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By Jeff / Tuesday 15 July 2014 20:37 / United States
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Maybe. Being direct is good but one can't do it all the time for everything. If I was put in the doghouse every time I ask if my gf is done with her food Id be single by now. Op's gf should be giving him the benefit of the doubt when it comes to interpretations of passing phrases just like he should do for her. I don't sense much trust in the relationship at this point though.

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I agree 139. I couldn't imagine getting peeved at every little thing my boyfriend says because I took it the wrong way. this is why it's better to ask to clarify, it saves both parties a lot of unnecessary aggravation. also, and maybe it's just me, but if I was putting on a few pounds, and my boyfriend said something, I'd take it into consideration. "hm, maybe I can save the rest of my meal for later. (or offer him a bite!)" but alas all women don't operate this way.

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Proper communication IS key. I don't know that "Are you going to finish that?" counts as proper communication. You know what my boyfriend asks when he wants a bite of my food? "Could I please have a bite?" Direct, clear, and polite. However, I WILL grant that OP's girlfriend completely overreacted. I might get a little annoyed if someone asked me if I was going to finish my food, because it makes me feel rushed, but it is a VERY minor annoyance and doesn't deserve the reaction it got.

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It's a very common way of politely asking for the rest of someone's meal. Asides from calling you "fat" what else would you possibly interpret that as?

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Maybe he just didn't want to waste food. He was asking for what she didn't finish. That's not him being greedy. Also, why order an entire other meal if someone doesn't finish theirs. People tend to waste a lot of food.

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48, I think not being able to share a bite of food with your SO is more greedy than him simply asking for a taste. I can't believe how stingy people are to vehemently refuse to share a bite of food. jesus. no one's "inner, or outer for that matter, fat person" will starve because you gave up a small portion of your entire meal.

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Why is sharing food so difficult? My very first date with my last boyfriend, the first thing he did was offer me a bite of his meal. "Try this, it's good!" Trying one another's food became a habit on our dates and was actually a lot of fun. If you care about someone, you want them to experience "good stuff."

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I see your point but it's nobody's job to raise someone's self-esteem. By all means, it's good to give compliments but a person shouldn't need validation from others to know they're worth. That's their job.

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Well to be fair, 111, by committing to a relationship, you're kind of taking responsibility for each others happiness. It's not only OP's job to keep her confident, but it shouldn't be an every-man-for-himself scenario.

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Of course you should give your partner praise and complement them when you're in a relationship. I wasn't saying you shouldn't. I was saying the a person shouldn't need constant validation from there partner to feel good about themselves. That could get tiring. It's really annoying when you give someone a compliment and they reply with "no I'm not", or " you're just saying that." Confidence is one of the sexiest traits, in my opinion at least.

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Or they're just complete idiots who believe people that hate them but not their friends. I knew a girl (cheating ex girlfriend) who believed that because her bully from primary (elementary) school told her she's fat, she must lose as much weight as possible, literally starve herself to become skinny, and anytime I told her she is lovely the way she is she would call me a liar and talk to some random stranger about how she wants to bounce on their huge dick. Girls just confuse me.

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No the secret is finding a girl that will give you true information about our secret club. If you can find a girl that will tell you the truth and honest opinion that is the grail.

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