Animals: Today, I washed my hands and reached for the towel but felt...

By rb - 01/05/2011 06:02 - United States

Today, I washed my hands and reached for the towel but felt something sticky. It was a house centipede. It exploded. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 761

You deserved it 3 580

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Same thing different taste

By yesikilledit - 20/11/2018 13:30

Today, I woke up and saw a piece of black fuzz on my shirt. I tried to pick it off but it crawled into my hand and stabbed my skin with its sharp legs. I screamed like a little girl because I had a centipede on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 345

You deserved it 332

By SpideyFace - 19/03/2011 01:36 - Canada

Today, with water in my eyes, I stepped out of the shower and rubbed my face with a towel. When I looked in the mirror, I realized there had been a giant spider on the towel. Its guts and legs were smeared all over my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 912

You deserved it 5 867

By dre_bro11 - 06/11/2011 12:17 - Australia

Today, I found the same spider which I had let live yesterday hidden in my bath towel. I didn't find it until it was smeared on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 059

You deserved it 12 473

By thenotsomanlyman - 07/03/2011 16:17 - United States

Today, I flipped out when I saw a centipede. I screamed, very loudly and in a very high voice. My girlfriend came into the room, stomped on it, picked it up and threw it in the trashcan. I apologized to her for the scene and all she said was, "I'm used to it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 688

You deserved it 41 656

By yuckspider - 20/04/2009 00:17 - United States

Today, I saw a spider crawling on the floor but had nothing to kill it with and it hid somewhere. So, I got dressed and went out and come home for a shower, and as I'm taking off my undies, something crushed and black fell out. It was the spider and he had been in my underwear the entire day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 314

You deserved it 7 643

By yikes - 21/04/2012 08:36 - United States

Today, I went to the bathroom to pee. I looked at the toilet paper after I wiped and saw a spider on it. It was still wiggling its legs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 142

You deserved it 3 769

Juicy breakfast

By Anonymous - 07/01/2022 01:01 - Canada - Warman

Today, I woke up to a spider crawling across my face. I was so shocked that my new house had spiders, I jumped up out of bed, only to slip on the floor and land face down onto the bed. Wouldn't you know it, right where the spider was at that point. I can still taste the juice I squished out of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 042

You deserved it 150

Hello little guy

By Anonymous - 14/05/2021 00:00

Today, I put my house shoes on without socks, but felt a rock in them. I shook it free and out dropped a half-crushed roach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 986

You deserved it 104

He was just chillin'

By Anonymous - 04/07/2021 13:59

Today, I was taking a shower when I noticed the huge spider above my head. Now, being the smart person I am, I sprayed the water up at it, causing it to fall. Right on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 348

You deserved it 989

By Karmas3itch - 12/05/2009 04:19 - United States

Today, I was taking a bath and needed shampoo. I leaned on the soap holder to get some and it came off the wall. Huge ants started pouring out running up the walls, down the walls, EVERYWHERE. I ran out of the bathroom screaming, completely naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 84 916

You deserved it 6 756

IntoTheClouds 42

Sunday 1 May 2011 16:15

Looks like you were in a bit of a sticky situation.

ECMchase 0

Sunday 1 May 2011 16:16

Suicide bomber centipede.

Comments

Jelizondo 1

Sunday 1 May 2011 19:12

look on the bright side, at least you were not anally raped :)

pompom33 0

Sunday 1 May 2011 19:36

better than a human centipede?

TraceCase_ 19

Sunday 1 May 2011 19:42

Or HUMANCENTiPAD? Always read the fine print.

Niaa_fml 0

Sunday 1 May 2011 19:39

Be happy that you felt it with your hands and not after you took a shower cause that would simply suck.

Soonerfan85 0

Sunday 1 May 2011 19:39

Better than human centipede lol

KerryBear 0

Sunday 1 May 2011 20:01

Kinda deserve it for not looking at the towel first. Still sucks though.

Jimster1712 0

Sunday 1 May 2011 20:06

nasteyyyyyy

chanma 0

Sunday 1 May 2011 20:18

..and that is why I air dry

daniismiles11 0

Sunday 1 May 2011 20:24

all im gonna say is FYL !! i would 

Omegadolly 22

Sunday 1 May 2011 20:27

Ew ew ew, that is sooooooo not okay. DX TFYL

chellabella856 0

Sunday 1 May 2011 21:03

ewwwwwwww

Keywords

Relatable Mental health Health Growing old Periods Embarrassing Work Awkward Job interview Education Stalker Instagram Love Social Media Ironic Phobias Animals Spiders Transportation Bikes Ecology Kids Weird Parents Confused Drunk AITA Poopoo peepee Geek Facebook

The Top

Today, as I was translating for a patient to get an MRI, the tech asked if I had metal in my body. In front of the patient, I had to disclose that my nipples were pierced, so I couldn’t accompany the patient bedside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 168

You deserved it 378

Today, my best friend asked if I'd join him and his girlfriend for a 3-way. Since I've always had a crush on his girlfriend, I eagerly agreed. When I got there, I learned that their idea of a 3-way was them watching me jerk off while I watched them have sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 567

You deserved it 2 668

The Top

Today, after months of dieting, I finally reached my goal weight. Excitedly I told my boyfriend, who gave me a beautiful dress as an early Christmas present. It was a size too small. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 703

You deserved it 5 199

Today, I'm having my housewarming party and had prepared food, drink and games for all the 19 confirmed guests on Facebook. I waited till 11 but nobody showed up. I checked Facebook again and realized I had accidentally put tomorrow as the party date. I have to work the whole day tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 598

You deserved it 51 854

Today, as a joke, I hid under my parents' bed, hoping to scare them when they came home. When they finally arrived, they burst through their bedroom door, tearing each other's clothes off. I had to keep my breath in time with my mom's panting and moaning as my dad brutally dominated her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 607

You deserved it 97 438

Today, I jokingly said to my coworker, "God, what I wouldn't do for a week off work." I was then tested positive for COVID fifteen minutes later. FML

I agree, your life sucks 874

You deserved it 460

Today, I tried channeling Mr. Miyagi by catching a fly with my bare hands. It turned out to be a wasp. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 769

You deserved it 50 327

Today, I was ecstatic to have received a friend request from my crush of grade 4 after 11 years. He's grown up to be such a hottie. I quickly accepted his request, he messaged me and we ended up chatting for hours. Later, when I messaged him, he called me clingy and unfriended me from Facebook. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 687

You deserved it 2 023

Same thing different taste

Juicy breakfast

Hello little guy

He was just chillin'

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