070

By Burntintomyretinas - 19/09/2012 04:40 - Australia - Chatswood

Today, I went over to my girlfriend's house. She'd told me not to ring the doorbell and just come in so that I wouldn't wake her dad up. As I walked upstairs, her father walked out of the bathroom naked. We locked eyes. I can't get the image out of my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 828

You deserved it 3 605

By Selina - 22/06/2013 22:59 - United States - Trenton

Today, my dad invited our very cute neighbor inside to introduce him to me. I was wearing pajamas and hadn't showered in two days due to being extremely sick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 791

You deserved it 5 321

What ARE you doing?

By jentea - 05/09/2010 02:22 - Canada

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house waiting for him to get out of the shower. Bored, I sent my friend a picture of myself pretending to make out with his bear rug. After the photo shoot, I looked in the doorway to find his dad staring at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 356

You deserved it 34 926

By KeptMyHandsUp - 17/08/2017 17:15 - United States

Today, I was meeting my girlfriend's parents for the first time. She warned me they were a little weird. Right when we walked in the door, her parents were there to greet us...in the nude. Apparently this constitutes as a LITTLE weird. They both hugged me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 161

You deserved it 328

By Anonymous - 07/12/2010 10:35 - Norway

Today, I got a phone call from a friend, who lives in the same neighbourhood as me, wondering if it was my father she saw walking a dog by her house, wearing only his boxers. It was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 916

You deserved it 2 386

By Some Girl - 08/01/2011 06:38 - United States

Today, I went to my boyfriend's house to meet his parents. Right when I arrived, his little sister said, "She's a lot fatter than you said!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 202

You deserved it 4 963

By thanksmom - 02/02/2011 02:01 - United States

Today, I finally got up the nerve to invite the guy I like to hang out at my house. It was also the day my mother decided that our house is a "pants optional zone," and that she should implement that policy immediately. While he was at our house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 197

You deserved it 2 866

marijuanasmoker4 3

Sunday 28 August 2011 16:08

Bear Hug!

jallred254 4

Sunday 28 August 2011 16:09

Hopefully you didn't get sucked into one of his rolls.

Comments

Lights_Out_fml 6

Sunday 28 August 2011 16:23

Fat bastard wants to play.

tanishaAM21 4

Sunday 28 August 2011 16:30

Hugs for Drugs!! :)

trellz17 19

Sunday 28 August 2011 16:31

"go to my happy place, go to my happy place!!"

upwardSpiral 4

Sunday 28 August 2011 16:35

he just wanted some love!!

sunny532 2

Sunday 28 August 2011 16:38

U r lucky. He atleast wore tht underwear.

Yung23 0

Sunday 28 August 2011 16:39

Was it Peter Griffin? Lmfao

candyman13 0

Sunday 28 August 2011 16:41

Finally! Someones bringing sexy back!

RokNRoll11 9

Sunday 28 August 2011 16:46

Could have been worse.

SpaceDementia_fml 4

Sunday 28 August 2011 16:46

JESUS CHRIST IT'S A WALRUS GET IN THE CAR

brianod 0

Sunday 28 August 2011 16:53

not awkward at all

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I was flirting with this cute girl from Croatia who is part of the my exchange group in Holland. After a few beers and some smooth talking, she led me inside to a closed off room. We were about to have sex when her boyfriend of two years called and proposed to her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 840

You deserved it 22 215

Today, I was going to propose to my girlfriend on my boat at the lake. As we were looking at the mountains all around us, she playfully pushed me off the side into the water. As I got back on the boat, I realized that not only was my cellphone dead, but the ring had fallen into the deep water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 650

You deserved it 297

The Top

Today, my boyfriend and I were making out when I asked him to go brush his teeth, since his breath stank. He went back to playing video games. FML

I agree, your life sucks 897

You deserved it 275

Today, I had a meeting with my girlfriend, who I live with and work with but on different teams. Both our teams got laid off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 933

You deserved it 140

Today, my mom threw my tampons in the garbage and said that from now on, I'll be buying pads instead. Turns out she read a scare story going around by email that all the local teens are soaking their tampons in alcohol and inserting them anally to secretly get drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 903

You deserved it 2 148

Today, I was watching a movie with my boyfriend. We were getting into the mood so I tried to eat the popcorn kind of sexually, causing me to choke on the popcorn and throw up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 504

You deserved it 18 685

Today, a woman came into my work and yelled at me because no one told her the cake she had bought the week before was made of ice cream. She'd hidden it in the cupboard and it melted. I work in Dairy Queen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 466

You deserved it 2 572

Today, I argued with my girlfriend over her constantly wasting our money on acupuncture. She said if I could prove it was baloney, she would stop. After I showed her copious amounts of scientific proof debunking it as pseudo-science, she told me we're "taking a break" from our relationship. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 725

You deserved it 11 885

Same thing different taste

What ARE you doing?

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