By creepermagnet - 06/04/2009 19:39 - United States

Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for a while, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "Soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML
I agree, your life sucks 399 710
You deserved it 46 066

creepermagnet tells us more.

creepermagnet 0

Let me tell you the rest of the story: this actually happened a couple months ago, but I just discovered this site. First off, there was NO second date. My God. Right after he said that, I told him I wanted to go home (he had driven, and I didn't have a car or any way to get home). He then asked if I wanted to go to the woods so he could "do things to me." I told him no, going home would be fine. He took me home and I called him and told him I never wanted to see him again. For half an hour, he tried to convince me to see him again, but I eventually just hung up. For a month or so he called me every day but I didn't answer. Finally, I grew tired of this and I answered the phone. I told him he was really scaring me and he needed to stop trying to contact me. He told me, "I was falling in love with you but they all laughed at me!" (Mind you, I do not know who "they" are. Nor do I wish to know). I told him I was very sorry, but he had to stop calling me or I would contact the police. He then said to me, "Where is the darkness??? Why do you paint me as a demon when I just want to show you the light???" I haven't spoken to him since.

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Top comments

Ender_ 0

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Best pickup line ever.

965 21

Comments

AK 2

JESUS CHRIST that is so freaky. Cut off all ties with this guy.

1 0
creepermagnet 0

Let me tell you the rest of the story: this actually happened a couple months ago, but I just discovered this site. First off, there was NO second date. My God. Right after he said that, I told him I wanted to go home (he had driven, and I didn't have a car or any way to get home). He then asked if I wanted to go to the woods so he could "do things to me." I told him no, going home would be fine. He took me home and I called him and told him I never wanted to see him again. For half an hour, he tried to convince me to see him again, but I eventually just hung up. For a month or so he called me every day but I didn't answer. Finally, I grew tired of this and I answered the phone. I told him he was really scaring me and he needed to stop trying to contact me. He told me, "I was falling in love with you but they all laughed at me!" (Mind you, I do not know who "they" are. Nor do I wish to know). I told him I was very sorry, but he had to stop calling me or I would contact the police. He then said to me, "Where is the darkness??? Why do you paint me as a demon when I just want to show you the light???" I haven't spoken to him since.

3 0
ddrluna 2

That's when you 'have to use the bathroom' and never come back.

1 0
jp11692 0

hahahahhahhaha this just made my life.

1 0
Silhouette_fml 0

Sounds like he was trying to make a joke, and probably failed at the delivery. But yea, I'm sure it was a harmless joke, albeit a creepy one.

1 0
Smoxxii 17

Yes, because making people uncomfortable and having them feel like their eggs and/or life may possibly be at risk is a totally humorous and harmless joke...

4 0
creepermagnet 0

Let me tell you the rest of the story: this actually happened a couple months ago, but I just discovered this site. First off, there was NO second date. My God. Right after he said that, I told him I wanted to go home (he had driven, and I didn't have a car or any way to get home). He then asked if I wanted to go to the woods so he could "do things to me." I told him no, going home would be fine. He took me home and I called him and told him I never wanted to see him again. For half an hour, he tried to convince me to see him again, but I eventually just hung up. For a month or so he called me every day but I didn't answer. Finally, I grew tired of this and I answered the phone. I told him he was really scaring me and he needed to stop trying to contact me. He told me, "I was falling in love with you but they all laughed at me!" (Mind you, I do not know who "they" are. Nor do I wish to know). I told him I was very sorry, but he had to stop calling me or I would contact the police. He then said to me, "Where is the darkness??? Why do you paint me as a demon when I just want to show you the light???" I haven't spoken to him since.

75 0
Sheereen_Maarof 0

omg, take care of yourself coz he sounds like a creepy psycho..

50 0
NicaLovesDisney 17

I would have gone to the police and tried to see if there was any way to get the creep to leave me alone! I'm glad you're okay OP, and I hope you don't have any more extremely creepy dates!

28 1
JessicaZado 11

He sounds scary and creepy! Stay away OP. And report him if you have to

15 1
hallix 21

Looks like someone got ahold of some pretty heavy drugs. I'd call the police anyway - that dude's psychotic!

18 0
kelseythompson 27

I'd watch out he knows where you live.. invest in some protection

21 1
GRgoldfish 19

I just have one thing to say, change your locks.

13 0
Kn0wledge123 21

"Show you the light!" I'm sorry, that part absolutely killed me. I could imagine this psycho with his arms flailing around, with gold chains and inverted crosses lol. But I hope you'll be ok. Call police just for good measure. He must be on drugs.

20 0
iambeccafran 4

Yet another shining example of why it's great to be a gun owner.

18 4
random_man1999 11

Learn to shoot because a restraining order is just a piece of paper

6 3
Unlucky1232 20

what the actual ****?

2 0
hl2701 10

holy shit, I can't believe you survived getting in the car with a psycho like that. Woman to woman, get some pepper spray and don't take rides from guys who want to rape you.

4 1
NostalgiaFreak9 41

If I were you, I would've excused myself to the bathroom and called a cab, I wouldn't want a creep like that knowing where I live, hell, I wouldn't want him to know which neighborhood I live in for extra safety. A joke like that would only be funny in my eyes if you two were in a relationship for at least 4 or more years and you actually talked about a plan to have kids, but on the first date, that's a major red flag.

0 0
omg_18 0

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. omg.

4 2
resawins 0

ohhhhhhh my gosh!!!!!!! wtf?! that's creepy as **** dude!!!

26 0