Work: Today, I was stuck in a room with a man who was catching flies....

By anonymous - 22/08/2011 11:04 - Australia

Today, I was stuck in a room with a man who was catching flies. That I could cope with, until he insisted on turning the lights out because it was 'stressing out' his flies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 573

You deserved it 2 389

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Human fly - 21/04/2013 06:20 - Canada - Maple Ridge

Today, I put up one of those hanging fly catchers in my room due to the unsettling amount of flies in the house. I remarked how stupid flies were to land on them. Within an hour, I got up and walked straight into it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 097

You deserved it 46 451

Guilty

By Fly-Trapping Monster - 14/08/2022 09:00 - United States

Today, I walked past my fly strip while a fly who had been caught, but hadn't yet died, was on it. While I was there, I could hear his frantic buzzing and see his little arms flailing like mad as he tried in vain to escape. Great. Now I feel like shit for putting these things up. What kind of a monster am I? FML

I agree, your life sucks 609

You deserved it 365

By ENDmySUFFERING - 21/07/2016 15:25 - United Kingdom - Southampton

Today, I walked into my son's room to be attacked by a swarm of flies. I'm afraid to go back in there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 252

You deserved it 1 292

Suspicious

By SEND HELP - 09/11/2022 19:00 - United States

Today, I keep killing flies in my room, probably dozens on a daily basis, and yet every day there seems to be more of them. I have to sleep backwards in my bed so the droning of the fan drowns out the buzzing noise, or else I can't sleep. Even then, I sometimes jump awake when one lands on my ear, which is often. FML

I agree, your life sucks 701

You deserved it 192

Flies gonna fly

By Defeated - 10/10/2022 16:40 - United States

Today, I've become so accustomed to having flies in my house that I just gave up on getting rid of them. I only kill the ones that repeatedly land on my face or, worst of all, in my ears. Especially when they get stuck in my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 404

You deserved it 740

By anonymous - 29/06/2016 03:11 - United States - Charlton

Today, for the third day in a row, I have been volunteered to kill and dispose of the bugs entering my apartment. I live with two "manly" men who can't use a flyswatter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 048

You deserved it 920

By JustAnotherFML23 - 04/09/2013 01:32 - United States - Seattle

Today, my loneliness reached a new level when I befriended the fly in my apartment, Mr. Stickyfoot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 464

You deserved it 7 080

By Anonymous - 26/10/2014 05:17 - United States

Today, I was at work and a lady screamed at my manager for about 15 minutes, saying I needed to be fired because I couldn't get rid of all the flies buzzing around her food. She was the one who chose to eat on our patio. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 290

You deserved it 2 499

By Disgusted - 04/02/2011 02:14 - United States

Today, I learned that my house's fly infestation is worse than I thought. I now have maggots crawling and dropping from my ceiling. I have to sleep under them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 245

You deserved it 10 758

Nutshot

By DanJames24 - 10/06/2021 21:01 - United Kingdom

Today, a work colleague was trying to kill a fly that was buzzing around the place. I was about to go on my break, but was stopped because she missed the fly and accidentally whacked me in the balls in the process. By the time I didn’t feel sick anymore, my break was over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 971

You deserved it 76

xrainbowshadowx 17

Monday 22 August 2011 15:57

And why exactly were you stuck in a room with a guy like that?

your_ma 27

Monday 22 August 2011 15:56

What a proper mental!

Comments

unholymasta 4

Monday 22 August 2011 16:01

Well. Did you turn off the light?

CareFace 16

Monday 22 August 2011 16:01

Welcome to Western Australia, where the mullets flow long, and the people tame flies.

marinus_fml 19

Monday 22 August 2011 16:08

Haha yeahhh dardy!

The_Great_Zucchi 15

Monday 22 August 2011 17:19

Well luckily from what I remember you do have plenty of flies!

BrettJ 0

Monday 22 August 2011 16:02

Hmmmmmmmm

omgthatsosuppera 4

Monday 22 August 2011 16:02

did you turn off the lights?

iampetard 0

Monday 22 August 2011 16:06

Dont be selfish help him take care of his flies

Babalu722 3

Monday 22 August 2011 16:08

Lord of the flies

White_Knightspc 0

Monday 22 August 2011 16:11

Everyone needs friends, apparently

Wheredidgrungego 12

Monday 22 August 2011 16:11

Dude. Where the **** do you hangout?!

JumbledGirl 2

Monday 22 August 2011 16:15

You should have started squishing them

JumbledGirl 2

Monday 22 August 2011 16:17

You should have started squishing Them

Keywords

Love Awkward Students Relatable Work Racism Cheating Health Relationship advice Pregnancy Friends Teenagers Embarrassing Intimacy Sex Revenge Food Cats Boredom Animals Management Sexism Kids Parenting Parents Miscellaneous Weird Job interview Facebook Social Media

The Top

Today, I was having sexy time with my girlfriend when she said she needed to pee. She came back 5 minutes later and started talking about how she hasn't seen her best friend in ages and misses her. Needless to say, I couldn't get the man downstairs back up when we continued. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 073

You deserved it 181

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because I'm too "high maintenance". And that's because I ask him to use condoms when we have sex, and I refuse to invite my friends over for threesomes. I don't know why I'm not actually glad we are broken up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 857

You deserved it 5 979

The Top

Today, my boyfriend was blowing his nose when out of nowhere he started laughing and said, “hey, my nose is exactly like you in bed, I have to finish if off with my finger to get the job done.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 914

You deserved it 301

Today, I saw some random iTunes charge on my bank account so I called who I thought was iTunes customer support to figure out the $5 charge, then got scammed into buying $1,400 worth of gift cards. The man on the phone was not with iTunes and took all my money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 107

You deserved it 5 568

Today, my wife brought home a kitten, telling me it had been abandoned. She must think I’m dumb, since our credit card statement shows that all last week she bought it from a breeder, then got it vaccinated and chipped at the vet's, and only now brought it home to feed me this pack of lies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 367

You deserved it 192

Today, I was talking to a guy I met on a dating site, and he asked if we could meet up and what we should do. When I suggested ice-skating he told me he was in a wheelchair, so I said we could go for a walk instead. I realised my mistake the moment I sent the message. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 106

You deserved it 2 170

Today, I went to an ATM to see how much money I had in my account. I put the card in. It never gave it back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 967

You deserved it 4 122

Today, I received a call from a top-rated university accepting me into the program of my dreams to begin my ultimate career. Two weeks ago, I accepted a permanent, full time and legally-binding job position in my depressive hometown because the school had previously rejected me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 138

You deserved it 126