Miscellaneous, Gross and Insects: Hello little guy

Hello little guy

By Anonymous - 14/05/2021 00:00

Today, I put my house shoes on without socks, but felt a rock in them. I shook it free and out dropped a half-crushed roach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 986

You deserved it 104

May Day: Lily of the Valley and Misunderstandings
When lilies of the valley bring good luck... or not! Discover the stories behind every little bell! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By YeahItsmecoolhuh - 17/02/2011 06:50 - United Arab Emirates

Today, I found a horde of ants in one of my socks when I put it on my foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 547

You deserved it 4 984

By all5fingers - 08/09/2011 05:23 - Canada

Today, I was playing my guitar and felt something like an itch under my foot, so I attempted to scratch it by rubbing against the floor. The big cockroach made a very distinct "crunch". FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 617

You deserved it 3 243

By Anonymous - 20/11/2011 00:21 - United States

Today, I went outside for a cigarette since I don't like smoking in the house. When I was done, I stomped it out. I wasn't wearing shoes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 120

You deserved it 66 162

By Anonymous - 07/02/2014 18:51 - Mayotte - Mamoudzou

Today, I found a roach in my takeaway. I found it after I felt something hard in my mouth and spat pieces of it back out onto my plate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 276

You deserved it 3 661

By no name - 22/02/2011 12:25

Today, I got up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water. I felt something get caught in my throat so I coughed and spluttered a bit. When I turned on the lights I discovered I'd coughed up a cockroach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 949

You deserved it 4 785

By jaqlove - 02/07/2016 20:28 - United States - Clementon

Today, I woke up with a cockroach in my ear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 015

You deserved it 2 642

By WhyGodWhy - 18/10/2016 06:33 - United States - Addison

Today, I spent the first night in my new home as a first-time homeowner. I was relaxing and enjoying the feeling of having my own space when I reached over to get my glasses and came back with a cockroach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 659

You deserved it 813

If the shoe fits…

By Bruce - 17/08/2010 17:09 - United States

Today, I discovered a bat in my new apartment. I found him in my shoe… with my foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 700

You deserved it 3 646

By Anonymous - 17/03/2017 19:00 - Australia - Perth

Today, something in my shoe was bothering me at work. After about 30 minutes, I finally had a chance to fix it. There was a squashed lizard in my shoe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 900

You deserved it 524

By moorox45 - 16/01/2012 17:10 - United States

Today, I put on a pair of sneakers that I'd left outside, and went jogging. After several minutes of pain, I pulled off one of the sneakers, only to find dozens of baby spiders had moved in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 478

You deserved it 11 753

bleachedraven 14

Friday 14 May 2021 3:23

🤢😱 wait...bug or joint? 🤣

BMXDude22 12

Friday 14 May 2021 10:08

Thanks, I giggled at your comment!

Comments

bleachedraven 14

Friday 14 May 2021 3:23

🤢😱 wait...bug or joint? 🤣

BMXDude22 12

Friday 14 May 2021 10:08

Thanks, I giggled at your comment!

Keywords

Poopoo peepee Health Jewelry Awkward Fight Kids Family Love Work Relatable Students Noise Birds Animals Sleep Mental health Medication Contraception Racism Relationship advice Pregnancy Cheating Teenagers Friends Intimacy Sex Embarrassing Revenge Food Boredom

The Top

Today, after getting ghosted by a company for a job I really wanted, I posted on LinkedIn, venting my frustration with companies not having the decency to send rejection letters. My current boss, who didn't know I was job hunting, saw it, and let me know I'm now on the shit list. FML

I agree, your life sucks 104

You deserved it 908

Today, while I was showering, someone left a note on the bathroom door that read, "We can all hear you masturbating. Shut the hell up." I don't know what's more embarrassing, that everyone in my house thought I was masturbating or that I was actually singing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 052

You deserved it 372

The Top

Today, I texted a friend offering my condolences over the death of his grandfather. He hadn't been told his grandfather had died yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 329

You deserved it 4 471

Today, I was getting on a bus, the driver shut the door on me while I was half way inside. Instead of apologizing to me, he criticized me for getting in the way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 932

You deserved it 3 344

Today, I was reassuring my girlfriend that I wasn't cheating on her because I was sneaking around. I'm actually just planning a surprise birthday party for her. During the reassuring, I accidentally called her another girl's name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 948

You deserved it 30 278

Today, my girlfriend tried explaining a duck flying into our living room and taking a shit everywhere as "paranormal activity". FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 727

You deserved it 3 762

Today, I went to work early and saw my crush's car in the parking lot, so I parked next to her. After that, I looked over at her car to see her staring at me with a weird look and her saying, "Really?" Then she gestured around the lot; I looked around to find it completely empty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 389

You deserved it 7 569

Today, because of my inexplicable tendency to constantly get giant splinters in my feet, which generally take at least half an hour of tireless effort to remove, my family and friends have nicknamed me "Footy Woody." FML

I agree, your life sucks 684

You deserved it 201

Hello little guy

Same thing different taste

If the shoe fits…

Top comments

Comments