Love: Today, I was sneaking over to my girlfriend's house. I sent her...

By Ohfman117 - 11/08/2009 20:30 - United States

Today, I was sneaking over to my girlfriend's house. I sent her mother a text message thinking it was my girlfriend saying "There's a stalker coming in to make you his play mate ;]" Unfortunately when I got to her window I was greeted by her dad with a bat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 952

You deserved it 71 765

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 29/10/2011 07:43 - United States

Today, I tried sneaking over to my girlfriend's house to be romantic and knocked on her window. She went and got her mother to see who was at the window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 459

You deserved it 23 816

Very very frightening

By graham - 11/01/2020 14:00

Today, my first time meeting my girlfriend's dad ended with him chasing me from his house and trying to hit me with a baseball bat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 840

You deserved it 349

By spiderhater - 12/04/2009 18:11 - United States

Today, I was with my girlfriend in her room. She starts screaming. Her father bursts in and, thinking I'm some kind of rapist, hits me in the head with a baseball bat. Not bad enough? I wasn't the one making her scream. There was a huge spider on the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 106 782

You deserved it 5 319

By mommydearest - 04/09/2011 16:08 - Denmark

Today, my paranoid wreck of a girlfriend read a text message on my phone from a woman asking if I was coming over for dinner. The woman was my mom. My girlfriend stormed out and hasn't answered my calls all day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 322

You deserved it 4 113

By Kaz - 07/05/2011 06:40 - United States

Today, I snuck out to see my girlfriend in the middle of the night. When I got to her house, I decided to throw a rock at her window to wake her up. It broke a hole in the window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 582

You deserved it 50 268

By IceMage - 18/01/2010 00:57 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I decided to sneak into the shower at her house while her parents went out to eat and a movie. Half way through our shower we heard a knocking at the door, it was her mom. We had left all of our clothes downstairs. Safe to say I won't be allowed there any more. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 634

You deserved it 39 385

By Anonymous - 05/04/2011 18:48 - United Kingdom

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house and we were just about to kiss. Until his mum walked in saying his girlfriend was at the door. I thought I was already there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 851

You deserved it 5 289

By Anonymous - 28/05/2013 16:51 - United States - Ozark

Today, I confessed to my girlfriend that I cheated on her. She told me that she needed time to think, and left. An hour later, her dad came by with a baseball bat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 221

You deserved it 146 861

By Anonymous - 01/08/2019 06:00

Today, my boyfriend sneaked into my room, not knowing I wasn't home. It would have been great, except my dad went in my room to put laundry away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 246

You deserved it 425

By Zack - 01/04/2012 21:36 - United States - Duncannon

Today, I woke up to shuffling noises coming from downstairs. Suspecting the worst, I jumped out of bed, and whispered over my shoulder for my girlfriend to stay quiet. Only after going downstairs and taking a swing in the dark with my bat did I figure out it was just my girlfriend foraging for snacks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 746

You deserved it 26 494

Nightfallz 0

Wednesday 12 August 2009 1:21

YDI psycho.

evangldbrg 0

Wednesday 12 August 2009 1:33

YDI for having your girlfriend's mom's number anyway...

Comments

GreeneyedWonder 0

Sunday 30 January 2011 5:16

Am I a bad person because I LOLed at OP's misfortune? Naw, that's what this site is for. ;)

sakura081995 0

Sunday 6 February 2011 8:05

i feel sorry for you. ive texted someone i didnt mean to text before but it was my friends boyfriend.

grafixxx687 0

Sunday 1 May 2011 7:22

why do u have her moms number!? :s

birdfreak 24

Friday 27 May 2011 4:45

huhhhhhh

LotsaLaughs 5

Tuesday 19 July 2011 6:11

WTF?! you deserved that one ~. :P

babbu18 0

Friday 22 July 2011 0:48

how the hell do you even have her moms number?? awkward but I guess you could in a way but still.... creepy

underguarded 20

Wednesday 31 August 2011 14:32

If your ever writing a text that is meant directly for someone, it takes 2 seconds to check who your sending it to.

iheartFML69814 2

Tuesday 29 November 2011 2:02

Maybe you shouldn't be sending such creepy ass texts, even to your girlfriend

lucyy123 14

Tuesday 31 July 2012 9:54

How'd u get her mothers number?!

yzzami 17

Saturday 19 January 2013 18:37

YDI for being so creepy

Keywords

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Today, one of my co-workers, who I secretly hate, announced she and her husband were expecting. She's rather big. Without thinking, I said, "How did he manage to find your vag under those fat rolls?" I got placed on suspension and now have to attend a training on sexual harassment in the workplace. FML

I agree, your life sucks 290

You deserved it 3 794

Today, I was riding on the back of my dad's motorcycle. After a few minutes, the vibrations from the engine became way too much for me and I couldn't control myself. I had such an intense orgasm, sitting right behind my father, with my arms around his waist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 92 798

You deserved it 16 310

The Top

Today, I got into my first car accident with a guy who didn't have a front license plate. Too bad it was a hit-and-run, as the cop said the footage was good enough that if he had had a license there, we could have gotten him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 932

You deserved it 406

Today, I helped a man with a neck brace get on the bus. I fell asleep, only to wake up later on to him gratuitously stroking my breasts with his elbow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 418

You deserved it 4 334

Today, my dad started Skype-ing with his long-distance friend. They’re both almost 90, barely have their hearing, and can't stop shouting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 106

You deserved it 187

Today, I found out my boyfriend has been cheating on me for months. It all started while I was in the hospital, he says, because we were supposed to go out that day, but then I "had to go and get sick". He blames my emergency surgery for his infidelity. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 851

You deserved it 3 194

Today, I texted a girl who I had hooked up with the night before to see if she wanted to hang out again. She responded, "I think we should keep it the way it was, before last night." I just met her last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 797

You deserved it 13 778

Today, the Australian police woke me up by knocking on my door and yelling my name. I start to panic, imagining the worst: burglars, murder, even drug trafficking. Apparently, I didn’t hear my alarm, so my boss called the cops to come and get me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 811

You deserved it 84

Same thing different taste

Very very frightening

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