Miscellaneous: Today, I was walking down the street when someone pushed me into...

By Anonymous - 08/07/2013 15:15 - Canada - Markham

Today, I was walking down the street when someone pushed me into poison ivy. He ran off saying, "That's for beating me in the race." I've never been in a race, nor have I ever met him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 649

You deserved it 3 522

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Same thing different taste

Threatening

By supersplatoon - 08/09/2015 23:03 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was walking down the street when someone started yelling at me, saying I was dead. I bolted, ran into a pole and when they caught up to me, said "Oh, wrong person." and walked off, leaving me bruised on the ground. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 071

You deserved it 2 704

By poisonivyandbigfoot - 10/09/2017 20:30 - United States - Denver

Today, I woke up with a rash all across my body. Last night, my boyfriend and I got it on in some bushes, and it seems one of those was poison ivy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 430

You deserved it 4 353

Smooth

By Anonymous - 16/04/2023 12:00 - United Kingdom - Blackpool

Today, I was out for a jog when I saw my ex-boyfriend walking towards me. I tried to duck behind a tree to avoid him, but I slipped on a plastic bag and fell into a lovely patch of mud. He saw the whole thing and walked away smirking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 589

You deserved it 526

By Anonymous - 16/02/2012 03:59 - United States

Today, feeling out of shape, I went for a jog. I got mugged. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 279

You deserved it 2 898

By Braxam - 15/06/2011 16:42 - United States

Today, I was walking to class, when a kid came up behind me and smacked me in the face a few times until I fell to the ground. I rolled over and he said, "Oh shit! Wrong person, my bad." FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 579

You deserved it 3 627

By Anonymous - 04/08/2019 00:01

Today, as I was jogging on the boardwalk, an old guy tripped me with his cane. As I was getting back up, I heard him say to his wife, "I wanted to see if she would actually fall." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 959

You deserved it 126

By Anonymous - 27/05/2015 14:21 - Mexico

Today, some guy I passed in the street was so high out of his mind, he beat the crap out of me, thinking I was a piñata. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 177

You deserved it 2 804

By ManInPain - 12/07/2011 16:46 - United States

Today, I was walking down the street to go to the movies, when I got punched in the back of the head. When I turned around, a stranger said, "HAHA! It's punch a random person day!" When I asked him why he chose me, he replied "You're ugly." FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 124

You deserved it 4 906

By Anonymous - 16/09/2011 17:26 - United States

Today, I was brutally run over by a man in a wheelchair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 676

You deserved it 3 979

By shalara - 15/06/2012 20:23 - Netherlands - Amstelveen

Today, I was walking down the street, when I saw a guy in front of me trip and fall forwards, and I quickly jumped forward to steady him. Apparently he thought he was being mugged, and threw his head backwards into my face, leaving my nose a bloody mess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 221

You deserved it 2 467

QueenOrangeSoda 21

Monday 8 July 2013 18:53

With such primitive uncivility, he sure didn't win the human race.

flockz 19

Monday 8 July 2013 19:05

that was the most elegant insult i've ever read. *golf clap*

Comments

ILoveMyArm 15

Monday 8 July 2013 19:18

Well, I guess you better stock up on benadryl and home remedies.

worldclassrager 39

Monday 8 July 2013 19:26

Get some aloe...and DON'T SCRATCH AT IT...that's how it spreads...get well soon...

TheGreatPotato 19

Monday 8 July 2013 19:28

Sounds like he was acting a little ir'rash'ional.

olpally 32

Monday 8 July 2013 20:02

Go chase him down and drag him into the poison ivy with you. What a douche.

RedPillSucks 31

Monday 8 July 2013 20:14

That's a bit far to go for retaliation, no?

lwonderful 11

Monday 8 July 2013 20:15

He shouldn't tool the time to figure out it wasn't actually the person he was in search for

Grimnirwher9 21

Tuesday 9 July 2013 17:55

Yes, because it's totally OK to push people into Poison Ivy because they are able ro run faster than you. Dafuq, #33?

Wakachulak 22

Monday 8 July 2013 20:16

It was the evolutionary race you beat him at.

grgnyce 8

Monday 8 July 2013 20:31

That blows.

Altrnate_Reality 14

Monday 8 July 2013 20:55

darn you op..why'd you have to look like the guy who beat him in that race!

Aregonde 15

Monday 8 July 2013 20:56

Sounds like time travel was involved. I bet your future self is going to do something to really piss this guy off.

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The Top

Today, I fucked up by clicking on my ex's new partner's stories while deep-diving into their Instagram. Now they know I'm still lurking in the shadows of their social media because they can see who viewed their stories, and I can feel the judgment radiating through the screen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 78

You deserved it 652

Today, I was stuck in a window seat next to the biggest/angriest man I've ever seen. During the trip, I reached down to pick up what I thought was my pillow but instead managed to pull off his huge sock. I couldn't put it back so had to pretend I had no idea why he was glaring at me when he woke up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 160

You deserved it 1 139

The Top

Today, I was in class and felt a sharp pain in my stomach. I began to scream and cry because the pain was horrible, so the teacher called 911. After being rushed to the hospital, I was told that "I had gas cramps and would be fine." My whole class was listening on speakerphone to make sure I was ok. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 799

You deserved it 12 949

Today, I was talking to my best friend about a cute guy that girls are afraid to even speak to, so I then decided to march right up to him and say hello. When he smiled at me, I stood there with my mouth wide open, but I made non-coherent words. He asked me if I was a foreign exchange student. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 112

You deserved it 29 682

Today, I cheated at card games to let my boyfriend win. I did it because I don't like him to throw the cards at me when I win. Now he just thinks I'm 'so slow a turtle could kick my ass' and that he has 'a cute little bubbly spud-brained girlfriend.' FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 108

You deserved it 37 197

Today, I was pet sitting for a friend. As soon as I walked in the door, I stepped in dog poop. I took off my shoes to clean them, then stepped in cat pee in my socks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 847

You deserved it 371

Today, I noticed some of my things in my slob of a roommate's piles of clothes. I found six pairs of my underwear that had gone missing. Turns out she hasn't done laundry recently so my underwear drawer was her own personal Victoria's Secret. I hadn't even worn a pair yet. All six were stained. FML

I agree, your life sucks 93 297

You deserved it 4 383

Today, I had to awkwardly grab my pink dildo after my husband's friend asked what it was that my dog was chewing on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 471

You deserved it 13 718

Same thing different taste

Threatening

Smooth

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